Some zoomer out there realized they didn't want to be vaporized by an Iranian cruise missile and jammed some towels down the hatch. Smart move
this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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The CIA sabotage handbook actually recommends tennis balls for that.
Sewage is stored in the tennis balls
Sure, but who do you think wrote that thing. I'd bet dollars to donuts it was the CIA.
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all shit some of their pants, but some shit all of their pants
iranians about to find out why we don't have healthcare 😤
Americans invading Iran shocked to witness working toilets for the first time
Yeah, of COURSE they have to go in to fix their one-off, never before implemented or repaired plumbing system.
They couldn't just let commodes flush the way they have since the days of yore, and use gravity. Instead, some dumbass decided the poop equivalent of the banking tube system was what a ship carrying nearly five thousand assholes (literal and figurative) needed to implement. For a first go at it.
They literally tried to adapt cruise ship lavatories to save money and it will end up costing them so much more fucking money now
Tbf 5k people just shitting and pissing straight into the ocean is an environmental catastrophe
Like the USMIC is obviously an environmental catastrophe but this would make it incrementally worse
Absolutely. It's all bespoke. I was aware they tried copying cruise ship lines, but for Uncle Sam it's the first implementation.
By using a specialty plumbing system they have ensured: parts will never be cheap, or readily available. Because the USG only fucks with 100% domestic origin goods, those parts are on a short list of availability. Because they are likely bespoke, the list is even shorter. They won't be sourcing from the same established vendors the cruise industry sources from unless somehow the entire supply chain is US supplied.
The USG doesn't have their own turd wranglers, so now they have to find overseas turd wranglers that can be approved to venture onto an active military ship, to fix the fuckin john. Or they keep it American, and fly in turd wranglers to fix the fucking john who specialize in cruise-line style waste evacuation systems.
I've done a contract working on a cruise ship and I can tell you even the ones there are a pain in the ass for maintenance. Making your own from scratch is an awful idea.
Interesting, I guess this is how they end up with $10000 toilet seats or whatever the meme complaint was
It does work out well for the military contractors
The military toilet version of a 2000s BMW oil change
Critical support to irritable bowel syndrome in its endless defense of oppressed peoples.
My worst IBS issues were during deployment, stress will do that to you. Having to worry about if you'll make it to the shitter in time.
US soldiers hanging ass off the flight deck over the ocean to drop a dookie
Praying for a leaked conversation between a sailor and his commanding officer after he was fished out of the sea with no pants because he tried to avoid the bathroom lines
Oh that sailor is drowning for sure
Woke ended this hallowed tradition
Men in the army used to be able to shit into the ocean from the deck, but not now, because of WOKE.
UH, IS THE POOP DECK REALLY WHAT I THINK IT IS?
“Nothing in life is more important than the ability to defecate effectively” - Gerald R. Ford
good thing the pentagon has never been audited. increase that budget by $1 trillion and still nothing works right. The US military isnt prepared for a real conflict. Good.
Reporting for doody 
I can't not read that in Dana Carvey's Tom Brokaw voice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tX6jdoruH8
"USS Gerald Ford found dead today because of backed up toilets"
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I feel like spiritually you're playing dumb games to attack a Muslim nation during Ramadan and I'm frankly surprised it's only broken toilets
Doing the pee pee dance in my sailor hat.
Sorry Mr. President, war's canceled. The Ford is too busy using it's flight deck as a temporary poop deck.
Aren't they... on water? Surprised the US MIC cares about the environment enough to not just flush it to the sea
comrade skibidi
Real warriors hold it for the duration of the war!
Dumbfuck Pete, probably
You have a whole deck for that!
Its like that uboat that sunk because someone flushed the toilet wrong
Kinda funny that the invasion of Iran has been put off due to a literal interpretation of "what makes it the poop deck?"
Chuck off the side with the planes
So good that the pipes are too small on this ... dual nuke plant ship.
The USS Gerald Ford is now equipped with stink ray torpedos
poop cruise 2.0 
Why don't they just go to the poop deck... are they stupid?
The boys are taking some patriot sized dumps. Gawdbless
Me, a serious political analyst in 2026: Uhh, poo poo pee pee.
Bryan Quinby doing on-location research for navy guys
It's a ship, just poop off the side. RETVRN!
even a broken toilet is right twice a day...
uh. i guess when it engulfs the ass of some officer in a poonami?
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