Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by kescusay@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
 
 

Hey everyone, just a quick heads-up. This community has been getting flooded with content from a site called "Townflex" that looks like it just republishes stories from elsewhere. I'm provisionally banning the site, because it's difficult to assess their credibility, and the sheer flood of posts from it were beginning to look like site promotion - i.e., spam. Over the next few weeks, I'll work on a bot to automatically remove submissions from the site.

If you've got a good reason for me to rethink this policy, please let me know below.

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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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I'm doing my part to fund education!

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/72748960

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But for every lustful post killed by a legal threat, another 10 take its place.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/72584749

One Reddit user spotted an Aliexpress ad for a "pet incinerator" on Instagram, a macabre encounter that raises plenty of questions.

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The film, with the working title Pawn Shop, centers on an Antifa siege of a Minneapolis pawn shop amid anti-ICE unrest. On one side: an ICE agent joined by a group of pawn-shop employees and customers. On the other: a rabble of progressive protesters, and eventually a bloodthirsty MS-13 death squad, both intent on rescuing a Hispanic man detained by ICE. It plays out exactly how you’d expect it would.

The film’s first minutes will likely get the most attention. As Pawn Shop opens, two ICE agents in Minneapolis arrest the Latino man, later revealed to be an MS-13 boss. Dimwitted liberal activists film and scuffle with the agents as they try to take their suspect away.

Then the film’s Renée Good stand-in enters, slamming her Subaru into the ICE van. Described with the subtlety of a brick as “MELANIE (40), a fat blue-hair,” the woman, blasting NPR, revs up again and fatally hits ICE agent “Juan” with her car. Then his ICE partner, “Mike,” shoots her in a justifiable killing.

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cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/67683321

Eminem is featured on the song "7 Sins," one of 17 tracks on the album.

Other tracks on the set include "Freedom," "Why Don't You Look Into Jesus," "Halfway 2 Jesus," Me and Jesus" and "God Bless the USA."

It is the latest team up between the two Detroit artists. A pre-"Slim Shady LP" Eminem was featured on Kid Rock's 1998 breakthrough album, "Devil Without a Cause," on the track "F--- Off."

Kid Rock later was featured in the music video for Eminem's 2013 single "Berzerk."

"Halfway 2 Jesus," which has been alternately branded by Rock as "Halfway to Jesus," is Rock's upcoming Christian-themed album. On Rock's website, the album is featured next to an Oct. 17 date and a countdown clock ticking down to that date.

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The power of AI.

Long story short, AI initially pushed back on the ridiculous idea that drinking your own piss was a cure all, then these users figured out that adding words like ‘esoteric’ to their prompts let them direct AI to tell them what they wanted to hear.

Tbh article was too gross for me to finish. That’s all you get from me for a summary.

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The decision by Douma City Council in the Damascus countryside prohibits "the groom entering women's celebrations in the halls of Douma city", according to a copy of the order published by the council.

It means that even the groom himself cannot enter the women's section of a wedding celebration.

In socially conservative parts of Syria, weddings are usually segregated by gender. However at the end of the women's party the groom usually enters to meet the bride and take her home.

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Edit: Original site is paywalled and seeming to not always load, here is another article about the incident: https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/united-airlines-flight-masturbating-incident/6551525/

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