People throughout the world are delighted by Santa Claus, a jolly old man who distributes presents to good kids. But little do people know that this is a culmination of machinations by the CIA spanning decades to rehabilitate a man charged with war crimes and drug trafficking.
Santa Claus is the latest nom de guerre of Hans Klaus. While Klaus's early life is shrouded in mystery due to subsequent coverup by the CIA, Klaus was believed to be born in Germany during the 1900s where he quickly joined the Nazi Party as an industrialist manufacturing coke-infused carbonated beverages for the SS. Proudly touted as the youngest industrialist to employ concentration camp slave labor, Herr Klaus had his first setback when the Red Army destroyed his factories in Nazi-occupied Europe.
US intelligence, fearing that the secrets of coke-infused beverages would fall to the Soviets, quickly ferried Klaus to the US under Operation Paperclip. There, Klaus would adopt the first of many pseudonyms. His pseudonym while living in the US was believed to be Nikolai Petrovich. Klaus, posing as a Soviet dissident, would have his first taste in producing propaganda, which he would put into great use later in his life when suspicions of being behind the JFK assassination begin to hound him.
While being part of an operation to set up a reconnaissance base in the North Pole to spy on the Soviets, the CIA-led time discovered a secret society of elves. The CIA wasted no time in staging a coup to overthrow the elven government. Klaus was selected to rule over the elves as a puppet leader on behalf of the CIA. Leveraging Klaus's previous experience in making coke beverages and employing slave labor, the elves were forced into slavery where they begin making cocaine. The quality of elf cocaine proved to be legendary and within a decade, Klaus has his grubby hands in almost every single major drug trafficking operation in the world.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that Klaus lives in the North Pole when his main base of operations is really in Argentina. Using connections from the Nazi diaspora living there. Klaus began building what would become a virtually impregnable fortress in Argentina. The drug lord fortress, fit for a drug lord king like Klaus, is rumored to include a nuclear bunker and houses an entire regiment of Klaus's private army.
Klaus eventually adopted the name and identity "Santa Claus" after the assassination of JFK. While definite connections between Klaus and the assassination of JFK are still murky, rumors swirl of Klaus being the mastermind behind the JFK assassination after scholars discover a previously undiscovered recording where JFK clearly stressed the need to begin an offensive against Christmas. It is believed Klaus adopted the Santa Claus persona in an attempt to simultaneously rehabilitate the image of Christmas and to stimulate the US domestic economy through Christmas-induced consumerism.
In a post-October 7th world, the counter is simply "so where are the goddamn bodies then?" It takes less than a minute to find hundreds of photos and videos of Palestinian kids with their brains falling out of their blown off skulls and Palestinians carrying bags of viscera of what's left of their murdered relatives. Xinjiang is more than 4500 times larger than Gaza, so there should be around 4k more footage of genocide in Xinjiang if there was an actual genocide.
"B-b-but cultural genocide" Cultural genocide always follows or is concurrent with genocide genocide because people never willingly surrender their culture without putting up a fight first, which means the people most able to put up a fight have to be exterminated first in order for cultural genocide to actually work. So where are the goddamn bodies then?
"B-b-but seeseepee surveillance state" More than the Zionist entity being a surveillance state itself and pioneer of surveillance technology? The Zionist entity has completely surrounded Gaza as an open prison, which is very easy to do when Palestinians are crammed into a rectangle that's only 365 km^2. Nothing goes in or out without the Zionist entity's knowledge (except for paragliders apparently lmao) and yet we still see footage of dead Palestinians every day. So where are the goddamn bodies then?