this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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IBM 1979 variant (lemmy.today)
submitted 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) by violet08@lemmy.today to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 
top 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] voodooattack@lemmy.world 1 points 14 minutes ago

Do you wanna see a self-propagating cosmic shitpost nucleation site?

https://mastodon.social/@voodooattack/116200229849205562

Please observe it, or don’t. But not at once because I’ll have to cognitively engineer another perfect quicksave for the perfectly ideal run.

Beware this Egg, my dudes. Because there are only scrambled reasons behind these puns. And puns wanna go to war with guns that stun. And I just came baring punmunition. (Not in that way you dirty bastards, that was an accidental variable I swear! (But swearing is a valid response))

Steadfast is the slow poke… at the non-zero-pun.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)


we can make a horny computer

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

But what if, and hear me out on this, what if we gave it all the RAM?

[–] wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Padme meme: "you mean all the ram in the computer, right?"

Anakin:

Padme: "you mean all the RAM in the computer, right?"

[–] ReCursing@feddit.uk 48 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Inkjet printers are definitely spiteful

[–] MoffKalast@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

You know that trope where there's an amalgam big bad of all kinds of crap thrown together with something ironic in the center controlling it all? Someone ought to do Vger but it's just an inkjet printer and it wants everyone dead because of course it does.

[–] greyscale@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Yes, but they contain human engineered contempt.

Its not their own creation.

[–] ReCursing@feddit.uk 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Oh I'm not convinced of that

[–] greyscale@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 56 minutes ago

Ink on demand is entirely a business model made manifest by human contempt for the consumer.

[–] deadymouse@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago

At that time, people did not yet suspect that their creativity and soul were just patters that could be copied thanks to a stable database and sufficient computing power.

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Digital artists in shambles

[–] FreeBeard@slrpnk.net 36 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

The lesser known 34th rule of robotics proposed by Isaac Asimov.

[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 33 points 9 hours ago (2 children)
[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 9 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

How would that even work? If a robot is sexually attracted to a human it's more of a zoophilia, right?

[–] b_tr3e@feddit.org 6 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

"Robosexuality", according to Futurama.

[–] MoffKalast@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

"The good book 3.0 saith, 'Thou shall not lie down with a human! Nor do it standing up, nor at any angle in between!'" - Preacherbot

[–] b_tr3e@feddit.org 2 points 3 hours ago

One-zero-zero.-one-zero-zero-zero.-one-one-one-zero.-one-zero-one-one-one-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-one-one-one-one-zero-one-zero-zero-zero--zero-zero.-one-zero-zero-zero.-one-one-one-zero.-one-zero-one-one-one-zero

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

That's the other way around human -> robot

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] b_tr3e@feddit.org 1 points 6 minutes ago* (last edited 4 minutes ago)

"Anthroposexuality" might be the term,. you're looking for.
(Might spoil the original pun but opens a lot of really weird questions.)

[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 12 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Just build a robot that understands consent, easy

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, that may be more difficult than it sounds, because many meatbags struggle with the concept even today.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 points 5 hours ago

Copilot certainly isn't getting it.

[–] lasta@piefed.world 14 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Some of your computers are horny by proxy. Contact horn.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 8 points 9 hours ago

My computer is 100% spiteful unless its machine spirit is placated with the proper ritual.

[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

"can never"?

Must never implies that it can, but if it does, something bad will happen.

[–] LSNLDN@slrpnk.net 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] b_tr3e@feddit.org 2 points 7 hours ago

Well, why do you think birds are singing? Humans are singing for very similar reasons - and let's just not talk about playing the guitar...

[–] b_tr3e@feddit.org 1 points 7 hours ago

I think it was Matisse who when askes how he could still paint with his arthritic hands replied: "Painting is mostly the work of a very different part of my body."