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this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Okay, I'm maybe gonna argue against doing this kind of shit in leftist spaces unless it's explicitly satirical.
This is Channer conspiracy shit, these 100% could be the same guy just with photos taken in different contexts.
Like if we wanna discuss shit about Epstein focus on the stuff we actually have strong evidence for, like his Mossad connections, or the unclear sources of his money.
Sometimes conspiracies are real, especially when they involve the ruling class
The motherfuckers are telling us this corpse is of a man with completely different features and organs he didn't have
At this point the more absurd belief is that there isn't a conspiracy involved
so there's an even deeper conspiracy that this guy was smuggled out to.... where? where he will never again be able to see the light of day because if anyone ever saw him the whole jig is up again!
doesn't make any sense. why would anyone dare risk that, especially when presumably the whole reason is to keep all of his shit hidden and quiet, which didn't happen and is out in the open now
edit: i'm shocked that this many people buy into this.. wow.
Israel
Because Israel wants its operatives to know they've got their back no matter what despicable shit they're doing for Israel. They want them to know they will not be abandoned by Israel, even when imprisoned. It keeps them from turning to save their own skin.
I'm sure Israel kills its operatives all the time. Pretty much all big intelligence agencies do.
Even in Israel he'd have to keep his head real fucking low.
If the israelis were happy to kill Bob Maxwell, why not Jeff
The Hannibal Doctrine country wants its agents to know that it will put itself at massive risk to keep them alive?
Soldiers do not get the same value calculation as intelligence operatives performing sex crimes and blackmail at an international scale for the state.
I'm still in the "intelligence agencies will unceremoniously liquidate assets who have outlived their usefulness and have become a liability" camp, so if they did whisk him out of jail, it's to liquidate him at a black site where no one knows where he is. Why would they want to kill him and bury his body in an unmarked grave? It's to liquidate him in a gruesome torturous fashion, presumably to serve as an example for assets who have become liabilities.
They don't need Epstein to be alive. They just need to think Epstein is still alive. Mossad isn't going to bring Epstein out to shake hands with prospective agents to show that he's still alive. It's going to be through rumors like "I've heard that Epstein is still having coke parties at Tel Aviv." Those rumors don't require Epstein to be physically alive though.
Perhaps this is the real conspiracy: they liquidate Epstein at his cell so he wouldn't squeal and they fake enough discrepancies (autopsies with anatomical inconsistencies, edited postmortem photos to make it look like it's not him) to push a "Epstein is still alive" narrative that both gives Mossad agents cope that they aren't disposable tools and discredits the idea that intelligence agencies were behind his death ("saying the CIA killed Epstein is a conspiracy theory like how Epstein is still alive.").
if the body switching whatever shit everyone is talking about here is even remotely true, then this would be the most plausible explanation to me
Yeah, I already consider myself to have kind of a pessimistic attitude about HB and this shit just makes me sad. It's pathetic and I thought people were at least better than this but they are literally at sub-Hasan levels of ability to analyze this.
How would that work?
"Hello, officer? I saw someone who looked like Jeffrey Epstein!"
"This is huge news! I will call the Justice Department. This will be the top story in every newspaper!"
These photos have been floating around the web, and they could very well be fakes. In fact, I'd bet they probably are fakes, but their existence proves that photos are not convincing proof in this day and age.
If he really were still alive and were, for example, arrested (again) for something, he would almost certainly have a new furbished identity and the associated documentation. The real Jeffrey Epstein was confirmed to have multiple passports from different countries.
What kind of argument is this? "Fake photos mean that photographic evidence means nothing"? Even with fake pictures, if they convincingly have a date and time you will get people to investigate it in a story as big as this one, and what matters aren't a couple of contextless photos but what people are able to dig up when pointed in a specific direction.
If the dude has been captured, you can't just use a fake ID as a magic ticket to not be identified. He's still the same organism, there are countless ways of identifying him based on existing evidence in a situation like that.
