For me it's more low contact. Stick to the basics so they know I'm still alive and vice versa. The second they veer off into ignorant propaganda bullshit it's an immediate "Whelp, I gotta run. Bye."
I listened to some of the most ridiculous mess over the years, including my own parents telling me what I think. I would dread phone calls and visits. I would feel so many bad things after spending time with them. And yet, I was a "good" person, turned the other cheek, still showed up, all because of a sense of responsibility.
It really dawned on me that this isn't all just in my head after I brought a really good friend of mine to a holiday meal one year. I never told him anything bad about my family and never gave my personal opinion about any of my family members except the good stuff. Always positive spin. On the way home, he very directly told me "Your step-dad is not a good person." I felt that way, yes, but I didn't know I was allowed to feel that way without shame, let alone tell anybody.
A few years later, another friend of mine said something along the lines of "I don't like the way it makes you feel when you visit your parents." He could sense the change of mood and inner turmoil, even though I did my best to hide it and pretend it didn't exist.
Final straw was really when I was told "we can't afford to pay for your job anymore" after my DOGE layoff instead of an "I'm sorry" or any sign of sympathy/empathy as I would expect from anybody who cared about me (let alone supposedly loved me) in this situation -- even if they did ultimately believe it was somehow justified. I was already teetering on the edge after the previous visit where I was told that Christians are the most persecuted group of people in America and I was wrong for disagreeing.
