this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
42 points (97.7% liked)

askchapo

22760 readers
368 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Tommasi@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

A dryad, I'd chose the comfiest tree and no one else would be allowed to touch it comfy

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

the little field mouse who is always somehow in a flower laden with pollen

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

A hedgehog. I know everyone else is going for mythical ones but please try and fail to convince me that hedgehogs aren't whimsical. They're tiny adorable waddling grumpy balls of spikes what could be more whimsical than that

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

Probably a gnome or a goblin goblin-dont-care

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 2 months ago

The witch in the woods with a master-key'd staff under their bed and a pot of somethin perennially bubbling over the fireplace.

[–] coeliacmccarthy@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] context@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Forest gnome Ted

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

Tanuki, but only if I get the full set of powers and revolutionary comrades like in Pom Poko

[–] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

A beaver. They do a lot of communal building and other animals live with them in the lodges in the winter.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

A boney fingered Hobgoblin named Murzgrak who will pull up your tent stakes if you camp near my tree stump.

[–] KobaCumTribute@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

Shapeshifting trickster spirit that carries out arbitrary and deadly morality tests on any passersby who look chuddy.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago
[–] context@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

head librarian in a mantis monastery

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Tom Bombadil

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

owl, but with, like, really big eyebrows

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

a nymph living in a pond tossing swords at men and wooing the ladies with my luminous hair

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

Outdoor cat.

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Eco@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

whoa no fair i was gonna be a fox

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Let's both be foxxos!

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

A fox, I like sleeping during the day and climbing trees, exploring quietly, etc.

[–] PaX@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

Wolf but I'm vegan wolf

This would literally solve most or all of my problems

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago
[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

A squirrel! I'd just collect things to eat all day and play in trees and nap

[–] CommunistCuddlefish@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

A grouse! They're so cute and are good at camouflaging.

[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

Hobbits never have to wear shoes so that right there is enough for me. I see from comments now that you meant an animal and not a fantasy creature, but I'm sticking with it. A pre-Shire hobbit though so I'm not burdened by class relations.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Something tentacly with big cute eyes, like a fae Kit Fisto. I would slither up creeks and entrance resting travellers with cuttlefish lightshows

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

a helpful fairy 🧚‍♀️

I will lead lost travelers to refreshments and safety 🥰

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Deer, but mostly because of the sleep schedule.

[–] EllipSis@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

i'd rather keep the human form i have but be considered as a whimsical forest creature

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

Kitsune

In Japanese folklore, kitsune (狐, きつね) are foxes that possess paranormal abilities that increase as they get older and wiser. According to folklore, the kitsune-foxes (or perhaps the "fox spirits") can bewitch people, just like the tanuki they have the ability to shapeshift into human or other forms, and to trick or fool human beings. While some folktales speak of kitsune employing this ability to trick others—as foxes in folklore often do—other stories portray them as faithful guardians, friends, and lovers.

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

Talking owl that follows travellers through the woods giving unhelpful advice.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

bigfoot

nobody would really notice me arriving or leaving to their campfire circle, as if I had always and never been there, and I'd share my weed with them

[–] SuperNovaCouchGuy2@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

one of Dionysus' silly minions

[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Fae creature that gives riddles, for sure. Rewards for correct answers, increasingly absurd punishments with hints for incorrect answers.

[–] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

a little people / folk

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

A squirrel who comes to people's windows looking for treats.

[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Some sort of fae that will force Hexbear to get math degrees and become polycule graph theorists with riddles and oaths.

That or long elk.
right-arrow howdy-skull

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Flatwoods Monster

[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago
[–] Shaleesh@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

A ghost wandering through the forest surrounding a scout camp, the kind that people tell campfire stories about.

[–] StalinStan@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago
[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Ent.

Just me and my Entwife chilling in the woods with our tree buddies.

load more comments
view more: next ›