this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
158 points (94.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

39351 readers
5253 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 89 points 4 weeks ago (8 children)

Obviously next to House. He wants his seat neighbors to stfu and let him sleep. I want the same. It's perfect.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 33 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Five minutes into the flight, he's going to have this really nervous, embraced look on his face. Ten minutes in, he's going to kinda try to catch your attention. Fifteen minutes in, he's going to give you the most exasperated sigh and announce "It's lupus. You've got lupus. You need to begin treatment as soon as we land."

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 18 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm unclear whether that's supposed to be a deterrent from sitting there.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Won't stop him from diagnosising you with Lupus

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Problem is that you're still pretty close to Butt-Head (I assume Muscle Man is polite enough to be reasonably quiet). Granted you get an aisle seat so you can occasionally "go to the bathroom" to get some peace and quiet (edit: and House might be willing to slip Beavis and Butt-Head, the former especially, some Vicodin for you because he also wants them to shut up.)

Then again, sitting in or near the very back might save your life with Beavis and Butt-Head aboard. (edit 2: Forgot this wouldn't be possible after 9/11.)

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Sibilantjoe@lemmy.world 43 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

The presence of Kazuma and Aqua guarantee that there will be no peace on this flight no matter where one is seated.

[–] sik0fewl@piefed.ca 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

And Aqua is pretty small (more shoulder room) and 10 is an aisle seat, might as well 🤷‍♂️.

[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Plus they’ve probably got alcohol to share, so sitting in 10. Guaranteed not to be bored.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

House. He'd ignore me the whole time.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Hugh Laurie is an accomplished blues and jazz musician i would not miss that chance to get ignored by someone that fancy

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 18 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

1 easy choice. Those two have stories for days. Normally I don't want to be bothered but that would be interesting enough to be fun.

[–] muxika@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago

Exactly. You get a moment to share with some of the craziest people, you take it. Also, they'll probably buy you a drink.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] xav@programming.dev 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
  1. Don't tell me, I don't want to know.
[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

someone do tell him, I want to know

[–] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Pink haired one is kind albeït a bit slow. The white haired one is probably smuggling contraband and is not afraid to trample you in an emergency. Beating up Beavis for snickering at their horse ears constitutes an emergency.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Glide@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

My man, I can't grow up on Kevin Smith films and miss the opportunity to sit between him and Jason Mewes. Are we kidding?

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] moonshadow@slrpnk.net 14 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

5 for the weed, 9 for the jams

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

5, I can count on some silence.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Are you kidding me? Jay won't ever shut the hell up, so he'll be talking to you the whole flight about shit

Might get a good buzz, or at least a plug which can be useful.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl 9 points 3 weeks ago

damn, i barely recognize anyone.

[–] Flames5123@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

4 4 4 4 4 4 4 please oh god 4 4 4 please. Best cat boi. 9 is also fine because bbno$ is really chill.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Zoldyck@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

5 hoping they have some edibles on them

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Five, swap seats with Silent Bob, throw on headphones, hope Beavis and Butthead don't crash the plane

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JayDee@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

100% this plane's crashing.

[–] Omegamanthethird@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

5

Endless entertainment, whether they're in character or not.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

9, maybe I can peg bbno$ too. 😏

[–] oppy1984 7 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

9 Easy, you get to sit next to Lemmy.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] Don_alForno@feddit.org 7 points 3 weeks ago

7, for sure. House doesn't want to talk, I don't want to talk, we're cool.

[–] dasrael@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 weeks ago
[–] TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

House and CJ. While House and I knock back a few drinks, CJ would clip any possible plane highjacker.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 weeks ago

I'm checking myself in as cargo.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

fuck it, 7, at least by the end i'll know i have no illness mysterious enough to warrant his attention

[–] zout@fedia.io 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
  1. Lemmy was by all accounts a genuinely great guy. (I know, this the shitposting community)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] gegil@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 weeks ago

1 or 8, i want a seat near a window

House and CJ, thanks. Both of them basically just want to chill. But frankly with the way that plane is going to be, I'd leave the airport and take a train or a bus.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

5 no question, we would have so much fun

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

7 no question Hugh and I are leading the whole plane in Minnie the Moocher the whole flight.

HO DI HO DI HO DI HO

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

5 if you want interesting.

7 if you want an angry doctor to insult you and ignore you for the remainder of the flight while he sleeps after a couple vicodin.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

7, 4, or 10.

I'm all about the aisle seat, know I don't have lupus, and generally do not give of the vibe that I will talk to anyone at any time. Happy to get up when you need, and love to be hydrated.

And whatever the character is next to 2 looks... ripe.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago

1 if ozzy is alive.

2 is ok, brewstew might have some stories worth hearing.

3 might go well, would probably go very wrong.

  1. I don't know what Ferris did to have to sit next to durst.

  2. Hell yes, just to talk shop with Smith and Mewes.

  3. Haven't watched Pretty Derby, prob not for me

  4. House and GTA, hell yes

  5. Don't watch Cr1tiKal, and I think ash would be annoying, but petting his pokemon might be fun

  6. If lemmy was alive, maybe, don't know anything about bbno$

  7. Don't watch konosuba

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago

definitely 7. idk who the person in front is, but I'm SURE Dr. House would be so entertaining to sit next to and Charlie is literally the best possible person to sit behind me.

[–] FriedRice@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago

Jay would be turned around in his seat macking on the waifus.

'So, are you, like, 18 in horse years, or what?'

[–] ijustliketrains@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

6 so I can kick House’s chair.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

7, but only so I can regale House with the saga that was my lupus diagnosis.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›