HeyThisIsntTheYMCA

So we have this rock that looks like a potato. I think everyone will agree that Kevin here looks like a potato. We found him on a long walk. Our first strategic use of Kevin, we scrubbed him and put him in a pile of potatoes that my mother was peeling for potato salad. Yara yara yara, much hilariously was had by all. I am trying to think of other pranks we've done on each other with Kevin. It's usually that one, we always find it hilarious (like the rubber lizard we put in each other's sinks. It's about time, and my wife's turn to prank someone, for that to happen I should get ready) you'd think we'd get tired of it but we love this rock.

My cat, she loves Kevin too. Cuddles with him all the time. All the time except today, it seems. She's been sick the last few days, so she's just cuddling with me when she's not playing. She will, however, pose with Kevin. She loves taking photos. So I included some cat tax.

I apologize if this is a little too exciting but I have been looking for this food the last few, uh, 119 days. I had it at this food festival, loved it, bought out the vendor (it was the end of the day and they only had a gallon left) but I may have fallen in love with toum (it's a dip made primarily of garlic, oil, and lemon but that really doesn't tell the whole story the garlic is sweet).

I found toum at the fancy grocery today :3

I spent the evening eating pita covered in labne (tangy Lebanese yogurt) and toum. There's a farmers' market a few towns over where this guy sells the best bolani and now I can't wait until market day.

Photo: Joe Lingeman

The boxes had water damage, so i got some plastic boxes. Then i put almost everything in the new plastic boxes. Managed to get rid of a whole box worth of shit, including an old crock pot.

I gotta go fill up a box with rocks i guess.

I just rode by a Der WienerSchnitzel. It had a sign boasting it's "All-American". Its name is German, for The WienerShnitzel. Please help me understand.

that was a really cup of coffee. and an even better bagel. i've only got, fuck, three bagels left? and those are good bagels too. and when those are done i'm gonna have to buy more since i bake about as well as i metaphor. fuck. none of those eventualities involves me staying on my ass if i want more bagel.

edit: just realized i can ask my wife for bagel

edit edit: just realized if i ask my wife for bagel she will eat the remaining bagels

edit edit edit: just texted my wife that i told y'all about her eating my beloved bagels yesterday (CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE IT SHE ATE MY BAGELS) i will win this battle even though the war is long lost

edit edit edit edit: i just got a phone call from my wife y'all. she was at the bagel shop EATING A GARLIC BAGEL. I have been outplayed.

So, uh, i painted my nails (for the first time since i was a kid) last night. They look rough i love it. That's beside the question, i waited patiently for my nails to dry. Right? Hooray me for not Oh! Squirrel!ing. For I don't know how many hours afterward, they stank like ammonia or something. I wanted to pet my cats but my nails were too stinky. They would not allow it. So how do I make my nails stop stinking faster so I can get back to petting my cats?

edit: follow up do they make nail polish that smells like catnip

He carries a purse
Look out! A swift crotch kick comes.
That boy ain't right, Dale.

So, I had the stupid/great idea to Upgrade my halloween costume. I think it's going to take at least a year's work. I want to take my bike and turn it into a pirate ship. I also recognize that I'm not quite proficient at all of the tasks ahead of me so I thought I'd ask y'all if you had any advice. I'm at the drawing up plans stage. Here's what I've got:

I plan to take a generation one electric terratrike rambler and make a "little" removable shell i can clamp to it, remove it every year &c. for halloween that looks like a small pirate ship i can ride around the neighborhood and give out candy. they, not mine, look like this but i've got more neat shit on minei'll let you guess what my costume is.

so here's a crude mockup of what my trike looks like:

now here's a basic idea of what i'm planning on doing:

my first thought for that purple frame outline is to get some PVC, bend it the shape i want, put some cardboard on, paint on some fiberglass, once it's dry sand it and paint it like an old timey boat. attach it with some struts and clamps of some sort i'm sure i can frankenstein together in the back and front, fuck pedaling while it's together just run off the electric. have my crate in the back be the poop deck, maybe put a mast in where my headrest is i dunno.

so: any tips with the fiberglassing? see anywhere I'm going wrong? I've never done anything like this before, it just looks fun.

I love greek food, greek festivals, and well honestly food festivals so i thought i'd let y'all know ahead of time. Weather looks to be in the upper 80s lower 90s. Hope to see you there!

Those biscuits N0MAD @ sh.itjust.works look damn good, so here's something to go with them

SAUSAGE GRAVY

1 pound Breakfast Sausage, Hot Or Mild. I like Hot, my wife likes Mild.
1/3 cup All-purpose Flour
4 cups Whole Milk
1/2 teaspoon Seasoned Salt
2 teaspoons Black Pepper, More To Taste

With your finger, tear small pieces of sausage and add them in a single layer to a large heavy skillet. Brown the sausage over medium-high heat until no longer pink. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Sprinkle on half the flour and stir so that the sausage soaks it all up, then add a little more until just before the sausage looks too dry. Stir it around and cook it for another minute or so, then pour in the milk, stirring constantly.

[in my recipe, here's biscuit cookin']

Cook the gravy, stirring frequently, until it thickens. (This may take a good 10-12 minutes.) Sprinkle in the seasoned salt and pepper and continue cooking until very thick and luscious. If it gets too thick too soon, just splash in 1/2 cup of milk or more if needed. Taste and adjust seasonings. [editor's note, my wife and i disagree on the proper amount of pepper, i say a whole tablespoon, she says a single teaspoon is enough. remember, you can always add more, but you can't unseason]

Spoon sausage gravy over warm biscuits and serve immediately!