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submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by FuckyWucky@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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[-] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 66 points 6 months ago
[-] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 51 points 6 months ago

He's 100% going to say some hitler-detector freeze-gamer shit when this implant fails and the person who got it has some serious issues from it

[-] Graphite22@hexbear.net 46 points 6 months ago

"It appears the subject is now woke..."

[-] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Screaming about how the test subject was contaminated because they had been vaccinated

[-] blakeus12@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago

saving this for when you're right

[-] mustGo@hexbear.net 16 points 6 months ago

Search+replace Monkey/Human in the statement about how the monkeys they picked were weak and near death anyway and probably died from other stuff.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 40 points 6 months ago
[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 36 points 6 months ago

The difference is in worlds like resident evil the logs are kept hidden because the corpo or megalomaniac doesn't want the world to know their secrets but irl Musk could give a fuck, he'll kill someone live on air and say "BAZINGA!"

[-] ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 6 months ago

These past few months have reminded us that reality is far worse than fiction. They don't have to hide the evidence, as that would suggest they take outcry as a real metric. In reality they suppress and bomb the outcry.

[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 31 points 6 months ago

There shouldn't be any living human beings willing to let Elon do this to them.

But I guess that's a problem that kind of takes care of itself.

[-] sovietknuckles@hexbear.net 25 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I hope they remember to take out the lithium battery before it starts leaking/expanding/exploding

[-] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago

Peter Gabriel’s “Shock the Monkey” playing in the background

[-] Magician@hexbear.net 21 points 6 months ago

Imagine being one of the doctors who performed this surgery. Like they had to know how sketchy this was.

I don't want it to just be the money that allowed those people to go through with this, but clearly it is.

I'm sitting here without a medical degree and I see all of the failed technology made by Bootleg Tony Stark and I would never dream of putting one of those things into another living creature. That no oversight committee has stepped in to stop this is a reflection of just how fucked up things are.

Capitalism makes monsters of us all.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago

Like they had to know how sketchy this was.

"Perhaps you need to find another surgeon for this procedure."

"Doctor, if you do the procedure - I have been authorized to offer you two Tesla Model X, Specials gratis. One for you and one for you husband. In your favorite colors."

"There is no Tesla Model X, Special."

"There is. We do not make that information public. If we sold them - they'd cost approximately $500,000 each."

"Hmm...."

[-] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

I'm not in the medical field and don't really know how all that certification or licensing works but: I have to imagine this doctor was probably a lot like the guys who trained troops to resist interrogation that they eventually pulled to go work at Abu Gharib.

IE: This was a guy fucking desperate to do mad scientist unconstrained from ethical concerns who fucking leaped at the chance.

[-] Raebxeh@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago
[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago

He really pulls of the mad scientist look.

[-] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago

Or maybe Dr spaceman from 30 rock

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 19 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

On one hand, this is absolutely inhumane and is going to get people killed. On the other hand, the people lining up to bazinga their brains are mostly going to be Musk-adoring techbros. Probably going to be a horror show, but at least it'll be kinda funny.

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 16 points 6 months ago

Was this even a volunteer? Or was it a prisoner?

[-] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 15 points 6 months ago

It was almost certainly a disabled person, given Musk's stated goals and our history of doing medical experimentation on vulnerable people.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

I don't think we know, looks like the only information we actually have is Muskrat's tweet.

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago

Vague post that could mean anything or be an outright lie

[-] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 13 points 6 months ago

Lawnmower Man is becoming reality before our very eyes

[-] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 13 points 6 months ago

Yes the subject freaked out and killed several lab assistants while ranting like Robin Williams on speed, but that's just what progress looks like.

[-] principalkohoutek@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

Can't wait until the subject bites his fingers off

[-] IceWallowCum@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

"Neuron spike detection" means literally nothing. But this is a promising one, though!

[-] Dalek@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

There was an old English series called Chimera in the mid 80s. Reminds me of that.

(actually just realised it was 1991)

this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse

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