this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 89 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Obviously next to House. He wants his seat neighbors to stfu and let him sleep. I want the same. It's perfect.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Five minutes into the flight, he's going to have this really nervous, embraced look on his face. Ten minutes in, he's going to kinda try to catch your attention. Fifteen minutes in, he's going to give you the most exasperated sigh and announce "It's lupus. You've got lupus. You need to begin treatment as soon as we land."

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm unclear whether that's supposed to be a deterrent from sitting there.

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[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Won't stop him from diagnosising you with Lupus

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[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Problem is that you're still pretty close to Butt-Head (I assume Muscle Man is polite enough to be reasonably quiet). Granted you get an aisle seat so you can occasionally "go to the bathroom" to get some peace and quiet (edit: and House might be willing to slip Beavis and Butt-Head, the former especially, some Vicodin for you because he also wants them to shut up.)

Then again, sitting in or near the very back might save your life with Beavis and Butt-Head aboard. (edit 2: Forgot this wouldn't be possible after 9/11.)

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[–] Sibilantjoe@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago (4 children)

The presence of Kazuma and Aqua guarantee that there will be no peace on this flight no matter where one is seated.

[–] sik0fewl@piefed.ca 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And Aqua is pretty small (more shoulder room) and 10 is an aisle seat, might as well 🤷‍♂️.

[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Plus they’ve probably got alcohol to share, so sitting in 10. Guaranteed not to be bored.

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[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

House. He'd ignore me the whole time.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Hugh Laurie is an accomplished blues and jazz musician i would not miss that chance to get ignored by someone that fancy

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

1 easy choice. Those two have stories for days. Normally I don't want to be bothered but that would be interesting enough to be fun.

[–] muxika@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Exactly. You get a moment to share with some of the craziest people, you take it. Also, they'll probably buy you a drink.

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[–] xav@programming.dev 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  1. Don't tell me, I don't want to know.
[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

someone do tell him, I want to know

[–] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pink haired one is kind albeït a bit slow. The white haired one is probably smuggling contraband and is not afraid to trample you in an emergency. Beating up Beavis for snickering at their horse ears constitutes an emergency.

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[–] Glide@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago (9 children)

My man, I can't grow up on Kevin Smith films and miss the opportunity to sit between him and Jason Mewes. Are we kidding?

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[–] moonshadow@slrpnk.net 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

5 for the weed, 9 for the jams

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[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

5, I can count on some silence.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Are you kidding me? Jay won't ever shut the hell up, so he'll be talking to you the whole flight about shit

Might get a good buzz, or at least a plug which can be useful.

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[–] A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl 9 points 1 month ago

damn, i barely recognize anyone.

[–] Flames5123@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

4 4 4 4 4 4 4 please oh god 4 4 4 please. Best cat boi. 9 is also fine because bbno$ is really chill.

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[–] JayDee@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

100% this plane's crashing.

[–] Omegamanthethird@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

5

Endless entertainment, whether they're in character or not.

[–] Zoldyck@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

5 hoping they have some edibles on them

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Five, swap seats with Silent Bob, throw on headphones, hope Beavis and Butthead don't crash the plane

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[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

9, maybe I can peg bbno$ too. 😏

[–] oppy1984 7 points 1 month ago (9 children)

9 Easy, you get to sit next to Lemmy.

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[–] Don_alForno@feddit.org 7 points 1 month ago

7, for sure. House doesn't want to talk, I don't want to talk, we're cool.

[–] dasrael@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago
[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago

I'm checking myself in as cargo.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

fuck it, 7, at least by the end i'll know i have no illness mysterious enough to warrant his attention

[–] zout@fedia.io 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  1. Lemmy was by all accounts a genuinely great guy. (I know, this the shitposting community)
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[–] gegil@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago

1 or 8, i want a seat near a window

House and CJ, thanks. Both of them basically just want to chill. But frankly with the way that plane is going to be, I'd leave the airport and take a train or a bus.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

5 no question, we would have so much fun

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

7 no question Hugh and I are leading the whole plane in Minnie the Moocher the whole flight.

HO DI HO DI HO DI HO

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

5 if you want interesting.

7 if you want an angry doctor to insult you and ignore you for the remainder of the flight while he sleeps after a couple vicodin.

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[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

7, 4, or 10.

I'm all about the aisle seat, know I don't have lupus, and generally do not give of the vibe that I will talk to anyone at any time. Happy to get up when you need, and love to be hydrated.

And whatever the character is next to 2 looks... ripe.

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

1 if ozzy is alive.

2 is ok, brewstew might have some stories worth hearing.

3 might go well, would probably go very wrong.

  1. I don't know what Ferris did to have to sit next to durst.

  2. Hell yes, just to talk shop with Smith and Mewes.

  3. Haven't watched Pretty Derby, prob not for me

  4. House and GTA, hell yes

  5. Don't watch Cr1tiKal, and I think ash would be annoying, but petting his pokemon might be fun

  6. If lemmy was alive, maybe, don't know anything about bbno$

  7. Don't watch konosuba

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

definitely 7. idk who the person in front is, but I'm SURE Dr. House would be so entertaining to sit next to and Charlie is literally the best possible person to sit behind me.

[–] FriedRice@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

Jay would be turned around in his seat macking on the waifus.

'So, are you, like, 18 in horse years, or what?'

[–] ijustliketrains@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

6 so I can kick House’s chair.

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[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

7, but only so I can regale House with the saga that was my lupus diagnosis.

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