this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2025
109 points (98.2% liked)

Slop.

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[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 43 points 2 months ago (5 children)

These names are so condescending. "Yeah, I'd like some Thirst-Quenching Coke please, not the Coke that doesn't have water in it. Tempting Cheeseburger? No, I want the Ugly, Rancid Cheeseburger.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 36 points 2 months ago

Coming right up!

[–] LeninWeave@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Actually, give me the Half-Flavor Orange Drink.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago

Prepare for unexpected flavors, Mr. LeninWeave

[–] unwarlikeExtortion@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

And I'd like one frozen-over coffee straight from the deep freezer, please.

[–] NinaPasadena@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Pure beef? No I'd prefer 50/50 beef/plastic

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

A beverage needs to consist of a minumum of 90% water to really be thirst-quenching.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 2 points 2 months ago

If it's not called garbage in a bag, it's false advertising

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 41 points 2 months ago (3 children)

$0.10 coffee

Something something social democrats are just imperialist wolves in sheep's clothes

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Also 1960s McDonald's probably had the most horrendous coffee imaginable lmao

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yeah we're sludge merchants. We're grime-pilled slop heads. If that coffee doesn't taste like, share the same color as, or flow as slow as 20 year old motor oil I don't want it.

I want ground beans at the bottom of the cup black as night. I want to cough like I'm drowning after the first sip. If I look like a complete person aftwards: it's not bad enough. There better be asphalt and rubber cutting the grounds they use.

That's real America right there. None of this hands-in-the-ass drinking a pumpkin bullshit. Wake up thirsty, start your day ruined. If you can't work through the IBS you don't want it enough.

[–] Biggay@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

i bet it tasted great with cigarettes tho

[–] BeanisBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

No you see they'll import it at fair prices and then sell it at a loss via massive state subsidies

[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I demand the first order of business after establishing communism is to develop a cheap, mass producible, synthetic coffee.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

So dandelion root tea or chicory tea?

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

In China according to google you can grab a street food dinner for about $2

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 31 points 2 months ago

Actually, according to grok, communism is when no food.

[–] CutieBootieTootie@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

It depends where you are, Tier One cities can have some pretty expensive food but yeah, I would eat like a queen for 20-25 kuai in a relatively smaller city (1mil pop) from hole in the wall shops

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] miz@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago
[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Watch out Snake! That's Tempting Cheeseburger! FOXHOUND's top frycook!

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

Thar'a right Snake. Its said he can feed an entire platoon an enriching hamburger dinner within less than an hour. Im sure Master Miller knows more, the Chemical Burger earned him millions.

Liquid Snake as Miller:...

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago (4 children)

i really like the names they gave - "refreshing cold milk" should like a great band name. seriously!

[–] booty@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

gimme that TRIPLE thicc shake, I need the maximum possible number of boys in my yard right now

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

i'd go with a tempting cheeseburger

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

Steaming Third-Degree Hot Coffee

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

you used to be able to get a delightful root beer but now you can only get regular root beer because the SJWs were too offended 😒

[–] fanbois@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Refreshing Cold Milk Hotel

Bubbly upbeat pop songs, but still horny about Anne Frank.

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

i just remember that there's this theory in which jeff mangum (and probably his family) went back to save anne frank and adopt her in the family as 'caroline mangum', and then in the 1990s, jeff started dating anne/caroline, now renamed again to astra taylor.

i think that that idea would work as a turtledove-ish story. seriously!

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

This isn't clear enough to me, a burgerlander. How many football fields are those prices? If i know that then maybe it will make sense

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Explaining everything as burger to Americans. First explain burger is a sandwich.

Using the taco-is-sandwich loophole to explain how a taquito is a sandwich.

With the cylindrical shape established we can now build a series of tubes made out of burger.

And with it we will finally understand the internet

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

how a taquito is a sandwich.

a taquito isn't a sandwich it's just a flauta with a corn tortilla

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Flautas can use both corn and flour tortillas

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

??? if it's a corn tortilla it's a taquito

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

you are wrong and idk what else to tell you. This is something I have known as a fact for like forever and if you ask google AI you can guess who it backs up (me) shrug-outta-hecks

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

that goon can put himself feet first into a meatgrinder for his fetid greaseburgers

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

The hamburger being just 1.5x as expensive as the coke or root beer feels outlandish. It feels like the ratio should be at least 4:1.

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Where beanisbatty kitty-cri-screm

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

at this point, since voting is NOT enough, we should all reluctantly use force to stop trump. seriously!