Sail your entire fleet of aircraft carriers through the Strait of Hormuz. The strength on display would make them immediately surrender.
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Make sure to do a GWB-style presidential landing on an aircraft carrier once in the strait




:zapp-brannigan:
We killed their schoolgirls, called the new Ayatollah gay and we're all out of ideas!
Have they considered depicting Iran as the crying wojak?
Dunno how much use that'd be against those weird AI generated Lego videos in which Iran's dossier on Trump lists his name as "LOSER"
Don't siege the strait, just take it.
Just take the L.
It's inevitable they have to there's literally no winning this war outside of massive losses and pissing off even more of the population. So I'd imagine eventually they'll just slink off and be like "oh yeah we would have won but the second controller was broken!" then invade Cuba.
"oh yeah we would have won but the second controller was broken!"
You know it's just going to be 'stabbed in the back' again
Even massive losses wouldn't win the war at this point if it ever would have lmao.

get three cows
label them 1, 3 and 4
airdrop them inside iran
while everyone's distracted looking for cow #2, launch a surprise attack
Are they going to start doing weird shit they used to do where they would do things like drop gay porn on their enemies?
The Men Who Stare at Goatse
Airdrop a bunch of magic eye images to distract the enemy and get 'em while their eyes are crossed.
it's all going to be millions of fractured ideas about dousing their weaponry in bacon grease
How to punish Iran:
- Put a whoopie cushion on the ayatollah's chair
- Cover Iran's frat house in toilet paper
- Put dog shit in a paper bag, light it on fire right outside the Iran border, ring the doorbell and run!
- Order like a 100 anchovy pizzas for the ayatollah
Translation: warcrimes.
I really want to see what goes on in the minds of American troops, it would be really convenient if someone leaked that chat of whatever they're saying.
It's just going to be
- murder more civilians
- nuke them
- ask Israel if we can murder less scary Palestinians or Lebanese people instead
Don't forget sexual assault """"jokes"""".
The ven diagram of troop chat and chat on a call of duty lobbies would just be overlapping circles. I don't know if you would really gleam any useful context from a bunch of idiotic 18 year olds. You might learn some new slurs popular with zoomers?
Just go on 4Chan or any right wing discord. It'll be the exact same endless stream of slurs.
Have you tried throwing Iran a pizza party?
It demotivates American workers well enough.
lol
The 2 weeks war is still going on?
You've heard about weeks were decades happen, now get ready for weeks that last decades!
I think literally the only way America could ever win or have won this would be to have done it 30 years ago when its technology and military buildup would have been an advantage, or to like, not piss off both Russia and China and work with one or both (unlikely to be China in either case) to invade and partition it
Or like pick a fucking lane between supporting Iraq vs Iran instead of trying to Both Sides it until Iraq lost and invaded Kuwait
like i literally do not know what the american ruling class is thinking. good for the rest of the world that it couldn't decide and act on a coherent strategy but like my god what is wrong with them
ideas to punish Iran
Is this acceptance that they can't even imagine a winning scenario?
It's just going to be boot marines saying "please sir, please drop a tactical nuke on them"
if I was the USAF I'd ask my guys how to win it instead
Creative and Unconventional is the new Cruel and Unusual.
Okay, here me out.
Pull your dicks out. Now put them in this lil guy right here.... 
Force them to use JavaScript
Damn they should ask a LLM, that will give them allthe groundbreaking and creative ideas they need.
I did this out of curiosity to see what it suggests. It's giving me:
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basically total sanctions and economic blockade. Not gonna work, ya dumb robot, pretty sure they tried it
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basically suggested continuing doing what they're doing, bombing whatever missile/drone/etc areas they can + "precision" strikes on leaders. It's still not working, lying machine!
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have regional allies take the brunt of counter attacks
And it's like lol that's just what they're doing to lose
I asked it to try really hard to think of a good solution for this crisis and it was basically like "try diplomacy" 
I asked it to try really hard to think of a good solution for this crisis and it was basically like "try diplomacy"
When the dumb machine trained to regurgitate sum total of written human stupidity makes more sense than the ones running the show.
You are correct, the Pentagon is not in Iran. I will drop the nuke there next time.

"Can we put Seal Team 6 in a large wooden horse outside of Tehran?"
leave them alone long enough for me, the boot suggesting this, to run out my contract.
make a diplomatic call and ask them if their fridge is running
What if we eroded morale. By creating a cartoon series where Spongebob fights and beats Soleimani.
