this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2026
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[–] Orcocracy@hexbear.net 64 points 5 days ago (4 children)

It won’t be as anywhere coherent as many here are suggesting. Expect extreme Hollywood stupidity, a grimdark Batman/Robin Hood who brutally kills the Sheriff's men but in an over-stylized speed-up and slow-down way like in 300 or The Matrix. Evil King John will be weirdly steampunk and actually working for Saladin to kill good King Richard and communicating through a clockwork magic portal thing. Robin is forced to murder the Merry Men to find and kill King John, but just when he arrives John pulls a giant chain that makes the portal grow. Then you’ll hear Hollywood middle eastern music as hordes of saracens led by King Richard pour out. Robin Hood will realize just as he kills King John that John was right and he has to close the portals and send Richard back, but England needs to believe in a good King so he does this while sacrificing himself to preserve the myth of the good King Richard the Lionheart.

You know what? Fuck it. If it's a Lies of P style movie I'll watch it despite the dogshit politics.

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that Lancelot movie made some years back. God what a mess.

That said, if A24 is making it, I don't think they'll take a capeshit angle with this

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

if A24 is making it,

those assholes are supposed to making the parable of the sower movie not this

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

parable of the sower is a book about a young black woman growing up during the 2020s as america, led by MAGA President Donner, is falling apart due to climate change, political reaction and institutional decay. It's written like a journal, starting when she's a teenager and kind if just picking up on how bad things are getting even though she and her neighbors are (barely) shielded from things by living in a gated community.

It's really good for young adult fiction. It was written in 1993.

The only thing I really don't like about it is there's no mention of socialism, just the main character inventing some stupid pseudophilosophy she calls "earthseed" that can be boiled down to 1) god is change and 2) we should go to space, mannn

CW: EXTREME age gap relationship, kind of graphic descriptions of someone tortured to death, and the sequel (which I haven't read) is apparently full of sexual assault and other awful shit

Also it was supposed to be a trilogy but she stopped writing the 3rd book and wrote something else before she died.

[–] ZeroHora@lemmy.ml 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The Lancelot movie is from A24 no?

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Wait, was it?! oml

The labcelot movie felt like it was hacked together from a much better movie, and indeed, I read that there was a lot.of executive meddling that led to that absolute mess

Evil King John will be weirdly steampunk and actually working for Saladin to kill good King Richard and communicating through a clockwork magic portal thing.

Based