this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2026
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I never really felt much of a connection with this guy, despite sticking it out for over a year with him. Hes very insistent that I take almost 3 hours out of my day to do in person visits and has threatened to charge me as a cancelation if I still demanded virtual, I haven't felt the ability to be honest with him about larger issues than what I discuss, and frankly I would get nervous to talk to him before a lot of sessions. I had a therapist before that I connected with better, but that was 3 years ago almost and I had to stop when I lost my last job.

Im already in the process of getting back with my past therapist, who seemed much warmer to me. When I had to stop seeing her, i cried, whereas with this guy, I'm nervous he'll try to talk me out of dropping him.

On the bus to go do it now, send me your good vibes pls

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[–] DisabledAceSocialist@hexbear.net 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

The one you have now sounds awful. Hope you manage to dump him without any hassle!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

It sucked and they said some really hurtful shit to me, but yeah we're done now and I'm going back to someone I like better.

[–] DisabledAceSocialist@hexbear.net 2 points 21 hours ago

Glad to hear it. I find it so weird the way people on reddit kiss therapists' arses and think therapy just magically fixes everything. Hexbear is the only place where people are realistic and accept that many therapists are worse than useless and that therapy isn't a magic bullet for everything.

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hes very insistent that I take almost 3 hours out of my day to do in person visits and has threatened to charge me as a cancelation if I still demanded virtual

This dude fucking sucks lmao

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

Yep, we're done now though!

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 39 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Just fucking drop the dude. I had a wet noodle of a therapist, told him I was taking a break, and never made an appointment again. I have a chill queer/trans therapist now and the sessions are much better.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)

theres so many scummy therapists

[–] Omegamint@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It’s just easy for therapists to cash a check, and actually hard for them to get people to do proper work on themselves. I’ve definitely run into acquaintances where it’s become abundantly clear that whoever they’re seeing is just acting as a shoulder to cry on, and honestly when people first come in to see a therapist that’s generally what they need. The hard shit comes after they stabilize where they often need to do some hard introspection and that’s where these professionals can really fail (and I’m sure some do on purpose), or the person in question just ups and leaves therapy because they aren’t actually willing to do that.

Lotta respect for the good ones but pop psychology has got people thinking therapy is a lot better than it is and it’s given some pretty shitty people the tools to couch their shitty behavior in professional sounding language.

Edit:

Also wanted to make it clear I’m not siding with corgis therapist here, who has really gone in the other direction (I don’t think a therapist should talk to someone like that). Honestly just venting bc personal experiences both with therapy personally and in others

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yep, I can absolutely see how its an industry for people who want to manipulate others

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think my best one was my school therapist at college and I bet it's because they were on retainer. I think they're largely useless unless you're lonely or need to practice social skills. Psychiatrists are a different matter medicine can help some people.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

Fortunate enough to also be seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow, reckon it might be time for my meds to be changed. That's irrelevant to what happened today tho with the therapist

[–] LaBellaLotta@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To my friend corgi and anyone else seeing this. It is important, nay, critical, that you write off and disregard the opinions of the myriad assholes and shit-heels you will encounter in life.

This life is far, far too short to countenance the opinion of every self important POS who manages to accrue some kind of authority.

Don’t waste one single second of your precious existence and mental fortitude being worried about this loser therapist. Tell them calmly and professionally that you will not be continuing to retain their services, then leave. If they think their job at that point is to try and SELL YOU on their therapy then they’ve told you everything you need to know.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

Wise words. Appreciate it! Care-Comrade

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 24 points 1 day ago

I'm nervous he'll try to talk me out of dropping him.

you’re making the right choice, i hate dealing with people like this

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You got this. Therapy is about what you need to live well, it's not about your therapist. If they try and center ~~your~~ their needs (whoops, my bad) then that's a big red flag and it's your sign to run.

You absolutely do not need to attend the full session. If they start trying some shit with you then you can—and should—call the session to a conclusion early. Boundaries are what we put in place to protect ourselves and you are allowed to protect yourself. You need a therapist that's in your corner but more than that, you need yourself in your own corner. If the therapist interferes with you being in your own corner then it's time to say "Okay, I think were done here. Thanks for your time. How much is today's session going to be?"

(For reference I had a bad psychiatrist that didn't listen to me when I kept going back saying that I couldn't continue with the side effects of a medication and all they did was up the dose, tell me that the side effects mean that it's working [yeah - it's working in the wrong way and that's what I was trying to tell you the whole time, dipshit], and after months of this I ended up in a psych ward. We had an appointment that I think they scheduled for me in the ward before they released me and so I went in for it and we had a very awkward session then I made an appointment for the next month in full knowledge that I wasn't going to attend as a final "fuck you" because if you didn't listen to me sounding the alarm month after month because you didn't take me seriously then why would you take me seriously when I make an agreement to attend an appointment with you? Though I try to be less spiteful these days lol and a big part of that for me is by establishing healthy boundaries.)

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 23 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It went fucking horribly! Dude wanted to have basically a full session long conversation analyzing why I wanted to leave, and used my life/relationship situation to insinuate I was a bad patient, and that he went out of his way to respond to that with patience. "You're only here so you can keep your partner happy and have a roof over your head." I'm obviously angry, but mostly just shocked that a professional would take a dig at me that way, especislly after 18ish months.