Plastic surgery and a beard are not that hard
He could be pretty much anywhere outside the US with a beard and, if he really wants to be careful, some makeup. He's just a normal looking white dude, no one's going to be looking at him that closely.
Seriously. He looks just like my 10th grade math teacher, Mr. Jeff!
Wait you didn't go to High School in NYC in the 70s did you?
Statistically speaking, I could have
What if they thought, ‘surely, killing him would be so unbelievable everyone would be on our ass’?
It's CIA/Mosad, we can't trust anything they say or do. Pics can be fabricated, decoy dead bodies could be used, reports can be faked, etc. ad nauseum.
We don't need further proof that the ruling class are vile freaks and they're dabbing on us. Faked his death or not, doesn't change the material reality that we're being ruled over by demons, and their crimes are being exposed more and more every day.
Sooner or later the dam will break, don't let their hyper reality panopticon distract you from materialist analysis and what is to be done.
I honestly don't think most of us have seen enough dead bodies to know what happens to a body when a person dies
Can you provide evidence that it is normal for a person's nose to completely change shape immediately after they die? Personally I've never seen evidence of that and common sense tells me that it isn't true.
if you strangle someone and drop them on their face that could change the nose shape
I have no clue because I have not seen many dead bodies before and after death and neither have you
"I have no clue what I'm talking about, but I'm going to assert it as fact anyway"
What are you claiming I am asserting as fact?
Okay but this could also be just a paperwork fuck up.
Are you doing a bad bit? What are the statistics for paperwork fuck ups that accidentally add organs that shouldn't be there? They literally described his prostate as "slightly and diffusely enlarged"?
We are talking about an American hospital here.
Fair point
As long as the discussion isn't promoting harm to marginalized groups I don't see the problem.
Would you feel the same if I were comparing photos of the Brian Thompson murder suspect and Luigi Mangione to suggest that the police framed the wrong guy?
Some conspiracy theories are ridiculous because they break the laws of physics. The notion that an intelligence agency could fake the death of an asset is not one of them; it only seems beyond the pale because it requires a major shift in our established worldviews. If Epstein were some low level mobster in a case that nobody had heard about, I doubt we'd bat an eye at the proposition of similar shenanigans. But because he's a world class villain who has loomed large in politics for decades, a major shift in the narrative triggers the backfire effect.
Assets are supposed to be disposable though. The hierarchy is case officers > handlers > assets. I think Maxwell is the handler, owning to her closer ties to intelligence through her father, while Epstein is simply an asset. The other convincing argument for this relationship is the fact that the handler is still alive while the asset has been liquidated. Epstein, like all assets who have outlived their usefulness, becomes the fall guy.
You can see this pattern in other cases. For the Oklahoma City bombing, McVeigh and his accomplice driver were disposable assets while John Doe 2 their handler has connections with West German intelligence. And after the bombing happened, McVeigh and the driver were left to rot while the feds tried to erase all existence of John Doe 2 like confiscating security camera footage in surrounding buildings that would've definitively proven the existence of John Doe 2. McVeigh got executed with lethal injection while John Doe 2 got flown out of the US by a pilot working for the CIA. There are levels to this.
Intelligence agencies could fake a death but they also could and do post fake shit online to confuse people or control narrative. Remember when the intelligence agencies said he killed himself? Then we said that they killed him because the hyoid bone stuff and his brother had beef with the medical examiner? They paid for a second autopsy? Now we're saying that same intelligence agency didn't kill him but faked his death. How can Epstein be too dangerous to let live but also too valuable to kill? Materially it can only be one answer. He has one place within the organization of capital and the whole point of all this was to examine that. He can't be in two places at once. Either he was a liability to the larger organization of intelligence blackmail, a medium to large cog in a larger machine or he's the absolute center of it all and his success can't be replicated.
Undermining our ability to reasonably assess what's going on with the US and Israel should be regarded as equivalent to promoting such harm for obvious reasons.