If that's not enough
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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When I need to eat but don't want to put in any effort: half a cup of rice, half a cup of lentils, two cups stock (I use veggie stock, but you can use chicken, beef, etc.) Season with whatever you have in your spice drawer that looks good. Bring the water to a boil then lower the heat to low and let it simmer covered for 20-ish minutes. It's bland but filling, lentils provide protein, it's ready in less time than it would take to get delivery, and you don't have to watch it. Rice and lentils will keep in your cabinet forever. You can get stock paste or boullion that keeps a long time too.
You can still have two beers, but now you're not drinking on an empty stomach.
Your "no effort" meal, sounds like a lot of effort to me.
My low effort meal is "open packet, put ready meal in oven or microwave"
This is low effort and cheap and relatively healthy compared to those microwave dinners though, a big bag of rice and lentils doesn't cost much and is shelf stable for a year easily
Massively cheaper and almost certainly better for you, yes - but arguably not as low effort as "beep beep beep, ping".
The effort is in learning how to do it the first time. Though arguably that may be one of the greatest culinary achievements/contributions from the US food industry that comes to mind is the hardly canny ability for these food manufacturers to come up with a food that can not only be served in little plastic packet shaped packs, but have those packets reheat in “Approx. 60 seconds” in 8/9ths of all the microwaves in around and in use at that time, after I have taken the time to consider / have to learn the hard way [1] , how tough (another unintended pun this time) reheating meat or breads could be in high power models with numerous modes, which are suggested to be used in order to heat certain types/shapes/consistencies of some common food object types. (shoutout to the models without the popcorn button, but with a “Potato” setting, with no other words aside from the weight input selection).
[1] I once microwaved a pop-tart for 2 minutes when the toaster wasn’t working as a kid, for reference of where I had been starting from. Worst looking pop-tart ever afterwards, completely unrecoverable smoking hole in the middle of the thing after I came back into the kitchen blissfully unaware that I had blasted it waay too much (in retrospect, at least I knew/had been taught to remove the foil wrapper…)
:D lil more than recommended
^Pop-Tarts 3sec microwave guideline
You can make a lot and then freeze most things without much degradation of quality and then beep beep, ping the servings.
What you're saying isn't untrue, but if I'm drunk I shouldn't be in control of fire.
Put the rice and lentils in a packet. You could also make this in a microwave. A rice cooker would work too.
This is easier than mac and cheese from a box.
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As a depressed person myself this a big part of my diet.
Can I suggest putting some frozen kale or spinach in it as well? For extra veggies and taste. We basically cook that every week and I love it. Granted, I put a tad more effort into it (stir fry onion and garlic and tomato paste before I add rice, lentils, greens and broth) but it's basically the same.
Also try adding soy sauce, smoked paprika, and liquid smoke. Just a drop but it does wonders. Yeast flakes are also great.
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I am 35. I will absolutely regret this.
Im in my 40s. Two beers is not enough for regret... But regret is normally the reason for two beers.
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You're not a true beer connisuer unless you wake up positively shaking with excitement about having your next beer.
I drink two beers in the morning, I drink two beers at night, I drink two beers in the afternoon, and then I feel alright!
I drink two beers in times of peace, and two in times of war; I drink two beers before I drink two beers, and then I drink two more!
My friends say I have a drinking problem. A drinking problem! What drinking problem? I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!
A 40 ounce to freedom is the only chance I have to feel good, even though I feel bad
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The only acceptable substitution is 30-40 olives
Hold my beer, going back for more olive.
400-600 calories. Decent nutrition and plenty of hydration. Dinner of champions.
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People stop at 2?
A banana and a big handful of peanuts is a meal.
Add a porter or a stout and it's a 3 course dinner.
Bananenweizen if you’re efficient
Drei bier ist auch ein schnitzel und dann hast du nichts getrunken.
Three beers are also a schnitzel and then you drank nothing.
I don't speak German, but this phrase spoke to me.
A bucket of milk with some coffee and a lot of sugar is a great breakfast! You'll have great shits, too, especially if you combine it with the beer-only dinner!
Interestingly, the calorie counts on food packaging are derived from the Atwater system (and later modifications) that estimate digestible calories from the amount of fat, protein and carbohydrates in each food item. These numbers are based on experimental research on food substitution and weight loss/gain done in the late 1800s and early 1900s. The calorie counts for alcohol are similarly based on the measurable amount of alcohol in each drink, except that the number used (7 kcal per g) was just a complete guess on Atwater's part since they couldn't do equivalent substitution experiments involving booze.
They are called "glazen bokes" here, glass sandwiches.
A trick as old as sumer
When i was in my 20s people always asked me how I stayed so skinny. "Have you tried being poor and being an alcoholic?"
I think I've tried this one before.
I cast acceleratum ulceratia!
As long as they're not very bitter, 2 isn't too bad. Bitter ales like IPAs give me a headache
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