Mitch McConnel could beat Trump in a physical fight, and really should.
this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Dude has never lifted anything heavy in his life. He's never once taken a punch. He's soft like 10-ply. I'd be delighted to demonstrate.
I... don't really know what to think about the 33% of Republicans. Are they unusually self-defeatist? Or do they actually think that this frail old man is really a tough mother fucker?
MAGAs are cowards at their core, afraid of EVERYTHING, and they always vote for a tough guy to protect them. He doesn't really have to be a tough guy, they can be weak-ass loser like Bush or Trump, but the MAGAs are such simpering cowards that they think that's what a tough guy looks and sounds like.
Meanwhile, EVERYBODY else knows he would go down hard with the first punch, tuck into the fetal position and cry. When he goes down, kick him in the ass real hard. Make him blurt out a pathetic painful yelp.
It's the latter
83% of commonly used household items could defeat this man. Versus a motion activated trash can? Fucker ain't got a chance.
I do not want to be anywhere near the guy so not really no.
Jake Paul enjoys boxing matches with elderly celebrities
No thanks, I don't wanna go hand to hand with that stinky motherfucker let alone be in the same room.
Yes, with both arms zip tied together behind my back. I’m sure I could.
He struggles with ramps and walking unassisted. He's an elderly man with dementia. I'm pretty sure a gentle push or some uneven ground could end him.
Republicans are so weak!
I was at the atm earlier today and I was waiting in line. It was taking forever and finally I looked up. It was the tiniest old lady and she was struggling. Y'all know me, of course I intruded and asked her if she needed help. She asked if I could help check her balance. Well, she fell right over.
Say what you will but he has factors in his favor: weight class, doughiness, and (absorbent) padding around the groin to prevent cheap shots.
There are no higher order thinking processes running in that brain either, just pure animalistic id. A concussion-inducing blow doesn’t make any difference if those brain cells were already dead.
I mean, yeah, but he's never lifted a finger in his life.
I'm pretty sure the average adult (male or female) could whoop his ass.
I'm guessing it would take more than one diaper to negate a shot to the family jewels.
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100% of Americans popping off a brisk fart could beat Donald Trump in a fight. The breeze would knock him over, and he wouldn't be able to get back up. A fence would be erected around him ... it could even have his name on it! And he could watch all the people just walk on by, mystified as to why nobody was helping him.
Meme version
Epstein's best friend should not be allowed in the same room as 8 year olds
What if we give the 8 year old a knife and no rules against using it if needed
Well if orangeboi is in the room with a kid, the kid needs it.
Is the eight-year-old bloodlusted?
I’m weak as shit and I could kick his ass. I’m not even the kind of guy that would say something like this but fuck it, this guy fucking sucks.
I'd relish kicking him in the kneecaps
I'm 5ft . 40. Not at my peak. But I have a low center of gravity and American thighs that can crush a watermelon.
I'm in. Let's tag team.
I can come in off the high rope like a champ. Let's go
Kick them in the knee and a hit to the larynx should be enough to get them in a spot you need :)
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The man can't drink water
We could eliminate the national debt by charging people money for a crack at him.
Sneeze on him from behind and he'll faceplant.
Apparently the average Republican has seen so many muscle-man AI photos of Trump that they think they're incapable of even that
I mean the ~~high heels~~ bone spurs alone have tripped him up several times, publicly. One hay-fever sneeze would be devastating.
Just let him punch you, he won't be able to recover from that.
Be careful not to let him punch too hard, or he may die.
So 66% of Republicans are fucking cowards. Not that we didn't know that already.
MAGA is My Absolutely Gigantic Amygdala after all.
If you can walk all the way around a block you can defeat this man via cardio and never throw a punch.
None 🤔
Anything fast and smart enough to bait him into overextending a kick could put him on the ground in a way he'd have a hard time recovering from. I've got a friend with a toddler who could be trained for it in a day or two. My 30lb dog could do it easily if he'd pay attention to the same lessons.
I wish I could say the same but my dogs are dumb as hell and the big one waits for me to go down the stairs while standing in front of me blocking the stairs. He also does this going up the stairs, going through a hallway, doorway, literally anywhere. He is too large to step over and stands at an angle to take up as much room as possible
Do I get any weapons?
Not that I'd need them ... that would just make it more fun. Plus, maybe my hands wouldn't end up stained orange. Not asking for much. A board with a nail in it would suffice.
A lighter would be nice.
I bet a clue by four would be cathartic
I would tear through that geriatric fucking piece of shit like he was made of tissue paper. He's basicslly a real life Montgomery Burns.
Idk if I could. Doesn't mean I don't want to.
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