this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

What I said in a reply to a comment chain

It's TSH or thyroid stimulating hormone an entirely different test.

I see this all the time at my work, like a dozen different results are printed off with the lab header and footer but no page breaks.

The PSA is on the page before and this spiel might be at the end of a much longer one listing all the default ranges (normal, cancer, post surgery etc).

It's pretty meaningless.

I think Epstein was a Canary M. Burns situation. He was an asset but also a fall guy. Why rescue the patsy?

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's a coincidence that Maxwell is still alive while Epstein's neck just did that. Pay no attention to who her father was or the guests in her father's funeral.

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah I always thought she was the handler, not the henchman.

[–] splendidsadiks@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

well Virginia Giuffre did say thay specifically

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 71 points 1 day ago (8 children)

I'm still very skeptical of this "Epstein is ALIVE!" shit.

Like I'm a little worried about this turning into Leftist PizzaGate shit.

There is like a 0.1% he's alive in Israel based on the evidence I've currently seen.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 57 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Like I'm a little worried about this turning into Leftist PizzaGate shit.

I think the difference between leftists exploring Epstein stuff and fascists doing Qanon stuff is that we don't need it. This case doesn't fill any void in my life and I don't feel like a gumshoe about to uncover the grand plot. Dead, alive, homicide or suicide- his fate is completely arbitrary to me. It's a conspiracy where my default position is kind-vladimir-ilyich and the only meaningful thing to gain from investigating it is a larger list of names.

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

This case doesn't fill any void in my life and I don't feel like a gumshoe about to uncover the grand plot.

I'd be careful cuz I'm sure some of these PizzaGate cranks started out the same way. They were just channers trolling till they talked themselves into their own bullshit.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago (4 children)

don't work yourself into a shoot

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[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago

Ya i made a post musing about being careful not to drive ourselves insane with epstein conspiracies. As the other commenter mentioned, we don’t actually need these conspiracies to prove our worldview. Although mentioning them in brief can potentially be a good propaganda tool at an individual level, perhaps.

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago

To me this smells more like a coverup of an assassination, but I moved on to the actual living pedophiles.

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Personally I don't think it's likely, but that 4chan post being linked to the IP of an actual guard working at the facility at the time, and possibly this means that skepticism and arguing the possibility aren't illogical positions

Imo speculation is fine even good, as long as people don't over focus on it, and make it their whole personality, and all they talk about which is one of the many problems with QAnoners/Pizzagaters

Ten years from now...

"CIA admits to joint operation with Mossad that included faking Epstein's death and spiriting him back to Little St. James Island, where he rides around in a golf cart in disguise"
[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I don't see what there is to worry about, we can't do shit about it and it affects nothing we do.

[–] Moss@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

You should very much be worried about having an incorrect analysis. If communists have neither power nor a correct analysis, we have literally nothing

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[–] Nacarbac@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yeah, it's like a leftist ghost story about the Great Man who escaped death to personally dab on us.

It's his role as an agent and facilitator for Power that mattered, not himself. It would be injust for him to be alive - but so what! What a tiny thing! Does anything change with or without him?

Can it be proven, proven? Does it lend authenticity, trust, reliability, to the leftist perspective? No! There is arguing over the flaccidity of a fucking earlobe!

Raise the possibility, fine. Enjoy a little speculation. But without evidence, real evidence treated dispassionately, there must be no solid conclusions. What Is To Be Done doesn't change one bit, so incorporating weak arguments only dissipates energies. And thus Power wrings some more use out of him.

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[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 73 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

It's more likely they faked the autopsy report in my opinion than Epstein being alive. Imagine they go to the coroner and say "make a believable autopsy report for Epstein. No you cannot see the body." So the coroner just writes a typical report not knowing a detail like this. It feels way more likely. But who knows, if the coroner never saw the body then he could be dead or alive. Just no way to know. But all this really proves is that the report was faked. Which is interesting but it doesn't necessarily prove anything else.

