Microblog Memes

It's an earned name, like Cannibal Johnson or Thorkell the Tall.

.......you think pugs are chickens?

I looked at it and heard that song "He's a hap-py, happy dog. He's a happy, happy hap-py dog."

I hadn't noticed that, but you're right. Like, you can tell that he's not even bracing himself in anticipation as you sometimes see dogs doing when they're trying their best to ignore the food — he makes it look effortless. What a good boy

"Here's a bunch of free shit, hey cool dog! Do you want the cash register before I go?"

Yeah! Me too! I was going to eat that whole bag!

This has to be a rite of passage or something because I pretty much did the same thing. I was a 19 yr old working at Burger King as a shift manager. It was a bright and beautiful Sunday morning, my last day at the job, and I was about to start my new career the very next day.

I was flying high and I could not even attempt to give two shits about Burger King. We did full inventory and ordered food for the week on Sundays, everyone hated doing this so they made me do it as much as possible.

I got the bright idea to have a BBQ at my new job in the morning so I fudged the numbers and walked out with 1 case of whopper patties, 1 case of hamburger patties, enough buns to cover them all, the veggies, and a BK crown.

Lol best bbq ever the next day and I got to start my new job with an awesome first impression. I networked with so many random people which has actually boosted my career to this day.

The moral of my story is... Stealing from Burger King is.. good..?

You remind me of that scene where Mr incredible works at the insurance office.

Real heroes don’t wear capes.

I used to work escalation support for a door and window company, and we had full discretion to give people free shit to keep them happy “within reason”. See, doors and windows are really expensive, and warranties are serious business when you are talking $20k in product, so reputation is important. We were the step below the core product experts with the company, who handled anyone who was talking lawyers.

I hated that job because, like any call center, they never fired anyone for not doing their job properly/well, so I gave away a lot of free stuff in protest. Like a lot. Examples include:

• Oh you are a 10 months outside of warranty for the whole house of windows that’s just started failing? No problem, we’ll honor it and send out an inspector to get the full scope, order the replacements, then install them.
• Oh you are missing a piece, but you mentioned the thing it’s attached to isn’t working that well, so I’ll just send a whole new unit for you, instead, and just charge for the small piece.
• You’ve just ordered this replacement part that’s outside of warranty, I’ll include some stuff to keep it working well for you.
• Ok we can’t figure out which specific part it is that you need, so I’m going to send the entire kit.
• If you only replace this one piece on the door it will be aged differently than the rest, so I’ll send you a whole new set of hardware.

The only thing you needed to do to get free stuff from me was be nice, and have a need I could fill for free. If you were mean, not just frustrated but mean, to me or my tier 1 agents, I’d get real stubborn real quick. That served as a lovely smokescreen so nobody really caught on to the plethora of goodies I gave away, though I saw my giveaway stats and they were considerably higher than anyone else. But it meant I got great feedback, so they didn’t do anything about it except tell me to cut it back where I could. lol ok sure I’ll get right on that.

Small thing overall but I got what I could out of it.

This is the way we should all be at our shitty jobs. Maybe not this extreme unless you know youre quitting, but sprinkle a few refunds in every week, see what you feel comfortable with and/or can get away with.

Let's face it those of us in USA aren't going to general strike or anything any time soon. Least we can do is the little rebellions.

At work (flight attendant) if someone's card declines....no it doesn't. If someone is nice i fake swipe. And i do free upgrades when it makes sense (tall people and passengers-of-size as a priority). It used to be the norm i think, but now we have to be a bit cheeky with it.

Also please use all of your sick time and vacation time every year, or you are just giving your ceo/owner a bonus.

You seem like a good person. The world is cruel, especially to those who care.

Nothing ever happens.

Also, the bag would look a lot heavier and greasy if it was actually full.

Depends on the location. If they have high volume lunches or dinners they're likely to have a massive amount. People regularly order 10 piece nuggets and children pretty much only eat nuggets. If you just get 1 family of 4 ordering a 10 piece each that's already 40. Then you have 6 cars waiting in the drive thru and there's a line in the lobby.

That's a lotta nuggets! I believe this man.

Edit: I just ordered 60 nuggets😹

Yeah I found it a bit fishy too. Only because I was a fat ass who tried to order 60 nuggets, and the cashier said. "um... One moment." And had to run around to see if they could make it.

I could see quitting guy slowly putting extra nuggies in a bag for himself over the course of the day and decided to hand it over to dog dude because he liked the name ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ahh but you missed the part where the totally-real guy said he was giving free shit away like crazy, and thus he was making extra specifically to do this

He'd be an outside dog for at least 24hrs lol

Probably similar to what would happen if you ate the equivalent of your own body weight. Try it!

Yeah visors. You guys don't have it?

https://gem.app/product/mcdonalds-employee-visor-uniform-restaurant

The workers wear hats. I'm guessing he means one of those