lilypad

joined 2 years ago
[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Nothing like contributing to a project for years and knowing your deadname is in so many commits... Cant force push to the project to remove your deadname, but dont want to keep contributing under your deadname, but its also sus if some brand new person suddenly shows up with intimate knowledge of parts of the codebase that youre the only knowledgable person on... Theres no good way forward lol doggirl-sweat

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 10 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

There is a sliver of hope: The rainforests that currently carpet the tropics may be more resilient to high temperatures than those that existed before the Great Dying. This is the question the scientists are tackling next.

Nah, ive been sold that "sliver of hope" my whole life and watched as we blow past it again and again. Theyre not gettin me this time. We can solve a lot of our problems. We choose not to.

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My tolerance went way down when i started E, but that was a couple years ago lol so i dont think its whats going on. I think i just havent had alcohol in a while and am no longer used to it

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago (7 children)

I had two drinks over the course of several hours, how am i somehow drunkish? Like, im not drunk drunk, but im more than tipsy??? Granted, i havent had alcohol in weeks, but still two drinks (not even super heavy pours either, like an extra 20% cause the bartender likes meeee) shouldnt hit me like this???? New calibration point for alcohol ig?

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! That is all.

Addendum:

screm-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

What if fusion but its really balkan folk music?

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Something something tragedy farce

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 2 points 6 days ago

Im glad youre safe meow-hug serotonin syndrome is scary and im glad you avoided it!

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Doing well. But also terrible. Quit smoking a month ago and havent fallen off yet. Havent had any pot or alcohol in weeks either.

Unfortunately (cw despair)i find myself consumed by the desire to do something, anything, to help others or hinder the various horrible projects around me, but am paralyzed by my own mental illness and lack of a clear path forward or ability to take action in general.

Thank you for being an inspiring force in the world and taking care of people around you

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Im sorry things are so rough and society is so fucked cuddle its hard and intense but youve got this and i have faith in you to find ways forward. Im so glad corgiwithalaptop has been able to offer a place to stay!

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There are many people who devote their entire lives and work to anarchy

To be clear, i wasnt trying to disparage anarchists in general. The anarchists in my life are generally some of the people who have the best grasp on group dynamics, effective mobilization, and how to show up and build community.

faux-radicals in the west will denounce anything and everything, seeming to be the most radical of all but really supporting the status quo

There is so much of this around me and its exhausting. I dont even know how to counter it, not because i dont have the information but just because the pure time and energy and effort is so much.

Also re nordic countries, if i have to explain to someone one more goddamn time how the nordic model is fucked, doctors with 1000 patient caseloads, denial of trans healthcare, internment schools for sami people that shut down not all that long ago, continuing destruction of sami rights and way of life (looking at you fosen), rampant liberalism and neoliberalism, the way various parties are trying to destroy the healthcare system a la nhs in the uk, etc etc etc... Well my head might just pop. Not to mention the horrible racism. The amount of people ive heard argue that their version of the n word isnt actually the english n word and is unrelated and therefore ok to say is just so depressing.

learn to exercise some epistemic humility until they have a framework by means of which to judge things that they can actually defend.

Im not a maoist but the phrase "no investigation no right to speak" should be used way fucking more istg

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)

lines of objection radlibs raise to such states are usually incoherent (and at best deeply hypocritical), and they will oscillate between talking like an anarchist and a neoliberal point to point based on rhetorical convenience

This is some of the people in my life and they are absolutely insufferable to have any sort of conversation with politically. "Communists are all fascists waiting to seize power" and shit like that. This one person, they say this shit and then turn around and say "i dont know what to think and believe, but i have faith in anarchy" and im just sitting there like wtf you literally just called me and people i respect fascists and then admit to not having any ideological framework??? Like, if you dont actively develop your ideology you will end up adopting the cultural default ideology, we have talked about this and they agreed with me, like, deeply unserious people using punk and anarchist aesthetics because it "looks cool".

 

Short version: what active hearing protection/noise cancelling in ear headphones do you use or recommend, and why?

One of the things i struggle with, without really realizing it, is sound. Theres specific sounds that are really upsetting and make me want to claw my spinal cord out of my neck, namely the sound of metal scraping ceramic. But other "normal" noise also puts a huge drain on my system, and i often dont realize this and just end up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed for no reason. Then when i plug my ears for some reason or another theres instant relief.

So im looking for some sort of (preferably in ear) solution to this issue. I dont really know where to start. I would like to have active protection against everything, that also lets voices through, but letting voices through should be togglable. Ive looked at active hearing protection and it seems to be divided into constant low thrumming sounds like machinery or short high amplitude sounds like gunshots.

I look at noise cancelling in-ear headphones and see a whole range of stuff but have no idea how to evaluate it. Given how expensive everything is, i would really rather buy one thing than try many different products.

My home has the following characteristics: constant construction from across the way, a roommate who listens to really loud music on her speakers and wont turn it down, dealing with hearing people having shouting arguments, traffic noises, etc.

Ideally these would also work for being out and about, but if i could just have some respite from these sounds in my home it would be really nice.

So, if you have used any active hearing protection or noise cancelling headphones you really like, could you tell me what they are and why you like them?

 

How do you write a cover letter for a job doing very basic tasks? I feel like Im either shmoozing and being way over the top, or being realistic in a way that will keep me from getting the job. For reference the job is to package coffee and make other products. I guess i just dont understand. I need a job, they need a worker. This work can be done by most people, its not some field thats relevant, its putting beans in bags and brewing coffee, how can I say "i really want to work here" when in reality any job will do, this is just the one that vibes best with my social capacity and is offered by the least offensive corporation. Like what am I gonna say, "I love brewing coffee, i spend every day constantly brewing coffee and moving my coffee beans from one bag to another, because I just like handling coffee"?

I have also been studying or doing self employed things like tutoring for the past 10 years and my cover letter skills were shit before this and have only gotten worse.

Cant I just write "job. Me need job. You have job. Me need money for survive. You need worker for labour. You give money, i work. I work good." and be done with it?

 

Its just so exhausting and upsetting.

excerpt from a conversation from yesterday (CW transphobia)Transphobe 1: its too tall!

Transphobe 2: what is?

Transphobe 1 gestures at me

Transphobe 1: that thing

The conversation continued with additional transphobia.

And like i get it okay, im not a person, not even a human, but can we just skip the whole conversation? Or is the whole dehumanization and inflicting pain thing the enjoyable part?

I guess a positive is that it shows who the fake and fairweather allies are, like i was surrounded by people i thought were allies but no one said a damn thing. It was transphobe 2 that actually called out his friend cause 'you just cant say that stuff anymore' 🙄. Transphobe 1 proceeded to try and defend his actions by claiming he was using gender neutral language cause he didnt know how to gender me. Like, no motherfucker you fucking werent! Gender neutral language isnt dehumanizing language! Now i get to go organize an event with these same "allies" who said nothing. I demand that you shoot me now, so i dont have to do this.

Im not sure why im so upset about this. Its not that bad, really just par for the course. Not like he was beating me or anything. And allies should be assumed to be false unless otherwise proven. Its just so tiring. So damn exhausting.

Thanks for listening to me

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