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 55 points 1 day ago

Or "Here's the report that you're signing."

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 36 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yeah possible. One way or another the autopsy report does not match the fact that he doesn't have a prostate.

I think I'm on the side of "he's alive in Israel" though.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Would be funny if he got killed in one of the Iranian missile strikes

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 23 points 1 day ago

Curb theme plays

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[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If they were manufacturing a fake autopsy report to support the case for a hanging death then why would they mention a broken hyoid bone which is typical of strangulation?

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[–] bloopything@hexbear.net 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The testes are unremarkable

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[–] hollowmines@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

the second quoted text is obviously describing a hypothetical. many of you need to log off I'm afraid.

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

Lol I will never log off

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 34 points 1 day ago (8 children)

That third link doesn't claim Epstein had his prostate removed, they're discussing a hypothetical

[–] companero@hexbear.net 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And the first one is a blurb from a bloodwork report where they explain the ranges. I don't think labs have access to your full medical history.

[–] hotcouchguy@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

And also the PSH is clearly still in the normal range, contradicting the blurb above it. (Unless the tests were before/shortly after that operation? In which case the topic would probably appear more in the emails, considering the date)

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[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I wonder if they were just too grossed out by the idea of inspecting Epstein's prostate and just made it up.

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 30 points 1 day ago

he "kills himself," intelligence goons immediately walk out with the body, coroner signs or is ordered to fabricate this report. that would be my best guess.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 32 points 1 day ago (4 children)

His ass alive in Tel Aviv and playing Fortnite

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 30 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I was still skeptical but it's really really fucking hard to stay skeptical when things like organs that shouldn't be there exist.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 28 points 1 day ago
[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

The photo comparisons of Epstein dead vs. alive (if accurate) had me wondering

NSFW dead body

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 38 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Okay, I'm maybe gonna argue against doing this kind of shit in leftist spaces unless it's explicitly satirical.

This is Channer conspiracy shit, these 100% could be the same guy just with photos taken in different contexts.

Like if we wanna discuss shit about Epstein focus on the stuff we actually have strong evidence for, like his Mossad connections, or the unclear sources of his money.

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Sometimes conspiracies are real, especially when they involve the ruling class

The motherfuckers are telling us this corpse is of a man with completely different features and organs he didn't have

At this point the more absurd belief is that there isn't a conspiracy involved

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (10 children)

so there's an even deeper conspiracy that this guy was smuggled out to.... where? where he will never again be able to see the light of day because if anyone ever saw him the whole jig is up again!

doesn't make any sense. why would anyone dare risk that, especially when presumably the whole reason is to keep all of his shit hidden and quiet, which didn't happen and is out in the open now

edit: i'm shocked that this many people buy into this.. wow.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

so there's an even deeper conspiracy that this guy was smuggled out to.... where?

Israel

why would anyone dare risk that

Because Israel wants its operatives to know they've got their back no matter what despicable shit they're doing for Israel. They want them to know they will not be abandoned by Israel, even when imprisoned. It keeps them from turning to save their own skin.

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm sure Israel kills its operatives all the time. Pretty much all big intelligence agencies do.

Even in Israel he'd have to keep his head real fucking low.

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It's CIA/Mosad, we can't trust anything they say or do. Pics can be fabricated, decoy dead bodies could be used, reports can be faked, etc. ad nauseum.

We don't need further proof that the ruling class are vile freaks and they're dabbing on us. Faked his death or not, doesn't change the material reality that we're being ruled over by demons, and their crimes are being exposed more and more every day.

Sooner or later the dam will break, don't let their hyper reality panopticon distract you from materialist analysis and what is to be done.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I honestly don't think most of us have seen enough dead bodies to know what happens to a body when a person dies

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[–] microfiche@hexbear.net 19 points 1 day ago (7 children)

the ear alone is enough to make me wonder.

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[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 25 points 1 day ago

Honey, it's time for your daily dose of existential dread!

Yes, dear... rust-darkness

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