HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST

if you have a preferred week please tell me

Eco* (10/12 - 10/18)
LoveSupreme* (10/19 - 10/25)
Shaleesh* (10/26 - 11/1)
Ceres (11/2 - 11/8)
Disaster_of_Passion* (11/9 - 11/15)
Carcharodonna* (11/16 - 11/22)
BountifulEggnog* (11/23 - 11/29)
sodium_nitride* (11/30 - 12/6)
GenderIsOpSec* (12/7 - 12/13)

Shaleesh* (12/21 - 12/27)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

Expecting a job offer any day now.

Life feels so empty and worthless. Why do I do this to myself. I don't want to fucking be there. I don't want to be out in public. I don't want to interact with people. God I hate it all so much.

Okay I've started getting better now, specially because I talked with my therapist again today and we talked about the elections and my fears about the future. I have also been talking with my only friend that knows I'm trans. I'm disappointed that he voted for Hitler Santos, but I understand that he most likely just fell for the propaganda, and he says he will vote for Lula next in the 25th of this month, he is not a right winger, rather a really well-meaning liberal that trends to the left rather than to the right on most stuff, but is not politically literate enough to fully understand it, I have just told him I'm willing to help politicize him if he wants to, because the fear he has for his soon-to-be-born daughter is legitimate and he can be prepared for it.

I'm done hiding my political beliefs IRL and doing too little, no matter how much of a liberal Lula is, from now to the 25th I'm doing my part online and with those I can talk to, to change their mind about Flávio. Today I'm also finally done procrastinating it and I'm starting comrade Cowbee's reading guide.

Also, on a really good note, my therapist referred to me by my new name and with feminine pronouns, I also started referring to me with feminine words since portuguese is gendered and even tho I was feeling down for most of the conversation, that alone made me feel better.

I am trapped behind a front that brings me nothing but despair and the appearance of being kinda okay.

ACAB includes the police in my mind, I'm coming for you.

You know what? Screw it! LEDs are pretty! I'm gonna put my cheap battery fairy lights into my window for spooky season.

The fantasy of actual high power pulse lasers being sold to women is both horrifying and amusing at the same time.

"Want to semi-permanently remove your hair? Well here's this pulse laser machine that has zero qualms with obliterating you skin or destroying your retinas. Good luck! Isn't feminism under capitalism great?"

I should buy one of those "intense pulse light" hair removal devices and take it apart. Do a Bigclive esque Youtube video.

I have a sneaking suspicion they're essentially the old school xenon gas discharge tube flash circuitry from old cameras (because we didn't always have high power white LEDs) but maybe beefed up and/or a different gas mixture in the tube for the desired light wavelength output.

Actually the wikipedia article on "Laser hair removal" says IPL devices are literally just xenon flash lamps.

You know I have one of those modern Instax film cameras I trashpicked. Maybe I can hack that thing up.

October best month

painting miniature faces is haaaaard

October 🍁

its been seven years since I realized I was trans. What a mistake its all been. Now I'm alone, am schizo, seeking God but finding no response, and back in my childhood bedroom. Its all been for naught, I'm legally a woman and have been on HRT for five years but I still Look Like This. I am still me.

Can I not emphasize the "alone" enough?

Chewed lolipops oit of stress, now my molars hurt, might've broke them.

black templars are just the chud chapter

(maybe) not all black templar players are chuds but if youre a chud you are playing black templars

i think maybe i'm just not built for these shoes... size 11 was too small, but 12 almost feels too big while still pressing on my toes

back to the drawing board i guess...

I love Autumn and specifically October

My doll hobby is the only thing keeping me sane atm.

Currently restoring an old Elissabat doll. Really proud of how it’s turning out.

I'm so tired, alone and naive. I feel violent and in the wrong skin.

October best month

Continuing off my previous post

24 bits are kinda trash for storing numbers through the prime factor format. But 24 bits is even less than ordinary integers, and maybe we can do better. If we allow upto 32 bits (like ordinary ints), then we have 6 more bits for adding in 11 as a prime factor as well as 2 leftover bits. One of those bits could be a sign, allowing for negative numbers. Another could be fucking anything idk.

Now this way of doing things ... isn't not necessarily too bad, but we could try to improve?

First, we can store the exponents as a 2's complement. Search it up. It's slightly more efficient than storing signed integers. Basically in signed ints, +0 and -0 are stored as 2 seperate numbers even though they are functionally the same. In 2s complement, this is fixed.

I had 6 bit for the exponent. 1 for the sign. 3 for the powers (upto 7th power). 2 for the roots (upto 4rth root)

With 2's complement we can change to 4 bits for the powers and 2 for the roots. This allows the powers to range from -8 to +7

Which is ... wierd? And stupid? I don't think -8 is a very common power to use. Imagine being able to store 1/256 exactly, but not 13. A better way imo is to go 2 bits for the powers and 2 for the roots. This restricts the powers down to -4 to 3 which isn't super nice, but has the advantage that prime factors are now stored as 4 bit blocks. This plays nicely with the computer.

Now I introduce my next trick. Not every prime factor is equal. 2 and 5 are important. So I can give 8 bits to the each of them. That's 16 bits. Then the remaining 16 bits are divided into 4 other prime factors (3, 7, 11 and 13).

I wince when I check my replies sometimes. I should have learned to not speak like I had been successfully doing before. Signing off now for another year.

They need to invent a haircut experience that isnt a humiliating waste of time and money.

Since it is Spooptober… Wanted to give a quick plug for /c/creepy, a comm dedicated to spoopy stuff. You should check it out if you’re into that sort of thing.

October is a wonderful month, Its homey and marks the end of the difficult times, the beginning of the happy cozy times. Summer is hard. I'm glad its moving on now.

Sometimes I'll cry for seemingly no reason at all, which can be frustrating. But then I'll remember the state of things broadly and realize there are so many reasons to cry all the time. So really any time I'm not sobbing has got to be a win