Also yall are getting a copy/paste response cause I wanna make sure everyone who wished me well saw my side of things, and im not thinking straight enough to give individual replies at the moment

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fuck that guy, obviously you made the correct choice dropping him if this was how he was going to react, total clown.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

100% vindicated in my decision. Calming down now and playing some Mario about it.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I bet Mario would be a good therapist. He at least seems to have it really together himself.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Comrade Mario, please teach me how to triple jump over my problems

[–] CarbonConscious@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

Just a matter of forward momentum, timing, and taking the leap enough times in a row.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Dr. Mario is not a real doctor

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good and rest well knowing you made the right choice.

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hey, you did it and you got through it. That's what matters. Fuck that guy, acting like it's a bad thing to want to keep your partner happy and to have a secure place to live (??)

A half-decent therapist understands that people have all sorts of motivations for attending therapy and they'll work with it regardless, it unless it risks direct harm to themselves or others (e.g. an abusive spouse wanting to get the therapist in on the gaslighting.)

Thanks for the update. Take your time to decompress. Sounds like today you discovered that your misgivings about this therapist were well-placed and that your judgement is more trustworthy and your ability to keep yourself safe is more reliable than you might have thought. Here's to surviving a tough day!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks comrade, appreciate it. It sucks having someone you spent over a year opening up to use your insecurities and fears against you. I did my best in the moment, didnt escalate my voice, and tried to be respectful. Overall its a net win cause 1) im officially done with this person, and 2) cause I went and had this whole talk in person, which is something I would normally shy away from.

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like you did a fantastic job. It sucks that it went through that shit but you controlled the part that you could control, and you did exceptionally well. That's all that matters.

I don't want to diminish how much it must suck for you right now but you faced a nightmare scenario head-on and came out the other side intact. Yep, it was a big waste of time and money and, yep, a therapist should never act that way but you handled that shit and if there's a silver lining it might be that if you feel anxious about opening up to a therapist in the future you can look at it from this perspective - what's the worst that could happen? Because you've already been through it. It definitely sucks but you know now that it's not gonna break you and, with a little luck and some distance from this shitty day, the fear of opening up to a therapist is gonna have much less of a hold on you.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Appreciate it, thanks. I'll be going back to my old therapist, who I felt much more comfortable talking to. There's more I can say comparatively between the two, but in summary, I feel like I'm going to a better spot. Additionally, I'll be going back to someone who specializes in bipolar, where this guy did not.

Sending love Care-Comrade

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 2 points 12 hours ago

Much love to you too, comrade!

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would like add another "fuck that guy" to the mix. You deserve so much better.

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

DO it do it do it I regret not breaking it with my therapist please dont do what I did and stick it out any longer

[–] microfiche@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Any single issue you mentioned would be enough to get me to quit going, but the combination of it all is absolutely terrible.

This licensed person's behavior sounds antithetical to treatment. It sounds like it's just stalling progress if not outright going backward. I'm not sure if it's criminal or not but at the very least it's pretty fucked up. It's manipulative behavior and I wonder if this man does this with other patients, and not just you.

You are absolutely right to say when.

Hugs.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago (6 children)

It went fucking horribly! Dude wanted to have basically a full session long conversation analyzing why I wanted to leave, and used my life/relationship situation to insinuate I was a bad patient, and that he went out of his way to respond to that with patience. "You're only here so you can keep your partner happy and have a roof over your head." I'm obviously angry, but mostly just shocked that a professional would take a dig at me that way, especislly after 18ish months.

Also yall are getting a copy/paste response cause I wanna make sure everyone who wished me well saw my side of things, and im not thinking straight enough to give individual replies at the moment

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[–] Salah@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hope it went well!

I have to beg my therapist to stay with me because I still have things I want to work on but since the waiting lists are currently longer than a year, therapists are very eager to move on quickly to treat as many people as possible.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It went fucking horribly! Dude wanted to have basically a full session long conversation analyzing why I wanted to leave, and used my life/relationship situation to insinuate I was a bad patient, and that he went out of his way to respond to that with patience. "You're only here so you can keep your partner happy and have a roof over your head." I'm obviously angry, but mostly just shocked that a professional would take a dig at me that way, especislly after 18ish months.

[–] Salah@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That’s awful. What a dick. And a horrible therapist.

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[–] UhhhDunkDunk@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Comrade, I'm so sorry you had this horrible experience! As you've already mentioned, decision to drop them completely vindicated! Happy to hear you were able to connect again with a therapist that felt supportive. Ugh, again, sorry you had such an unpleasant experience with this clown.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Thank you, appreciate the support Care-Comrade

[–] immuredanchorite@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You should know that you have every right to see a different therapist or even ask them if they can refer you to another colleague, and professionally they should accept that. It won’t cause you any harm. It would be natural for them to ask why, and that might help inform their practice in the future- but they should be able to respect your boundaries. If you are frank with them without losing your cool or being insulting it should be fine. Although that is no guarantee they won’t be a jerk, but that is unprofessional and you can cite that if they push back too hard.

There might be a reason they insist on in-person appointments, I know for medical appointments it affects their billing to see patients virtually (often for both for medicare/medicaid and private insurance)

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

It went fucking horribly! Dude wanted to have basically a full session long conversation analyzing why I wanted to leave, and used my life/relationship situation to insinuate I was a bad patient, and that he went out of his way to respond to that with patience. "You're only here so you can keep your partner happy and have a roof over your head." I'm obviously angry, but mostly just shocked that a professional would take a dig at me that way, especislly after 18ish months.

Also yall are getting a copy/paste response cause I wanna make sure everyone who wished me well saw my side of things, and im not thinking straight enough to give individual replies at the moment

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sucks about how it went, hopefully this is the first step towards something better!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

Going back to my old therapist, who was if nothing else, much warmer towards me in a good way. Hopefully we can just pick back up!

It sounds like this change is for the best. You can do it meow-hug

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