dharmacurious

joined 2 years ago
[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

My retirement plan is a tank of helium and clear bag. Gonna watch the ocean, and make myself laugh with funny Mickey mouse voice and drift off

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It kinda looks like a dude bent over from behind, hangy balls flappin' in the breeze

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Similar story getting pulled by a cop for speeding once. I'm gay, but used she/her when I told him, because I'm not a complete fucking moron.

I was speeding, it was like 3am, this is after my state's hilarious excuse for a lockdown, so all the businesses are closed at night now, and they will pull you any time they catch someone driving at night.

Officer: where ya headed this time of night?

Me: glances at the lube and condoms laying on the passenger seat "hookup with a chick I met online"

Officer: Fuck yeah. Drive safe, buddy.

And he fucking walked away. No other questions, did not ask to see my license, insurance, nothing. Just "go get you some, boy!" And that was it. Had I admitted it was a guy instead? I highly doubt the reaction would have been the same

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Buddhist monks have historically been pretty handy with fire...

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a building...

That's not the lead up to the joke. I'd just be inviting them all over and covering my bases!

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago

Idk, man, depends on the bags, but I love getting the flesh purse dangled into my enamal-bladed bear trap sometimes

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My boyfriend once got lock jaw while giving head to his ex. He got it out, but it was tight and it scratch up his dick pretty good from what I understand. Bf had to go to urgent care because his jaw was stuck mid blowjob for over an hour. They told the doc he had been eating a sandwich when it happened.

The funny part, though, is that they were hosting family for a weekend, and had snuck off for a mid day quickie when it happened lmao

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wish I were able to make a gif on my phone right now. You know the homer Simpson "mmmm, donuts" one?

"Mmm, painal",

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 week ago

Thank you so much! I was just trying to tell a friend about one of my favorite webcomics from years ago, but it's been so long that I had completely forgotten the name, and could only describe it as "basically it's like if the flag balls were people, and it's set in Europe, but I can't remember where"

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

First time I ever found out some guys couldn't do that was wild. He was so fucking fascinated by my bobbling bell end it was wild lol

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 19 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Two stories:

My mom was in a religious school for a few years, and her craziest story was sex Ed, which was mandated in the state at the time. The entire class was "take this shoebox home." Literally no other instructions. The shoebox contained a mirror and nothing else. It was 20 years later before she realized what the mirror was for, because she wasn't informed it was a sex Ed class.

I was homeschooled, but not in a religious way. My mom ordered the books the state told her to order. When we got them they were fine, until we got to the science module and it told us how ancient humans and dinosaurs lived side by side. ... My mom immediately ordered different books.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by dharmacurious@slrpnk.net to c/aww@lemmy.world
 

His quinceañero is May 8th!

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Flannel shirt is fine, but flannel pants are pajamas are only for wearing inside. A T-shirt made of jersey material is fine to be worn out, but thin jersey pants are pajamas and should only be worn at home, so says conventional wisdom.

But, if shirt is made of pant, then it's nice/slightly fancy. Denim shirt? Nice, durable, suitable for a restaurant.

I don't know if this applies to women's fashion, as it seems to have very different rules to men's wear

 

Hey, folks,

I'm potentially moving to SA early next year or sooner. I'm looking for a little advice on a few things, but mainly safety and atmosphere. I'm an out gay man. I know SA itself is fairly blue/accepting, but it still scares me to move to Texas during these particular political times. Can anyone give me an idea of what it's actually like there for queer people? Bonus if you can suggest any non-club ways to make queer friends, especially outside of hookups/grindr and that sort of thing.

I'm generally pretty politically active, left wing. Anywhere decent to get involved outside of just donating to the local Democratic party or something?

My situation is a little different, housing wise, as well. I'll be staying in an RV in Hidden Valley RV Park just south of the city (or similar, but that's the best one I've found so far), working as a CNA until I've made enough to afford an apartment on my own. I don't want roommates, and this is the only way for me to do that realistically. Done the RV thing before, but being outside of the city itself, I'm not sure about safety. So if anyone knows the place, advice there is welcome, too.

