Long they grow, precious, long and strong… but polished, yes. Filed smooth so they don’t snag on the rockses. Smeagol takes care of his toesies.
this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2026
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I kinda figured I wasn't the only one to think Gollum when I initially saw this, but it's good to have it confirmed with poetry such as this.
Do you just never wear shoes? O.o
Florida Special, flip-flops year round
Like, extra long flip flops? Or do the nails just poke out an inch (2.54cm) from the front?
They make a click-clack sound whey they hit the floor before the flip flop, like dog nails
Or even just socks? I can't imagine those aren't sharp enough to ruin a pair of fresh socks within a few days at most
Maybe they live in Hawaii or something. I can't imagine anyone doing this shit anywhere with snow. Though I can't imagine the suffering that stubbing your toes on furniture would inflict this lunatic. Hmm. Maybe this is a problem that will fix itself.
If it's not ai or Photoshop, they did them for the shitpost and removed them soon after, in pretty sure.
I've seen a few people with talons like this in Florida but most places it's not practical or socially acceptable to wear flip flops for all occasions and year round. You're not getting those things in normal shoes.
As someone who wore nothing but superhero flip-flops through the entirety of high school in the Great Lakes region, yeah it was neither practical nor particularly socially acceptable. But they flashed lights when I walked. I never had light-up shoes as a little kid, and these were marketed for “kids at heart” so, tradeoff. 🤷🏻
Meanwhile in Wisconsin: Frank, get the pruning shears, we got a girl who can't wear winter boots because she's got stupid feet.
Originally, long nails were a way to indicate that you could avoid manual labor long enough to grow out them out. Essentially the lawn of the hands, opulent keratin. Long toenails indicating that you never even need to walk, and that your sexual partners will die of a staph infection, are an interesting extension.
The pinkies remind me heavily of naked mole rats.
Do you think if I sucked on one it would look like I'm making out with a naked mole rat?
You guys should all party together.
I thought Pinky was a rat, but apparently he's a mouse. In either case, not a mole rat.
Also, wow, there's so much more information than I anticipated in that article.
Even Gollum cut's his nails
I think they're just worn from all the walking/climbing he did.
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This is what you see with elderly people in nursing homes. Something I wish I didn't know.
That's kinda sad. They should be taken care of.
To be fair, the nails in the pic are clearly taken care of. They're horrible, but they took effort to get like this.
A lot of elderly folks who are still living independently go to a podiatrist for nail trims since they lack the flexibility to do it themselves. This does happen in nursing homes, just not as often, especially if the person isn't capable of requesting it themselves.
ew
Shoes
Wanting to be able to walk?
😳🤮
Real life Argonian?
I already rip plenty of socks having callouses on my feet. I don't need knives on my toes cutting them more.
The expectation of shoes
Imagine stubbing your toe with nails like that. The entire toe nail will be ripped clean off.
As a proud foot fetishist, ewwwww. I ain't sucking those toes.
Harpymaxxing.
I dated her, her dinners always had the freshest fish.
"Give it to us raw and wriggling" 🤤
Would get them, just to clack them like the velociraptors in Jurassic park
Alternatively, wearing shoes.
Socks would be a nightmare.
It doesn't need socks to be a nightmare
This fish grabbing sounds like quite a useful talent.
Useful talons...
My awareness of the existence of nail clippers. My desire to interact with other members of the human race. My stairs are steep and narrow.
Bet she listens to Nelly furtado
Why do those look so damned aquatic?? Like, I joke about my wife being cold blooded, but for this person I'd believe it.
Squidward have you ever seen more lovely French tips?
imagine you're sitting on the bed with your spouse and feel her nails dragging across your back lightly.
when you turn around, it's not her fingers...but this.
how turned on are you right now?
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