If I had received this text, I would consider myself lucky
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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Bullet: dodged
Carbs: acquired
All hail the bread.
\[T]/ 🥖
Fuck bitches, eat bread
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"Everybody knows [...]" means my parent(s) had some weird or strict rules and life lessons that I had hounded into me which I internalized into my very being and never questioned, and now I have unspoken and often unrealistic expectations of people and the world that no one has absolutely any reason to know about.
Guess they love cold bread!
Genuinely, I believe this originates from their family preventing them from filling up on bread at restaurants.
I remember meeting someone in high school that was confused that everyone was eating and drinking in the same meal. Because in their house and extremely limited world view, you EAT. Then you leave the table and go DRINK.
Families really mess some people up with their made up rules. Meet a girl that was raised that you can't talk at the dinner table. She thought it was normal to sit down, eat an entire meal, and then get up in dead silence.
I think you're right. I guess they had parents who were big on setting rules, but not on justifying them.
I'm pretty sure my parents throttled my bread intake at restaurants when I was very young for the reason you state, but they accompanied their directive with a "don't fill up before you get your main course" justification. So I didn't assimilate it as a rule of etiquette, and instead understood the underlying logic.
Ehh ... It's more likely etiquette to not descend on the rolls like a starving Labrador retriever. Much of manners is about self restraint and making oneself 'small'. The idea is that you wait a minute or two, so it's not like being at the Chinese food buffet when a fresh load of sweet and sour pork comes out. Everyone piling in for the rolls is undignified. It's related to the idea that even if you really want that last roll, you ask if anyone else would like it before snatching it for yourself.
... but judging someone for grabbing one when they come out? Pretty prissy.
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That is a red flag text.
"After seeing you enjoy good food as it was intended, I don't think I want to continue this. Everyone knows food must only be eaten after you upload pictures of it to Instagram and get a certain number of interactions."
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"What am I suppose to Jerry!? Just ADMIRE it??"
Yeah, wait for the bread to stop being warm and fresh before you eat.
One person's red flags are another person's dodged bullets.
Its called a stupid excuse.
Dodged a bullet, etc., but still, why? What's the thinking here as to why you should wait to start eating the bread?
To signal wealth
Only the poors enjoy bread enough to reach for it immediately.
I thought it was five seconds. Five minutes maybe for the last roll if you've had two or three already. I can't stand it when everyone is so damn polite not wanting to take the last one of a shared food item to the point of allowing it to go to waste. Give it a fair pause but then take that last roll or cookie or whatever if you want it.
I mean I prefer to have a roll while they're still warm.
I give everyone an easy out in that situation, because the people I eat with just look at me by default to take the last one. It did take a while of me saying, "Well if no one else wants it, I'll take it," to get to that point.
I'd reply with 'I don't like people who can't use capital letters anyway' since we're going with unimportant things.
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That wasn't the real reason.
Also, hot bread is fantastic.
'you have shit on your head'
'it's chocolate!'
'oh thank fuck'
'can I come in now'
'no'
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She's confusing the rule about eating food dropped on the floor. SMH. 😔
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Nice, dodged a bullet
“We have a rule, if you order the nachos to share, one person can’t just eat all the fully loaded nachos.”
Unless they're all stuck together, and then it counts as one big nacho.
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These posts are fake guys.
400 points upvoted and didnt even happen.
ok and now what it's still kinda funny
TRANSLATION: "You have to choose! It's either me or the bread!"
Oh that's easy
Ok serious question. I live in a country where they don't serve you free bread.
What do you do if you eat all the delicious bread then you aren't hungry anymore?
I had this real life scenario happen when I was in Canada and we felt obligated to order mains even though we didn't want them.
Is it socially acceptable to pay for your drinks and leave?
No, it's not. You just take the food home and then eat it later.
Yeah, we go to Spaghetti Factory (Canada) and fill up on bread and just tip the main course directly into leftovers containers sometimes.
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I think the rule being followed is "post ragebait to farm engagement"
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Dumbest escape excuse ever.
Somebody read a post about negging but couldn't think of a real thing to be an asshole about.
"I'm sorry I wasted my time, R. All the best"
You guys are getting free bread?
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