Thanks in advance, folks!

 

Not sure if I mentioned in the last post, the original person who was going to do my tattoo didn't do it. Instead, a good friend's daughter in law did it, as she's way more qualified, and is willing to do the memorial tattoo for free.

She did another on me tonight. First one I literally could barely feel it. This one hurt like wasp stings around the tusk area. It's Ganesha, the remover of obstacles, and an Om.

 

Hey, folks. Everyone was super considerate and kind about my post the other day. I took the advice to heart, and started asking around of friends who had tattoos where they got theirs done and such.

A good friend's son's wife turned out to be a professional tattoo artist who agreed to do it for free when I told her why I wanted to get one. I just got it done today and I'm very happy with it so far. I know things change about as it heals, but I'm very happy with it. Unfortunately, I jumped at one point because it hurt unexpectedly bad in one little spot, and there's a wobble on one of the letters, but I'm okay with that for a reason:

My mom was a crocheter. Amazing work. But the thing is, when you're making thousands and thousands of stitches by hand, there's also going to be some mistake. I read once and told her, and she then lived by a rule: that mistake is where the stress escapes. If you'd crocheted a perfect blanket, you'd be afraid to use it. Can't use that! You'll mess it up! It's perfect! One little mistake makes the whole thing better sometimes.

 

Hey, folks, My mom just passed away, and I want a memorial tattoo for her. It will be my first, and I'm nervous.

We would play the NYT letterboxed every night, and so I designed a custom board that's solvable with an inside joke as well as her name. If anyone isn't familiar, the game is linked. I want it to basically look just like that board, but in black and white. The letters themselves I have picked out and know their placement.

The thing I'm concerned about is the letters blurring over time. I don't have a lot of money, so a friend's sister is going to be doing it for me for free. She has experience, 3 or so dozen real life tattoos, but she is new, and she's never done color before. I've seen her work, and it's good. But I'm worried about longterm, with this being letters and fine lines. Does it look like a viable idea? Do these sorts of things generally hold up fairly well?

https://www.nytimes.com/puzzles/letter-boxed

 

Hey, folks!

So, the card linked to my hetzner account expired, and while I updated it everywhere else, the hetzner info fell through the cracks. They deleted my storageshare server, and erased everything, because I'm a fool, and didn't have their emails going to an account I ever check. I've spent the last several days feeling like I'd had a digital housefire. Things kept popping into my head, photos I had taken 10 years ago, or early drafts of the novel I'm writing... It's been pretty fucking depressing.

But, tonight, I fired up a laptop I haven't used in a while to find that most of what was in nextcloud was backed up on it. It's not everything, but it's the bulk of it.

I'd like for this to never happen again. I'm wondering if there's a complete idiot's guide to self hosting nextcloud? When I say I know nothing about this, please believe me. We're talking starting from scratch. I've never self hosted anything, and I have no idea where to begin. I'm on fedora silverblue, but just because I'm using linux doesn't mean I know anything. It just means I'm cheap. Haha. All I know is that I never want to go through that feeling of complete loss again. I'll make sure that whatever I do, it'll be backed up in two locations at least. I was paying for the family plan, and my brother, his wife, my mom, and a friend lost access to their stuff, too. So far as I know, there isn't a back up of their stuff. I really messed up here.

Any help is really appreciated, thanks in advance!

 

Hope this is allowed here. I couldn't find an lolgrindr type community.

1000009915

 
 

Different religions have an "age of accountability."
The legal system has an "age of adulthood."
And puberty hits us with the "age of awkwardness" (thanks, hormones).

But I propose a new milestone: the Age of Pepto Bismol.
You’re not truly an adult until you have to keep Pepto Bismol nearby at all times, lest the twin demons of heartburn and indigestion take up permanent residence within you.

 

 

One of my favorite things on the other site was seeing the users doing a song together, but I'd completely forgotten about it until someone just replied to my Jefferson Airplane quote with the next line. Would be very cool to see a Lemmy sings community. Anyone know of one? I'm coming up snake eyes on my search.

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