Okokimup

The Between by Ryan Leslie.

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Thanks for sharing. I really like his work.

Imagine Dragons. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding is:

They picked up hate for being marketed like they're some kind of super hard rock, even though they're not. But their music is good for the genre it is. The lead singer was raised Mormon, but is now an activist for LGBT youth.

You're right, we should give in to despair and stop enjoying things.

/s

Someone brought this up in another current thread: consider your end goal. What result do you want from an interaction, and how can you act in a way most likely to make that happen?

So often we react in an emotional way, and act like punishing someone else because they behaved inappropriately is the only just response. And i'm not saying you should ignore bad behavior or that no one should experience consequences for their actions. This advice is literally just to consider your options, to determine what course of action will most likely get what you desire rather than what feels good in the moment.

I used to know an old man who would respond to "how are you" with an enthusiastic "fantastic!" and then an apologetic "but I hope to get better."

Do only as much as I feel like. Don't feel like making dinner, but i'm ok just setting out the ingredients. OK, now I'm fine with just chopping vegetables. Now I'm fine just making the sauce. It only works if you genuinely allow yourself to stop at any point. If I have to stop after the sauce, everything goes into the fridge and I finish making the meal tomorrow.

Opposite but same: the thing i loved about minimum wage jobs (like fast food) was that I didn't have to care about the job. Not to say I did it poorly because I have pride in myself and empathy for customers, but I didnt have to tie myself in knots to please a company that I didnt owe anything to. Pizza hut treating me like shit? No problem, papa John's is across the street and hiring. I was very open about this attitude with managers and they didnt care because I was as replaceable to them as they were to me, so as long as we were both benefiting from the relationship it was fine.

I used to work at a dry cleaners with a drive through for pickup. You could hand the clothes to the driver through their windows or hang them in the back seat. I Learned if I asked "would you like me to hang these in the back?" The answer was almost always no, because people don't want you to go to any trouble for them. If i asked "can I hang these in the back?" The answer was almost always yes because people don't like telling you that you can't do something.

The opposite also works: ask someone for a small favor, and they'll be more kindly disposed to you in the future. You've made being kind to you a part of their identity and behavior.

"Don't borrow trouble" is one of my mottos.