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Breakung up with my therapist in like 45 min and im nervous (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago by corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I never really felt much of a connection with this guy, despite sticking it out for over a year with him. Hes very insistent that I take almost 3 hours out of my day to do in person visits and has threatened to charge me as a cancelation if I still demanded virtual, I haven't felt the ability to be honest with him about larger issues than what I discuss, and frankly I would get nervous to talk to him before a lot of sessions. I had a therapist before that I connected with better, but that was 3 years ago almost and I had to stop when I lost my last job.

Im already in the process of getting back with my past therapist, who seemed much warmer to me. When I had to stop seeing her, i cried, whereas with this guy, I'm nervous he'll try to talk me out of dropping him.

On the bus to go do it now, send me your good vibes pls

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[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hey, you did it and you got through it. That's what matters. Fuck that guy, acting like it's a bad thing to want to keep your partner happy and to have a secure place to live (??)

A half-decent therapist understands that people have all sorts of motivations for attending therapy and they'll work with it regardless, it unless it risks direct harm to themselves or others (e.g. an abusive spouse wanting to get the therapist in on the gaslighting.)

Thanks for the update. Take your time to decompress. Sounds like today you discovered that your misgivings about this therapist were well-placed and that your judgement is more trustworthy and your ability to keep yourself safe is more reliable than you might have thought. Here's to surviving a tough day!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks comrade, appreciate it. It sucks having someone you spent over a year opening up to use your insecurities and fears against you. I did my best in the moment, didnt escalate my voice, and tried to be respectful. Overall its a net win cause 1) im officially done with this person, and 2) cause I went and had this whole talk in person, which is something I would normally shy away from.

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like you did a fantastic job. It sucks that it went through that shit but you controlled the part that you could control, and you did exceptionally well. That's all that matters.

I don't want to diminish how much it must suck for you right now but you faced a nightmare scenario head-on and came out the other side intact. Yep, it was a big waste of time and money and, yep, a therapist should never act that way but you handled that shit and if there's a silver lining it might be that if you feel anxious about opening up to a therapist in the future you can look at it from this perspective - what's the worst that could happen? Because you've already been through it. It definitely sucks but you know now that it's not gonna break you and, with a little luck and some distance from this shitty day, the fear of opening up to a therapist is gonna have much less of a hold on you.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Appreciate it, thanks. I'll be going back to my old therapist, who I felt much more comfortable talking to. There's more I can say comparatively between the two, but in summary, I feel like I'm going to a better spot. Additionally, I'll be going back to someone who specializes in bipolar, where this guy did not.

Sending love Care-Comrade

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 2 points 18 hours ago

Much love to you too, comrade!