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submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by kescusay@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

We've been getting some weird posts lately that... Well, they're not making me think it's gotta be an Onion headline, that's for sure.

So just a little refresher. Posts should be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

If it's not Onion-y, it doesn't belong here. Bizarre, horrific, and violent news can be here if the headline reads like something out of The Onion, but if it doesn't, it's going away. And if there's too much non-Onion-like content from an account, that account is going away, too.

If you're not sure whether the real news headline you've found is like The Onion, here's a few sample Onion headlines from today:

  • "Visiting Friend Pleasantly Surprised By City’s Open Hostility Toward Homeless People"
  • "Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once"
  • "Man Feels Like Bystanders Are Arguing For Him To Put Gun Down In Bad Faith"
  • "Wally The Emotional Support Alligator Went To See The Phillies"
  • ‘New York Times’ Issues Apology For Reporting Palestinian Deaths

See? Find headlines from real news outlets that remind you of headlines like those. And just to prove my point: One of them is real.

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submitted 20 hours ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 23 hours ago by Emperor@feddit.uk to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Former President Trump said he wants President Biden to be drug-tested before their first debate.

“I’m gonna demand a drug test too, by the way,” Trump said at the Minnesota Republican Party’s Lincoln Reagan Dinner Friday. “I am, no I really am. I don’t want him coming in like the State of the Union, he was high as a kite.”

Trump has previously stated in a radio interview that Biden was “all jacked up” at the beginning of his State of the Union address, as well as “higher than a kite.”

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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by wanderingmagus@lemm.ee to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/32365414

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/32365208

Back in the 90s, Jeff Bezos went on record as hoping his employees would wake up on the wrong side of the bed—for the greater good, or for the customer at the very least.

Edit: Courtesy of @CatZoomies@lemmy.world :

Here’s the archived version to bypass the paywall:

https://archive.is/Uh2yl

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submitted 1 day ago by ylai@lemmy.ml to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 2 days ago by solo@slrpnk.net to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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A pro-Trump New Yorker unveiled his latest piece of political performance art outside the Manhattan courtroom where Trump’s criminal trial is underway on Thursday, launching 100 pink penis-shaped balloons decorated with the faces of Trump foes like Manhattan district attorney Alvin Bragg and Judge Juan Merchan. The artist, Scott Lobaido of Staten Island, told the New York Post that the “art installation” is entitled “Dicks of Hazard” to show that “these guys are a bunch of useless dicks.” Lobaido’s piece, which reportedly cost $1,500 in supplies and at least two days of labor to affix the portraits and properly weigh the balloons, was unveiled on the same day that Trump cronies Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), and their posse of MAGA diehards rolled up to express their support for the candidate, who is facing 34 felony charges related to a concealed affair with a porn star that could’ve cost him the 2016 election.

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submitted 5 days ago by solo@kbin.earth to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

...The RNC did not say if the officers were injured or what kind of cheese was used.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/2927731

'Carthage must be destroyed': Mark Zuckerberg t-shirt ignites anger in Tunisia, present-day Carthage

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/worldnews by /u/SmartAd95 on 2024-05-16 11:07:15+00:00.

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  • Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker criticized Pride Month and suggested women should stay in the kitchen during a commencement address.
  • Butker has had a successful career in the NFL, but his views on gender roles and Pride Month have sparked controversy.
  • He also criticized the "church of nice" and expressed his beliefs in speaking truth despite going against diversity and inclusion.
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view more: next ›

Not The Onion

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2089 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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