What a weak god. My patron goddess has survived waves of mass persecution of her most dedicated followers for over a millennium. This guy can't handle a magnet?
this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2025
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Trans folks 'know' how magnets work.
He must think his god is very weak if all it takes are magnets to... uh make you forget about him? What exactly does he even mean by magnets sucking god from people's minds? Wait, maybe it's a bad attempt at a blowjob joke?
It's just a lazy coverup. Everyone know they're using 5g to do that.
At least he doesn't have to worry about it. God can't inhabit his brain because both are non-existent.
I guess "Nobody knows what magnets are" is a thing now in US.
I guess the yellow man was speaking on behalf of the average US citizen...
Is this how they get parasites out these days? I guess I should get on with the times...
looks at my spare bag of neodymium magnets 👀
I'm not even Catholic and I want to send this guy to the Inquisition for heresy
2015 oof. Obviously the god killing athiest magnets didn't pan out
Worse than that... they're probably researching if they can reverse this and make their neighbors racist
Judging by how shitty the world has become they already have. I wouldn't be surprised if billionaires test social media algorithms and fox programs on people with a brain scanning hat on to make sure the racism center of the brain is lighting up
That’s just the iron in their brains moving around.
You know that sound when the vacuum cleaner picks up some grit and you hear it rattle in the metal tube ...
Y’all can laugh at this, but I tried it and it worked (not even trans).
Thing is, I am now stuck with this homeless god. Anyone has any idea what to do with it? Can I properly recycle it somewhere?
Have you tried sticking it in a tortoise?
Yeah just wherever you go recycle batteries, there should be a slot for it.
When left to rot, god will turn into holy water
If I knew how to use magic magnets to remove Christianity from people's heads I would have started doing it long ago
Fucking magnets, how do they work?
Nobody knows what magnets are. Except this guy.
Give this man a nobel prize for figuring out how magnets work
TIL god is iron man.
What is he on and where can I get some?
Establishing that god is ferrous or an electric field feels like it should be a heresy
Who told them the plan?!
Can God make a magnet so powerful that even he can't overcome it?
can god make a magnet so gay he wants to fuck it
God is all powerful, yet utterly powerless to stop people from being gay and doctors from interfering with his will
Also, he loves you, but if you don't literally worship him, he will make you burn for eternity.
Sounds like an abusive relationship to me.
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The onion couldn't write this shit.
Transgender God Magnets are the new Jewish Space Lasers
God is in my brain? Omg get him out of there please. I'm not a social person.
Also, does that mean he identifies god as a brain-parasite?
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Apply holy water to deactivate the magnet
If I had known I could make a living just telling blatant falsehoods in an angry way, my life might have turned out a lot differently.
I do enjoy being able to sleep at night, though. So maybe it all worked out for the best.
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Do they still need a doctors diagnosis to put this person into a padded cell?
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