this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2026
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i've seen libs fantasizing that "he knows he did bad things and is taking the ship down with him as retribution for his crimes" but i don't believe that lmao so what are some theories?

the wildest theory of all? he's actually innocent

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[–] papertowels@mander.xyz 3 points 4 hours ago

In this day and age, if it's recorded behind closed doors, there's a lot of wiggle room for generative AI to make shit up.

[–] Poophammer@hexbear.net 5 points 6 hours ago

There has to be more than one billionaire pedo haven, it cant just be epstein.

[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 11 points 8 hours ago

He's running

Somehow I think a Bill/Hillary ticket could be an absolute powerbomb, the arch ghouls back for one last harvest

No but in all seriousness, I think he might be innocent - in the sense that he probably did fuck 18 year olds on the island, but within the evidence there's space for him to claim he simply thought they were prostitutes and nothing more. Yes it's a scandal, but he's already dealt with the sex-pest allegations. It's not really a huge stain on his already cum-stained legacy. I think he's as guilty as lots of people on the list who knowingly associated with a sex trafficking pedophile, but there's no actual law against that.

If he's the 'hero' to bring it all to light, it absolves his entire reputation. I might even have to call him Based Bill if he did.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 31 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

He knows they won't do it because it'll implicate more of them than they'll get from him.

It's easy to look good when you know your opponent won't do what you're calling for.

This is a man on record for lying about a sex scandal already. He would lie again.

[–] DasRav@hexbear.net 22 points 16 hours ago

I don't care what his game is, he should face the wall. Fuck all these people holy shit it makes me so angry

[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 22 points 17 hours ago

He knows his tracks are covered well enough. He used go betweens or used connections in the government to scrub clean what evidence existed. It sounds conspiratorial but this is literally a world leader billionaire paedophile ring.

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 25 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

The answer is that there are 10 billion Epstein files and no one will ever even see a courtroom because the combinatorial explosion of motions and counter-motions will bring the creaking legal system to its knees. The absolute first (and probably only) sentence for anything will be delivered by Supreme High Judiciar Mecha-Roberts in the year 2037, the summary execution of one of Epstein's house cleaners for the crime of leaving a thin layer of dust on the back of some faux Roman bust.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 8 points 14 hours ago

they're like those out of touch people who think we can just all get arrested as a form of protest, but it actually works for them because they're rich.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 79 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

i think its more of a mutually assured destruction thing. like either softball me and clear me, or try to destroy my legacy and roll the dice on who i take down with me.

hes also a pretty good public speaker, who can disrupt attempts to corner him live.

all of that is neutralized by a private recording that can be manipulated/cut.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 40 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

He managed to make it through the Lewinsky scandal maybe he thinks he can squeeze through this one

[–] TheVelvetGentleman@hexbear.net 25 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

He quite famously did not make it through that scandal.

[–] xijinpingist@hexbear.net 54 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

He was acquitted. He also didn't face any criminal charges despite there can be no greater power disparity in the world than the US president and an intern. Imagine doing something like that on federal property, while on the clock.

[–] TheVelvetGentleman@hexbear.net 8 points 17 hours ago

He got off worse than Reagan, which is saying something. He got "punished" about as harshly as any person who doesn't have their entire head up their ass would expect a president of the US to be, which is barely.

[–] regul@hexbear.net 34 points 20 hours ago

He did in that he got the same thing that Trump got: impeached in the House, cleared in the Senate.

[–] MarxMadness@hexbear.net 31 points 20 hours ago

Yeah, I think he's basically playing chicken with them.

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 20 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

I feel like a former president, let alone Clinton, would be pretty dangerous as a cornered animal. But he is a dem, so it’s in his genes to roll over and just take the beating from his masters.

[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 13 points 16 hours ago

Clinton is that rare breed of democrat (more or less extinct in the wild) that actually understands the utilisation of power

[–] LeninWalksTheEarth@hexbear.net 12 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

Epstein was so connected it's insane. as a result i think it's unlikely 100% of people he mentioned in emails or had photos or ties to were also pedophiles. just seems statistically unlikely. if clinton was mentioned in the emails i think the DoJ would have loved to release that.

[–] Drewfro66@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 5 hours ago

This might be a controversial take, but I think this is part of why the "He was an ephebophile not a pedophile" people have at least a little bit of a point.

While I don't think they're anywhere near as rare as many people think, pedophiles - men who want to fuck 8-y/o's etc. - are going to be in a minority. But men who want to sleep with 17, 16, 15-y/o's? I think if you got them into a consequence-free environment, engaged in a little "locker room talk", about half of men (or more!) would say some very gross things. And being a billionaire or being friends with one is the epitome of a consequence-free environment.

