If the gold is in an accepted standard form, such as krugerrands, you just need to find a precious metals dealer. If it’s just a pile of gold, then there’s a lot of hassle. I imagine ingots of the sort national gold reserves hold would be somewhere in between.

Shifting a large quantity of gold may require a non-optional explanation of its provenance, with “I woke up and it was just there” or “a genie gave it to me after I did an online quiz” not being adequate, and an inadequate explanation resulting in its forfeiture if not more serious legal hassles. With a large pile of gold and no good explanation, you may be reduced to smurfing small pieces of it to different dealers, moving around a lot and avoiding the attention that such a pile would inevitably draw.

Besides, you never know when the FBI might show up.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/fbi-arrests-former-cia-officer-seizes-40-million-in-gold-bars-from-his-home/ar-AA24htDu

You don't sell the gold. You take 10x loans of gold's worth and use it as collateral. Like banks and billionaires do. Well maybe 100x..

Around $140/gram currently for those curious

But the cash is more liquid. Selling $70M worth of gold is a hassle and would invite unwanted attention. $50M in cash you can spend right away.

So only go with bills if they’re in denominations >$100. I guess this would work better with euros.

Could be that only the outer ones are 100 dollar bills while the inner ones are 1 Dollar bills because they are the same size.

Fun Fact: This is bad for accessibility, thats why the Euro has three indicators for blind people to find the right bill: different sizes, a feelable line structure on the side and different colors for those that can are legally blind but still can see some rough colors.

Good luck liquidating 500kg of gold without someone taking a decent cut. Gold doesn't always increase in value, it's a highly volatile commodity and atm is highly over speculated. More than likely whenever trump dies or leaves the office the market will correct itself to pre-pandemic pricing.

When people who don't understand what fiat currency is get scared by geopolitical instability they buy gold. Whenever those geopolitical instabilities absolve themselves they sell.

You'd probably be better off taking cash and investing it into index stock then taking the time and money to store, transport, and sell that much gold. There's a reason why billionaires are building Scrooge McDuck vaults and swimming in bullions.

A US $1 weighs 1g according to a random website I found on the Internet. I tested and it's close enough.

As of today 2026/06/02, a gram of gold is worth about $140 assuming it's minted and the purity is known.

That honestly surprises me. It means that gold and bills (assuming c-bills) are within an order of magnitude of each other.

Worst case with bill denominations: half a million. Best case with bill denominations: 50 million dollars.

Worst case with gold: $140/g less 10% worst case for verification and bulk buy discounts. $120/g ballpark. $60 million. Best case with gold: ~$70 million dollars upper bound for known minted purity.

So gold has the highest potential return but also the highest overhead.

I'd probably go gold. Even if I lost 50% due to overhead, I'd be able to pay my mortgage and my brother's student loans and for my mum to live in a nice place.

Honestly, any of them would be a life changing amount of money.

a hundred dollar bill weighs a gram and is worth $100, a gram of gold is worth $145. However you'll pay income tax on the gold profit when you sell to get your cash.

78ish million for the gold, and 50 Million for the money.

Ok. 500 kg of dollars, 500kg of gold or 500kg of cheeseburgers. Which do You choose?

Precooked weight if that matters.

Yeah, oh no I have to pay taxes on a massive windfall… Fuck off with that, I want my society to function. I get that it's a big chunk, but it's also free money.

For context:

500kg cash in 100 USD bills (like on the picture) would be roughly 50.000.000 USD.

And 500kg of Gold would currently be 71,396,000 USD.

Yeah, but what's more liquid? I can take those 100s and pay most of my expenses in cash for the rest of my life.

If I take the gold bars, I would have to find a buyer or find a way to convert it into cash. I'm sure most people and places will have questions about how I got the gold bars.

It'd be $100,000 because they're $100 bills

Ez! Find your local CIA agent, exchange the gold for cocaine, go to you local financial district, exchange the cocaine for stocks, sell them immediately at double the price (that's just how the market works when all are motivated by greed), pay capital gain taxes, cash out at a local bank that will charge you like 10% in fees (+10% for the local FBI agent that doesn't want to believe), weight the money, it's exactly 107 bald eagles.