this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 162 points 3 weeks ago (14 children)

A vegetable wouldn't hurt you.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 103 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 53 points 3 weeks ago

Stop it, you're killing him!

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[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 50 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

It would if it fell on your head. Checkmate atheists.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Hackworth@piefed.ca 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 21 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Potatoes could. The leaves, sprouts, and underground stems (tubers) of potatoes contain a toxic substance called glycoalkaloid. Glycoalkaloids make a potato look green when it's exposed to light, gets damaged, or ages. Eating potatoes with a high glycoalkaloid content can cause nausea, diarrhea, confusion, headaches, and death.

Also, the sentient mutant vegetables on Atrack of the Killer Tomatoes will definitely want to do harm toward OP.

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago

Not to mention, if you try to swallow a potato whole (as one does), you risk choking to death.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

From what I understand, green potatoes are rendered harmless by boiling, as the poisons are water soluble. Though they are not rendered inactive by boiling, they are diffused through the water, rendering it inadvisable to reuse for boiling other foods. Following that, harvesting these poisons is relatively easy and a good way to get Cheney, that asshole, to keep to his own fucking food.

Not disagreeing, trying to keep food waste down.

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[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm a vegetarian once removed. A lot of the animals I eat were vegetarians.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

A chicken would eat you if it could

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 9 points 3 weeks ago

Hogs eat anything you put in their trough and I mean anything.

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[–] Triumph@fedia.io 103 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

Would a medieval peasant have access to that much meat?

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 68 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

King Richard I was once captured for ransom while traveling undercover trough Austria.

His cover was blown specifically because he tried ordering a roast chicken.

There are a few variations of the details in this story though, a peasant could definitely have owned a chicken and eaten it when it died but it was probably way more valuable to sell it.

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[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 34 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes, they had chickens back then.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] mtpender@piefed.social 12 points 3 weeks ago

"The tall, skinny ones are confused, Brother..."

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 33 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Doubtful, most common meal for peasants would have been a sort of stew of vegetables and oats called pottage.

A whole chicken would have been prohibitively expensive either to purchase or in lost money from sale at market, same for pork or beef.

Fish though would be plentiful and cheap and a valuable source of protein. Oysters were considered peasant food until pretty much the 20th century.

Wheat bread similarly would have been a rare luxury, especially made from refined white flour, rye and buckwheat, roughly ground would be far more common.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I read this comment in Max Miller's voice and it definitely enhanced it

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[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 3 weeks ago

They'd have access, but you're not wrong, a peasant probably isn't going to waste that much on a single meal.

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[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 56 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Even in the 1960s eating a whole chicken would have been a luxury, this isn't peasant food, that's the gout inducing diet of a king

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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Soft white bread? Nobody but rich upper class people could afford soft white bread until well past the industrial revolution.

That's also a pretty large roasted bird that's being eaten in complete absence of stew.

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[–] timestatic@feddit.org 40 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

A medieval peasant on a celebration day. I doubt they could eat a whole as chicken every day

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Depends on which era honestly. The medieval period lasted for nearly a thousand years and could very about as much as one would expect, so for example a very well off peasant during the high medieval period maybe could have eaten a whole ass chicken for a while at least. Probably wouldn't have though, at least not without turning it into soup or a sandwich equivalent.

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[–] Stern@lemmy.world 39 points 3 weeks ago (12 children)

Skyrim ass meal. need a wheel of cheese with it.

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[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh damn, that's a fucking feast! Peasents can't afford that shit.

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[–] john_t@piefed.ee 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent chicken meal?", "Get your hand off my baguette!"

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[–] JAPHacake@feddit.uk 29 points 3 weeks ago

More like a medieval king.

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

You're eating like Final Fight.
(Hits a trashcan)
Roasted chicken.
(Hits some tires)
Bread.
100% health let's go!!!

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[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 25 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)

Peasants? Even many nobles didn't eat like that every day.

People think that the typical nobleman in the Middle Ages ate like King Henry VIII. That isn't true. Did you know that they determined that at least at a few points in Vlad the Impaler's life he was basically living on a vegan diet? They ate a hell of a lot of vegetables and grains because meat was still expensive for everyone involved.

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[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

If by "peasant" you mean "knight of the fucking round table" then yes

[–] AHorseWithNoNeigh@piefed.social 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] mlg@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

No one before the 1930s had access to such a large breed of chicken lol.

They probably would have confused this picture with a miniature Turkey.

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[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (15 children)

A few things to unpack here.

  • That chicken is roasted nicely, but I completely understand if that was bought in that condition at the grocer's.
  • Plain bread is a travesty. it needs to be either toasted and/or you need some melted butter or gravy to sop up.
  • Pair this with some fruit or pan seared/roasted vegetables. Even microwaved beans would make this nutritious. Takes very little effort, very easy to do.
  • Even peasants had access to beer, ale, or home-made short-beer/kvass. Gotta calorie-max so you can work in the field tomorrow. Plus, the alcohol helps with the constant muscle-aches and fatigue from endless labor.

There are innumerable ways to elevate this meal, but I'll keep this comment short. Anyone, feel free to message me or reply here if you want tips for that.

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[–] DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago

A medieval peasant would be wishing they could est like this.

[–] Eat_Your_Paisley@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The person for sure needs to learn how to cook

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[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

Peasants? That wpuld be a medieval noble

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 12 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

Looks pretty good, but I'd like some BBQ sauce, at least.

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[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

........why does this gif exist???

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[–] thethrilloftime69@feddit.online 10 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

You're going to be constipated

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[–] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Minecraft dinner

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Reminds me of a pretty recent game called Pentiment that's like an old school point and click adventure about a murder in a middle age German Abby where a bunch of conversations happen over meals & who you eat with can have an effect on a bunch if stuff in the game. it was pretty cool to include and I'm guessing they tried to go for some accuracy considering how much detail they use on the foods.

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[–] heiligerbimbam@lemmy.wtf 10 points 3 weeks ago

😂 I don't think I eat that much meat in a whole month, but I also "cook" very simply. Quantity and taste are more important than style.

[–] arc99@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

A lazy supermarket special - a roast chicken in a bag and a baguette roll picked up on the way to the checkout. We've all been there and I'm sure it makes a passable meal, but cooking is a skill everyone should endeavour to be proficient in.

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[–] robocall@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's a US$5 Costco rotisserie

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