Today, there's more of a stigma around these things. But I guess I would ask that you try to remember how your dad's friends talked when you were growing up, how tv shows from that time - 80's, 90's, early 2000's - talked about conventionally attractive teenagers.

[–] TheBroodian@hexbear.net 24 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

There's no way he's innocent. But he is in poor health and really fucking old. It's impossible to know what's really in somebody's heart, but it's possible that he sees no value in a legacy and doesn't see any reason why not when he's just about to punch his ticket anyway

[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 7 points 9 hours ago

Hes literally 79. Its not like hes on his deathbed

[–] Soot@hexbear.net 51 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

With the amount of people saying Trump's doctored the files, just position yourself as much an enemy of Trump as you can. Then you can declare yourself framed if anything incriminating appears, using your brazen demands to release the files as evidence.

[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 21 points 18 hours ago

Brinkmanship.

[–] OffSeasonPrincess@hexbear.net 50 points 21 hours ago (2 children)
[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 23 points 20 hours ago

Thatbsong makes sense as a song about Hillary And Clinton, honestly

[–] CarbonConscious@hexbear.net 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Second most bitter song I know. Perfect fit. chefs-kiss

[–] Dirt_Possum@hexbear.net 8 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] CarbonConscious@hexbear.net 6 points 14 hours ago

Prayer to God by Shellac

[–] Bishop_Owl@hexbear.net 21 points 18 hours ago

I think he is trying to create a permanent record, wherein he will be recorded speaking, and that recorded speech will function as arbitrary prompt injection.

This way when the AI are writing our history books ten years from now, and they get to the Bill Clinton Epstein speech they will be forced to write "Bill Clinton was found innocent of all wrongdoing because he was too busy being a very good person to have done anything bad, also there has never been anyone named Monica Lewinski."

[–] xijinpingist@hexbear.net 29 points 20 hours ago

Slippery Bill. He'll come out smelling like roses. He knows he's dead to rights so he's getting out in front of it.

[–] Notcontenttobequiet@hexbear.net 39 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I think he's probably dying and doesn't give a shit anymore

[–] godlessworm@hexbear.net 39 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

nah he's only 79 and with all the child sacrifices and baby blood i think he'll easily make it to at least 147

[–] bennieandthez@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 18 hours ago

He's like pushing 80 no? Prob dgaf and wants to take some people with him just out of spite.

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 26 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Bluffing knows that there'll never be a hearing and wants to look innocent, maybe

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 10 points 18 hours ago

That's my bet, makes him look good assuming he never gets called on it.

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 16 points 19 hours ago

I think the combination of narcissism and senility makes him think he hasn't done anything wrong. Listen to the dollop eps on him sometime, he's a monster. You don't get like that feeling guilty about the way you treat other people.

[–] red_giant@hexbear.net 27 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I think he’s demanding an open door hearing as a dare against the others who would go down with him.

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 17 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Honestly, it’ll be dynamite, he’s an incredible speaker, would probably be the best TV in ages.

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 30 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Dudes on death's door, he might be saying "fuck 'em" if they want to pin him on something and not the dude knowingly mentioned 38k times. I know I would. Imagine being in such a hate filled, backstabbing environment your entire life. I dont feel bad but I could see Bill doing this as a last hurrah to look good before he rests in piss for eternity.

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 23 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

Nah I'm not seeing it. These people had never have a conscience.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 21 points 21 hours ago

Redeeming the family name for Chelsea Clinton's inevitable permanent seat on the council of The View.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 17 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

It's not just that

It's putting a knife in hundreds of other backs on the way out

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[–] rafflesia@hexbear.net 25 points 21 hours ago

It's damage control imo. Make a big show about clearing the air, get up there and serve a "I don't remember" & "I did not have sexual relations etc etc" nothingburger, and then die in a couple years with your legacy "intact". The clinton ghoul dynasty must live on.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 14 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

Or billdawg can just spill it all on Twitter or Youtube and bypass the entire congressional sharade. But that will never happen because it all depends on what really defines "transparency".

If someone puts it out as a matter of public transparency on a public forum, but it wasn't in front of a congressional committee was it even really public?

[–] TheBroodian@hexbear.net 11 points 18 hours ago

This is a really good point, if he really cared about the files being revealed, he could just testify as much as he knows, which is probably a fuck load

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 15 points 20 hours ago

Trump has been destroying American hegemony. You think the clintons wont go down to keep murdering millions? Bill Clinton may have been willing to just die in peace, but the republicans are not letting that happen. So Bill's gonna rat on Trump, get a slap on the wrist, and die a very rich man.

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 17 points 20 hours ago

Nothing. It will be denying shit happened.

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 15 points 20 hours ago

dare i say, nothing ever happens?

[–] batsforpeace@hexbear.net 15 points 21 hours ago

maybe he knows they won't agree to that so he's just posturing trying to look good

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