Funniest shit ever

The posturing in the western media is shocking. I’ve taken to reading the Israeli opposition daily Haaretz in order to get some sort of balance.

For instance, this morning the NYT and Guardian headlines are screaming about “U.S. officials” warning Israel of an imminent Iranian attack. This same morning, Haaretz reports the opposite — that U.S. officials are warning Iran of imminent Israeli preemptive attacks.

After the attack on Beirut that murdered Hezbollah leader Nasrallah the NYT and Guardian claimed that only 7 to 11 people were killed when 6 apartment blocks were pancaked. The same day Haaretz reported that official IDF sources claimed that over 300 had been killed.

Haaretz has published strong reporting on October 7 as a “mass Hannibal” involving the slaughter of hundreds of mostly socialist and/or secular Israelis at the hands of the IDF. U.S. media has yet to even examine even the possibility of a “mass Hannibal.”

Haaretz is a proudly Zionist publication operating under heavy wartime censorship! Americans are treated like mushrooms: kept in the dark and fed pschitt. I don’t believe anything published by U.S. media about the ongoing genocide in Palestine. It’s WMD’s on steroids.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2024/10/john-mearsheimer-is-not-very-impressed-with-israels-shock-and-awe-campaign-against.html#comment-4109344

I’m not saying this is always the case, but the fact that it’s the case at all is fucking insane.

Good job porky. Kill yourselves

Something that has an app for both iOS and Winsh*t, etc

Apple, Microsoft, Sony…it’s cool to hate them but can we please direct some fucking ire to this absolute pinnacle of piece of shittery that’s always on the frontier of the shittiest business practices in all things IT?

How has this compamy escaped a class action lawsuit by the entire population of the world?

I swear to fucking God. I know none of you will believe me. The story of how and where i found it is equally unbelievable. But please…comrades, nothing might be happening right now but watch the news starting tomorrow to see how the butterfly has been set in motion.

Here’s what’s going to happen:

Events will take place tomorrow that will immediately spell doom for the US in its trade war with China, providing the latter with over a trillion in forex reserves. These funds will accelerate a major component of China’s generational plans by the way of financial aid to one country: Venezuela. This investment will restore all of Venezuela’s refineries and in turn, maximize its natural gas production capacity to make it the world’s greatest exporter of energy. The entirety of South America now has full access to cheap energy, and Venezuela’s soft power begins to dominate every latin American country, causing revolutions all over the continent (yes, even in Arg*ntina).

That’s all I can reveal.

Now, let me get to how I know this and the actual communism button:

I entered the subway station at 4:37 pm today. I saw the station clerk behind his desk gesticulating wildly at me. Confused I asked him ‘what’s up?’. Wide eyed he tells me, ‘come here’. I walk behind his desk to find a small red button labeled ‘touch when man in white spandex and clown shoes approaches at 4:27 pm’.

I look at my phone to check the time. I’m stunned. What is going on? I ask him if this is a joke. He says, ‘I thought it was when I clocked into work today…until you arrived.’

‘…Are you going to press the button?’

He does it.

His computer screen instantly changes from Windows 13 or whatever the fuck to KDE. The terminal opens, and reads out the major events for the upcoming years. It signs off with ‘hasta la victoria, siempre’. Nothing at the station seemed to change. Until the next train arrival was an Amtrak that was on time.

It clicked for me. The red button, the punctuality of the Amtrak….I had just pressed the Communism button.

There is zero doubt given the evidence I mentioned. Just enjoy the ride now.

Ask me if you have any questions. Future events, etc

An absolute banger of a thread lmao

I swear to god unlike the r/cuba sub which is a complete shithole, r/puertorico is pretty much as close as it gets to being radicalized

I grow facial hair annoyingly fast and honestly, I hate how look when I’m not baby butt clean shaven. But I realize that maybe I hate my facial hair because my beard is a little patchy

I’ve heard minoxidil has been used for facial hair growth. Has anyone ever tried it?

I’ve been out of work since last year, and I need to create a company so I can list on my resume, just so I can show recruiters I’ve done things.