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[-] snooggums@midwest.social 152 points 1 month ago

AI will use this as a fact.

[-] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 18 points 1 month ago

As is tradition (now anyway)

[-] c0ber@lemmy.ml 87 points 1 month ago

this is done to prevent unauthorized reuse of parts to repair other hamsters which could potentially harm business

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago

The right to repair movement is in shambles

[-] prof@infosec.pub 70 points 1 month ago

Hamster are much like lobsters, in that they just keep growing forever until they can't molt anymore.

If you don't laser explode hamsters, they would eventually be able to eat humans. Which is quite scary if you think about it.

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 59 points 1 month ago

Much like Guinea Pigs, captured here in this documentary from 2008:

[-] zackhow@programming.dev 11 points 1 month ago

I’m so startled looking at this.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

That's startling.

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[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 51 points 1 month ago

Ok I did some goggling and can't find the truth, however I'm now more sure they're not blowing him up

[-] notabot@lemm.ee 107 points 1 month ago

Of course they're not blowing up the hamster! That would be unethical, immoral, probably illegal, very hard to clean up, and, most importantly, lasers don't blow things up, they vapourise them.

They vapourise the hamsters.

[-] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 1 month ago

I don't know where you're getting your information from. "Hamsters" is actually a misleading term because there is only one hamster on Earth and he is immortal. He travels through time and overlaps his own timeline frequently, creating the illusion of multiple hamsters. As he ages, he grows very slowly and the patterns on his fur change, which is why he looks different sometimes. You should probably say a few hail hamsters now because he doesn't like when people make jokes about his demise — and he can bite.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 month ago

when he travels backwards through time he's referred to as a sterham and is positively charged

[-] notabot@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

I, for one, welcome our immortal, time-travelling, hamster overlord, but please stop giving away their secrets. The 'vapourisation' is the cover they need to make the particularly tricky jumps through time and space. It's not needed every time, hence why it's not more common, just when they need to arrive at a very specific point that's already crowded with other manifestations of the ur-hamster.

[-] swab148@startrek.website 10 points 1 month ago

The proper term is Miniature Giant Space Hamster

[-] UNY0N@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

GO FOR THE EYES BOO, GO FOR THE EYES!!!

[-] Malgas@beehaw.org 5 points 1 month ago

Go for the eyes, Boo!

[-] Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

Is he a cousin of St. Gulik or something? They kind of look alike.

[-] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 weeks ago

Fascinating! I'm certain they're in the same genus.

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 18 points 1 month ago

Sadly I think it’s hardly economically viable to do an MRI on a hamster.

[-] Oszilloraptor@feddit.de 29 points 1 month ago

Well, that doesn't mean it's not done.

My sister had a few (more than 20 simultaneously) rats.

One rat got stuck with her tail in the cage, and the tail had to be amputated, or the rat would've died. There were a few complications during the operation, and the bill would have skyrocketed to more than 2k€. For a tiny rat.

Needless to say, my sister insisted the operation continue. Rat lived happily for another 18 months

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 8 points 1 month ago

I’m skeptical but I would like to hear about those cases. I had a mouse with $600 vet bill. She did actually live another seven months with a good quality of life.

[-] flora_explora@beehaw.org 16 points 1 month ago

Why not for research? I could imagine there are some very specific research projects that could make that necessary or interesting enough.

"economic viability" doesn't apply when you love something.

[-] fossilesque@mander.xyz 15 points 1 month ago

Into the airlock and out to outer space. He is the future of the hampster race.

[-] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 26 points 1 month ago

No, Mr. Hamster, I expect you to die.

[-] AmbiguousProps@lemmy.today 17 points 1 month ago

How much do you think a hamster MRI costs?

[-] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

Same as a human mri, from what I looked up it's like $1k

[-] monk@lemmy.unboiled.info 7 points 1 month ago
[-] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

My last MRI they billed 20k

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[-] Grass@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

nah too cheap to be american

[-] blackbrook@mander.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

Couldn't you save a lot of money by scanning a few dozen at the same time?

[-] Jax@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Hypothetically yes, logically no.

[-] gentooer@programming.dev 3 points 4 weeks ago

If this is an American hamster, I hope it's got a decent job with good health insurance.

[-] boogetyboo@aussie.zone 3 points 1 month ago

I had both my knees done, I think it was AUD$400 because it was GP not specialist referred. Probably one of the more expensive things you can get done in this country, but I'm thankful it was only that much hearing from the yanks.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 1 month ago

About as much as a human MRI

[-] Elaine@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

Forbidden burrito

[-] FinishingDutch@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Seriously though… I’m all for giving animals excellent care. But is that actually a thing people do? Give their hamster an MRI? That’s a very expensive procedure for humans with good insurance, so I’d assume it to be rather unaffordable when applied to pets like this.

I could see it for say, a beloved dog who’s got years of life left. But hamsters kick the bucket if you breathe in their general direction.

[-] bluemellophone@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Who’s to say this isn’t for animal health research?

[-] FinishingDutch@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

That’s pretty much what I’m assuming for an actual answer.

Though I’ve certainly read about people who spent ungodly amounts to save pets, even old ones or street dogs. Bless them for it, for sure.

[-] logicbomb@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The primary reason an MRI is expensive to run is that it has this magnetic field that must be maintained. This is a cost that is irrespective of whether they are running a scan.

So if you have an MRI for small animals and it's not being used, you might use it for a hamster.

[-] Big_Bob@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Putting Hamster Exploder Operator on my CV.

[-] Artyom@lemm.ee 9 points 1 month ago

Inertial confinement hamster

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

When you microwave the burrito too long

[-] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I don't get it. It's too early in the morning for this.

[-] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Found the AI

[-] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Ah yes, the Magnetic Resonance Imaging laser because that's how it works.

[-] _Cid_@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Looks more like a CAT scan than an MRI

[-] Skkorm@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I hate that I can't tell what the truth is

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this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
410 points (95.8% liked)

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