It's a trap. Like in the famous documentary, 'The Santa Clause', if you examine the crash site the drivers body will disappear and YOU will become the Door Dasher, and be required to fulfill all of their commitments.
this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
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the dasher delivering your flowers to the previous dasher's hospital room, has gotten into an accident
"your Dasher has died in a collision but here's a pin drop in the chance you can collect your order from the wreckage"
"sEnD fLoWeRs tO yOuR dAsHeR's hOsPiTaL rOoM" 💀
I wonder what % of people seeing this think it's real? People really gotta keep an eye on the community and understand what shitposting means
I mean, I saw the community, yet I had to think of it.
It's “nottheonion” adjacent.
Honestly, online service platforms have come up with so many odd and manipulated behavioural patterns they shove down their customers' throat as long as it makes them money...
If an A/B test actually showed that offering to pick up your food from a traffic accident site led to better customer satisfaction outcomes than just cancelling the order I seem them doing this 100%
Regardless of if it's real or not. I wouldn't even fucking bat one eye at doordash for doing something like this.
But no one using doordash would ever go and actually collect the item to confirm if it's real anyways so it's moot.
0.3 what away from me? Miles? Kilometers? Meters? Units matter - I'm not driving to the other side of town just to pick up a bloody pizza.
0.3 volleyballs away
If you can't be bothered to step out of your comfort zone and travel .3 AU to pick up your food, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you want the crippled driver to spoon feed it to you.
(/s, obviously)
bloody pizza
It said it might be damaged. We don't know how bad the accident was and how much blood was involved
Obviously nautical miles
0.3 Hamburgers of course!
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"Oh my god is he ok?"
"Yes your food is 50% ok!"
Is this a late stage capitalism?
👨 🫴🦋
No lats stage would have you, the person whom ordered the food, responsible for the gig workers hospital stay - as you are their employer.
Click here to begin crowdfunding your dasher's ER visit.
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I need to make sure you know this is a joke photo composed with digital tooling. You do know that, right?
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0.3 away
Away what? Apples? Eggs?
.3 of a delivery, duh.
As in, they were .7 of the way done when they crashed.
I accidentally 0.3 away. Is this dangerous?
Most well universally known measurement system is likely light years, so probably that
The SI base unit for length is the meter, so they crashed 30cm (12 inches) away from you.
Wow, and whoever posted the screenshot did nothing to help. SMHing my head.
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I hate capitalism.
"Your dasher crashed, but based on his tracking, he's still crawling towards you. This could induce some delay. If you go meet him on the way, you can get a rebate on your tipping fees!"
Double oopsie! Your driver delivering flowers to your other driver was in an accident! Would you like to deliver flowers to the driver who was delivering flowers?
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This is fake?
The real nightmare is you can't even tell anymore.
my exact feelings, I am more horrified at the fact that I am still not sure if this is fake or not (without actual fact checking ofcourse)
It may be the one dude that does nothing but come up with dystopian UIs
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Sir you can't be on this side of the police tape. Are you are related to the deceased?
No, but I'm just going to snag my Mickey Donalds right quick and I'll be out of your way.
Needs instructions for in person pickup.
"Your dasher wears a medical bracelet identifying his next of kin. To expedite access to the crime scene to retrieve your order (1x bagel bites, 4x lubricant and 1x grain alcohol) dash++ members can unlock this name to then pose as a direct relation when authorities ask."
I actually had this happen once. Dasher got in an accident
The app just showed his car going in circles around the point he crashed
Probably hit a fairground carousel
I'm not going outside in this weather. Especially if I have to put pants on. They should just send a second driver to pull my Arby's out of the burning wreckage and finish the delivery without me having to tell them.
The application let's you send flowers to your "dasher's" hospital room
Taking about dystopian.
We don't care about that motherfucker that damn near killed himself and inconvenienced us, but hey, that's why we do the gig thing so we don't have to insure them! But hey, YOU totally should send him flowers!
There is an artist around who spoofs the big app interfaces to make these even worse thought experiments. I'm guessing it's one of his or hers. Unfortunately I don't remember the name / handle.
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