chat

Oh boy, so honestly I don't blame myself for relapsing under the circumstances I had, but I still put a lot at risk. I burnt the shit out of my throat on some food on Monday. Bad enough that I had to turn down some opiates at the hospital. I have literally been gagging on my own uvula for the whole week, unable to swallow anything but fluids, being in pain from breathing, the full 9.

Well, I tried to do the responsible thing and I bought some over the counter cough syrup. It's a shitty high at low doses, should be fine right? This was not the case. That little taste of cough medicine turned into multiple bottles of cough tablets in one night. If you've ever been on DXM or seen someone on DXM, you know that it's not an easy one to hide. The other people in sober living saw how bad I was doing and had no idea what I was on, so they were worried about having to narcan me. I was technically safe, but it was still unfair to put that stress on them, even if it was unintentional. But up until that point, I've been a really good roommate so everybody was really forgiving. I explained the situation to the house manager and as long as I can pass a drug test in a few days, and I probably should.

As far as other consequences for it goes, I gave myself bromide poisoning in one night of dosing on dextro. A very rare side effect of DXM that only comes with high doses, I have breakouts on my hairline that are literally leaking cough medicine. It's so swollen up there, it hurts to touch at all, but I finally have the energy to get it rinsed out tonight. But all my excretions reek like cough medicine, including the oily residue coming out of my head.

This was extra stupid as I'm on an SSRI, meaning I ignored my own advice on not mixing DXM with ssris because of serotonin syndrome risk. There was a chance that this relapse would have randomly sent me into a painful death and I would have been too fucked up to even call an ambulance if it happened. I was barely able to stand up, drooling and unresponsive to what was happening around me. I got lucky and didn't run into seratonin syndrome, but it was really fucking stupid. I'm lucky I still have a house and a life after this because this easily could have turned sour real quick.