hansolo

joined 2 days ago
[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 hour ago

As long as there's 1 liter of ranch dressing per leaf of lettuce, Jesus will allow it.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 7 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Southern Baptists? I think you left out all their other usual targets: Catholics, spicy food, jazz, orgasms for fun, bright colors not associated with flags or maybe a football team, female orgasms, singing, alcohol, drag shows, salads with less than 51% mayonnaise content, men using umbrellas, single mothers, showing people kissing on TV or movies, Jews, Muslims, really any brown person, wasabi, mangoes, and aged cheese.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 1 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

F. This will be moved to an OSINT tool within a week, and scraped into a darkweb database by next Friday.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 1 points 2 hours ago

So you're saying this is the outline of a square in the astral plane? Because it sounds like you're saying this is a square in the astral plane.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 2 points 2 hours ago

Hey, I failed the highest level of calculus possible. Twice.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 16 points 5 hours ago (5 children)

....and a square has four interior 90 degree angles.

...and based on the infinite number of sides for a curved line aspect, the "90 degree" angles would all be +/- the limit as it approaches zero, so never truly 90 degrees but always an infinite fraction away.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 14 points 23 hours ago

In 1282 AD, an accord followed the disaster later recounted as the Pied Piper of Hamelin myth, in which a warg working with the demonic entity we now call the "Tooth Fairy" walked 200 children off a cliff simply to collect their fresh teeth to fuel their evil orgies. Duke Albert II of Saxony hired a shaman and witch to force a détant with the demon as a response. After some haggling, which cost one advisor his jaw, the demon agreed to effectively scavenge from the local townspeople in the night in exchange for a ceremonial pittance, often a handful of grain or a piece of fruit.

The demon, now overwhelmed by the sheer volume of teeth lost on a daily basis by 7.5 billion people, is doing great 750 years later, playing the long game to success.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 1 points 23 hours ago

Even under the GDPR, an employer can monitor you camera, mic, and keystrokes of they really want on a work device.

Seriously, no one is entitled to unlimited personal use, and explicit trust, of a work device. It's a work-owned device, it's not your shit! This isn't hard. They give you the same "click/sign here" for a use policy that any social media site gives you (900 pages shorter). No one should be upset by this unless they are already behind the curve in general, or are pushing fake outrage.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 11 points 1 day ago

I can't help you other than to say MSI is awesome. I wish you luck on your quest.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago

Also taking gas station pills full of burdock root because you think you might have a drug test.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 63 points 1 day ago (11 children)

Pell Grants helped me get a degree that increased my income, made my life better, and made me a better, taxpaying American.

-Actual client testimonial.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago

Like, today?

It's a bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off.

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