this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 62 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Our society is not that different from the 15th century.

[–] Una@europe.pub 37 points 1 week ago (2 children)

We are just apes with pants

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 9 points 1 week ago (5 children)

We're apes forced to wear pants because of arbitrary rules.

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[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago

Speak for yourself. I'm naked.

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[–] Godort@lemmy.ca 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Establishing that god is ferrous or an electric field feels like it should be a heresy

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What's god going to do to stop me? Get stuck to the fridge?

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[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 32 points 1 week ago (3 children)

God is in my brain? Omg get him out of there please. I'm not a social person.

Also, does that mean he identifies god as a brain-parasite?

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I think this is how you find out you're God. Or at least should have god-like powers.How good are you at sadism and are you a cunt to your son? Do you often find yourself threatening lives to eternal torture if they don't accept your love and moral superiority while worshipping you for it? Can you do good at the click of a finger but just don't because fuck 'em, that's why?

If none of these things, try worming tablets.

the other day i said L̶̟̺̂E̵̖͂̚͜͝T̸͇̫̜̈̈́͊͗ ̵͇̻͗T̸͖̻͕͛Ḫ̴̢̰͇̈́͛̀E̸̛͖̕Ȑ̷̡̤̬͎̇̓E̴̢͎̖̣͂͗ ̸̖͇̀͗͝B̴̬̝̀̌͑͠E̵̫̙̲̣͂̍͝ ̴͎̲̑T̸̗͈͙̿̆A̶̤͍̭̰̽̀̃͂C̷̣͈̄̐̐̚Ō̸̝̣͓͗͗̌S̵̜̗̭͜͝ and lo, there were tacos

so on a scale of 1 to God, i feel about a L Ron Hubbard

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[–] PKscope@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If I had known I could make a living just telling blatant falsehoods in an angry way, my life might have turned out a lot differently.

I do enjoy being able to sleep at night, though. So maybe it all worked out for the best.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

IF WE ALL FORM A HAPPY FACE SYNBOL AT THE SOUTH END OF LAKE SUPERIOR THEN THE WORLD WILL IMPROVE.

TIRAMISU KS POISONOUS.

FROGS WILL PERMANENTLY REMOVE YOUR ABILITY TO BECOME AROUSED IF YOU LOOK THEN IN THE EYE ON A THURSDAY EVENING.

MONEY NOW!

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[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 18 points 1 week ago

Transgender God Magnets are the new Jewish Space Lasers

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 week ago

Magnets are tools of the Antifa corporations.

[–] blave@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

It’s a shame that doesn’t actually work

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 10 points 1 week ago

Give this man a nobel prize for figuring out how magnets work

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

If I knew how to use magic magnets to remove Christianity from people's heads I would have started doing it long ago

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Do they still need a doctors diagnosis to put this person into a padded cell?

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] skiguy0123@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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Fucking magnets, how do they work?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago
[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Nobody knows what magnets are. Except this guy.

[–] epicstove@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

The onion couldn't write this shit.

[–] PoopSpiderman@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I went through a powerful magnet phase. Could I just carry one around sucking god from people’s brains? What do I do with god once god has been removed? Are the magnets I have already lousy with god? I don’t think I was given an accurate description of god as a kid or something.

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Can God make a magnet so powerful that even he can't overcome it?

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

God is all powerful, yet utterly powerless to stop people from being gay and doctors from interfering with his will

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can god make a magnet so gay he wants to fuck it

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[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 week ago

Just get the magnets wet and they won't work

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Apply holy water to deactivate the magnet

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

What is he on and where can I get some?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Who told them the plan?!

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 5 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Y’all can laugh at this, but I tried it and it worked (not even trans).

Thing is, I am now stuck with this homeless god. Anyone has any idea what to do with it? Can I properly recycle it somewhere?

[–] Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

Yeah just wherever you go recycle batteries, there should be a slot for it.

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[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Trans folks 'know' how magnets work.

[–] Holyginz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Dont think he has to worry, he has no brain for anything to be sucked out of.

[–] itisileclerk@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I guess "Nobody knows what magnets are" is a thing now in US.

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[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

I think this guy heard about the god helmet, which is real, and then the delusion took over.

The helmet apparently causes religious experiences, not remove your ability to have them, but then again this guy is a fucking lunatic so.

[–] KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

This is how God rays are made, still think it's worth it?

[–] Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

TIL god is iron man.

[–] Quexotic@infosec.pub 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

2015 oof. Obviously the god killing athiest magnets didn't pan out

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[–] xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day 4 points 1 week ago

looks at my spare bag of neodymium magnets 👀

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

He must think his god is very weak if all it takes are magnets to... uh make you forget about him? What exactly does he even mean by magnets sucking god from people's minds? Wait, maybe it's a bad attempt at a blowjob joke?

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

It's just a lazy coverup. Everyone know they're using 5g to do that.

[–] kamen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Is this how they get parasites out these days? I guess I should get on with the times...

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I only managed a “D” in E&M (why are surface integrals). Do I have to detransition?

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