Chapotraphouse

It won’t be as anywhere coherent as many here are suggesting. Expect extreme Hollywood stupidity, a grimdark Batman/Robin Hood who brutally kills the Sheriff's men but in an over-stylized speed-up and slow-down way like in 300 or The Matrix. Evil King John will be weirdly steampunk and actually working for Saladin to kill good King Richard and communicating through a clockwork magic portal thing. Robin is forced to murder the Merry Men to find and kill King John, but just when he arrives John pulls a giant chain that makes the portal grow. Then you’ll hear Hollywood middle eastern music as hordes of saracens led by King Richard pour out. Robin Hood will realize just as he kills King John that John was right and he has to close the portals and send Richard back, but England needs to believe in a good King so he does this while sacrificing himself to preserve the myth of the good King Richard the Lionheart.

Actually he was no angel 'cause he caused a lot of trouble for the burgher class and they were just simple small business owners

Indeed, he was not just a hero, he was a

Ned Ludd of Nottingham is seeing a revival as an anti-capital folk hero and suddenly we start seeing anti-robinhood propaganda

i hope they get hugh "huge jacked man" jackman down to like 3% body fat and so dehydrated we can see individual capilaries pulsing on his biceps while he draws the bow.

i also hope they make RH ultraviolent and completely lacking in civility and moderation in his class war against the rich--meant to be an example of why we must remember the humanity of billionaires--backfiring and encouraging only more loathing.

like how the true way to watch The Dark Knight Rises is as though its being remembered by an unreliable narrator and its really a tragic story about a hero named Bane.

I want it to be like the Romeo and Juliet from the 90s with John Leguizamo, where it’s all modernized.

Robin Hood is rocking an AR-15 and running crypto scams.

Don't you know the rich people he stole from had SONS AND DAUGHTERS? Don't you know the cops/soldiers he killed had WIVES AT HOME? Won't someone please think of the "good" people who are suffering and ignore the "bad" people who are suffering?

Ngl I find Robin Hood endlessly fascinating because there is a folk hero buried in there that actually slaps, but it's so hard to make it work in a way that is historically convincing i.e. how does 'rob from the rich, give to the poor' work under feudalism? Disney squared the circle by making it a story about the evils of taxing peasants of their (checks notes)... gold coins, and the sad thing is that's basically as close as anyone has come to getting it right. Maybe after the revolution we'll get a decent Robin Hood adaptation idk

cut to: idyllic fail daughter washing feet of peasants, and teaching them to read

cut to: she travels through the forest and stops to save a deer in a bear trap

cut to: dirty men descend on her and steal her jewelry and leave her naked in forest

cut to: they celebrate and drink in some cave

cut to: fail daughter shivers in the forest and fights wolves with a stick

cut to: beggar comes for some money and they tell them to get lost

cut to: grizzled sheriff saves her and says enuff is enuff

..

cut to faildaughter says to father not to execute robin, as that will make them as bad as them

cut to: father says you’ ave to make tuff choices, sweetie

coming to theaters near you

idk but that British twink who does archery vids is gunna see a sizeable bump in viewership

Oh hey look, a pointlessly gritty and dark Robin Hood movie, what a novel concept! I'm sure nothing like this has been made before, and I'm sure it's something audience are absolutely clamouring for!

Stealing from the poor to give to the rich.

The same direction as all other trash american cinema.

Trash propaganda movie, we already know he rises, and rises again until lambs become lions.

My name is Robin Antifa Hood and I am stealing from the rich because I envy them and their protestant work ethic. I will die because I chose violence over debate. The wealthy will surround me and cry for my soul, with close-ups on their faces so that everyone knows they're sad someone has to suffer.

ah see in this one it's King John the first of France

King John Un

We gonna get a robin hood adaptation more unfaithful than the one where bows are treated as M4A1

He was an evil person stealing from the rich

Will no one think of Prince John's PROPERTY?!

Robin Hood will turn out to be alive, echoing Princess Bride ("Only mostly dead") and Thieves of the Wood (aka "De Bende Jan de Licht," where the eponymous Robin Hood-like hero is assumed dead only to come back foe the last act).

~~It may come in 2 parts including something like "The Rise of Robin Hood" if Hollywood has a lot.of confidence in it.~~ NM, this is an A24 movie. It's too artsy for sequels

That said, I'll wait a week and if the reviews are good, I'm watching it. I'm a sucker for Robin Hood

Sounds blasphemous.

We discover Robin Hood is an ex-crusader whose kurdish wife and daughter were killed to punish him after he switched sides, and became a double-agent working for Saladin to avenge his family; he went against King John so that he could subsequently become close to King Richard, the real target.

Unfortunately, some of the people he helped were frothing English chauvinists and turned him in. King Richard, however, sensing potential local anti-monarchial uprising as he was not convinced he could keep all the serfs in line given the promise of better material conditions with wealth re-distribution which risked destablising feudal relations, so helped seal the deal with a quiet assassination of Hood and asked the historians to re-write history to what we know of it now.

#TheMovieThatCouldHaveBeen

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Nevermind just saw Octoracy's comment.