this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 44 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Glute

"My name is Gluteous Maximus, commander of the Asses of the North, General of the Sphincter Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Marcus Analius."

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Asses of the North

You mean the right wing demagogues on the ascendancy in Nordic countries including my native Denmark?

[–] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Is it true that if you're single on your 25th birthday, your friends and family will throw cinnamon on you?

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"He has a wife, you know..."

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[–] thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Glute Honk

Or, as I call it, sexual harassment

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Or battery, perchance?

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] piconaut@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Buff Drinklots
Slab Squatthrust
Stump Chunkman
Big McLarge Huge
Bob Johnson

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

When I was learning Python, I coded a Space Mutiny Name Generator. Here, let me run a few:

Hack Slugmeal

Brick Vanderchest

Rip Fistnozzle

Stan Beefhead

Hack Squatchest

Beat Manknob

Hunk Hardhandle

Hack Hardnugget

Wedge Rockmeat

Beat Bonehat

Slam Headnugget

Stan Toughnozzle

Hack McLargebody

Hack Bulkcheese

Big Grindhuge

Dirk Squatpound

Crud Steaknugget

Hunk Rockface

Slam Fisthandle

Big Hardback

Chunk Slamface

Rip Manthrust

Beat Headmeat

^CAAAAAAAAAAH! gets out calmly

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[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 7 points 1 week ago

Big McLargehuge might be my favorite.

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He has an account here on Lemmy somewhere.

[–] Slovene85@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago

Urethra Franklin

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

BORT will always be a classic.

[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎H A M

B A T T E R Y

[–] thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Is that something used to power a ham? Or a battery made of pork?

Or is it a crime against pigs?

[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago

Well, eating ham gives us energy, so logically they are batteries made of pork.

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correct ~~horse~~ ham battery staple

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ham is actually a veritable biblical name (as in Ham, Shem and Japhet), and was more common in puritanical times. A chimpanzee sent into space by NASA was named Ham, probably after the scriptural figure rather than importentiously the meat.

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[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

May i add...

Fridge

Crunch

Jeff

Murderer

Don't forget:

Building-Inspector
Comptroller
Spün
Pissbaby
Stretch
Slick
Vice-Mayor
Penis
Boil-on-my-Ass

Fridgecrunch Jeffmurderer is my favorite underused Marvel villain

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Beer

Fight

Truck

Boulder

Gun

[–] decolo@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

These are Dave Ryder adjacent.

  • Blast Crunchmeat

  • Squat Hardthrust

  • Beef Bulkhead

etc

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I am Bus, and this is my son, Bussy.

[–] aSaabD00d@lemmy.today 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is extremely funny to me bc I did go to school with someone named Dyson. I honestly have no idea why but we all called him Mateo.

Because Dyson sucks?

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I still say Randolph Mantooth is the most masculine name.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago

Dranon Dyson sounds like a weirdly cool fantasy/scifi name

[–] JustPlainDave@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't know why, but honk really got me good.

[–] thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Nice to meet you, my name is Honk Ifyoulovejesus

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[–] lime@feddit.nu 6 points 1 week ago

sleve mcdichael sounding ass

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

S'Phyllis

Fallopia

Fellaggio

G'Noriah

Ovaria

Horné

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[–] KingVaelinEats@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Drano Battery is good enough.

[–] caboose2006@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Introducing my newborn son "This is baby Ham Dyson"

[–] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago

No optimus prime or megatron 🥀

[–] ToffeeIsForClosers@piefed.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Reminded me of this oldie but goldie list

Dick Pound!

Honk is a stronk name. Almost as stonk as Grong

[–] DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For the ladies, I always thought Urine (Youreeen) was a beautiful name

[–] CodandChips@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

Ive always liked Chlamydia...

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

My friend names all her d&d characters after parts of the vulva, and it works shockingly well. Just name a man Vas Deferens

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Legendary race car driver...

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[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

Rubella is very popular in 2026.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Gonad Bloke does not sound like a nickname you want.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago
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