๐๐ (idk if this is real)
If I am elected president, anyone who has ever claimed to be "building a better future for our children" will have their mouths smashed off with a rifle butt.
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2025
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It's satire. Original tweet was about an environmentally friendly radar system from Raytheon
The fact that so many people actually fell for it is worrying not just because reality itself has become satire but because this post should be painfully obvious. Ain't nobody marketing missiles to anyone who cares about the carbon footprint.
A lot of things are pretty normal today that would've been satire 10 years ago
Not going to lie. I believed it and thought 'wow between this and the knife missile that greatly reduces civilian casualties Rathiyon are probably most morally upstanding war profiteirs of our era'
now I am just disappointed
The knife missile was actually kinda awesome in its own way tbh. Ridiculous precision for super long distance murder with as few casualties as possible.
It's also frightening that it exists.
the knife missile is so emblematic of the entire military industrial complex. can't stop engaging in unnecessary resource wars due to unnecessary casualties. instead, the military industrial complex will develop and sell a product to allow the killing of specific people in public spaces. and the more you think about the idea of being at a produce stand and someone standing next to you turning into a fine red mist, never to exist in physical space again, the more distopian it seems.
it reminds me of the episode of star trek where they encounter a planet that has eliminated war via coordinated computer simulations and voluntary genocides.
Knife missiles are real things?? Scary stuff. I'm about half way through the Culture series at the moment, never heard of them before..
It's the Hellfire AGM-114R-9X
A while back it was used to kill some dude without the other people in the same house being collateral damage, so it got meme status for a while.
Question. Are the knives really needed? I feel like getting hit with what is essentially a 5 foot long, 7 inch wide bullet, travelling at mach 1 would prove to be equally efficient at killing single targets, as strapping knives to it.
it reduces the risk of missing because the target bent over to pick up a quarter, or stepped to the side because they saw something interesting. the knives in question are basically swords that deploy radially from the missile body like an umbrella.
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If we're going to have missiles, knife missiles are a good thing
"environmentally friendly radar system"
so weather radar?
probably non-cancerous cooling sytsem or some shit like that, maybe lower RF emissions
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Destroying aircraft seems like a very ecofriendly thing to do, same as killing humans
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You're not going to beat the mosquito or rotavirus when it comes to environmentally friendly killers. Lethality, prodigious. Carbon footprint, minimal (small amount of flatulence, don't worry about it). This comment was sponsored by Gnawed VPN.
Mosquitoes be fartin?
If you listen carefully you can hear them squeak one out occasionally.
Aircraft shot down over shallow waters can even turn into coral reefs! Wow!
And just think about all the thankful sea critters feasting on the bodies!
What? The green revolution doesn't deserve anti-aircraft capabily?
make a better future for the children of the world by blowing up half of it
Killing is good way to reduce your CO2 footprint
This reminds me of Jeremy Kauffman's ad, "War is Gay," which advocated for making militarism as gay as possible. The point is that militarism, or zabernism, is considered acceptable and even encouraged as long as DEI quotas are met within the military. https://youtu.be/kdfym6LKpQ0
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Frutiger Anti-Aero
Carbon neutralized
Maybe the next iteration can have some seeds mixed in the payload to sprout little trees and plants over the wreckage.
I heard they're coming out with a new one that does have the seeds but they're all non-natives selected for maximum ecological impact. You win some, you lose some
this should be in not the onion if real
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