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this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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so there's an even deeper conspiracy that this guy was smuggled out to.... where? where he will never again be able to see the light of day because if anyone ever saw him the whole jig is up again!
doesn't make any sense. why would anyone dare risk that, especially when presumably the whole reason is to keep all of his shit hidden and quiet, which didn't happen and is out in the open now
edit: i'm shocked that this many people buy into this.. wow.
Israel
Because Israel wants its operatives to know they've got their back no matter what despicable shit they're doing for Israel. They want them to know they will not be abandoned by Israel, even when imprisoned. It keeps them from turning to save their own skin.
I'm sure Israel kills its operatives all the time. Pretty much all big intelligence agencies do.
Even in Israel he'd have to keep his head real fucking low.
If the israelis were happy to kill Bob Maxwell, why not Jeff
The Hannibal Doctrine country wants its agents to know that it will put itself at massive risk to keep them alive?
Soldiers do not get the same value calculation as intelligence operatives performing sex crimes and blackmail at an international scale for the state.
I'm still in the "intelligence agencies will unceremoniously liquidate assets who have outlived their usefulness and have become a liability" camp, so if they did whisk him out of jail, it's to liquidate him at a black site where no one knows where he is. Why would they want to kill him and bury his body in an unmarked grave? It's to liquidate him in a gruesome torturous fashion, presumably to serve as an example for assets who have become liabilities.
They don't need Epstein to be alive. They just need to think Epstein is still alive. Mossad isn't going to bring Epstein out to shake hands with prospective agents to show that he's still alive. It's going to be through rumors like "I've heard that Epstein is still having coke parties at Tel Aviv." Those rumors don't require Epstein to be physically alive though.
Perhaps this is the real conspiracy: they liquidate Epstein at his cell so he wouldn't squeal and they fake enough discrepancies (autopsies with anatomical inconsistencies, edited postmortem photos to make it look like it's not him) to push a "Epstein is still alive" narrative that both gives Mossad agents cope that they aren't disposable tools and discredits the idea that intelligence agencies were behind his death ("saying the CIA killed Epstein is a conspiracy theory like how Epstein is still alive.").
if the body switching whatever shit everyone is talking about here is even remotely true, then this would be the most plausible explanation to me
Yeah, I already consider myself to have kind of a pessimistic attitude about HB and this shit just makes me sad. It's pathetic and I thought people were at least better than this but they are literally at sub-Hasan levels of ability to analyze this.
How would that work?
"Hello, officer? I saw someone who looked like Jeffrey Epstein!"
"This is huge news! I will call the Justice Department. This will be the top story in every newspaper!"
These photos have been floating around the web, and they could very well be fakes. In fact, I'd bet they probably are fakes, but their existence proves that photos are not convincing proof in this day and age.
If he really were still alive and were, for example, arrested (again) for something, he would almost certainly have a new furbished identity and the associated documentation. The real Jeffrey Epstein was confirmed to have multiple passports from different countries.
What kind of argument is this? "Fake photos mean that photographic evidence means nothing"? Even with fake pictures, if they convincingly have a date and time you will get people to investigate it in a story as big as this one, and what matters aren't a couple of contextless photos but what people are able to dig up when pointed in a specific direction.
If the dude has been captured, you can't just use a fake ID as a magic ticket to not be identified. He's still the same organism, there are countless ways of identifying him based on existing evidence in a situation like that.
Plastic surgery and a beard are not that hard
He could be pretty much anywhere outside the US with a beard and, if he really wants to be careful, some makeup. He's just a normal looking white dude, no one's going to be looking at him that closely.
Seriously. He looks just like my 10th grade math teacher, Mr. Jeff!
Wait you didn't go to High School in NYC in the 70s did you?
Statistically speaking, I could have
What if they thought, ‘surely, killing him would be so unbelievable everyone would be on our ass’?