Sorry if this isn't exactly the right community, I'm just going nuts and need to ask somewhere.

So I'm a 2nd year PhD student at an R2 institution in a conservative area. My advisor was offered a job at an R1 in a highly desirable, liberal area, and I was planning on going with them. Now, I found out that they're backing out and intend to stay here.

Some important info:

• Advisor told everyone in our department they were leaving before backing out. I told everyone I was leaving, too, and lost some committee positions and collaborators in the process.

• My spouse and I are visibly queer, and have been harassed in our town. My spouse only moved here for me, and was delighted to find out we'd be moving. They're completely destroyed by the bait-and-switch.

• Advisor was actually only planning on moving because their spouse wanted to live closer to family and was currently unemployed. The reason they have decided not to move is because the new institute gave my advisor's spouse a job in a department they didn't like. The rest of the job offer letter was fine; they described it as good, even.

• My advisor did not tell me about the job search when they started looking, and confessed they didn't intend for me to come with them originally. It turns out they brought me into their lab knowing they intended on leaving me behind, and they were surprised when I asked about going with them.

• I rotated into this lab and have funding through an NSF GRFP.

• I have paid ~$1000 out of pocket for travel expenses and application fees to facilitate my transfer to the new school.

I feel overwhelmed; when they told me they weren't going I just told them I couldn't talk now and needed time to process and we would talk later. I barely kept myself together long enough to leave, but now I have to talk to them. My take is that I don't feel comfortable trusting this person with my life direction anymore, since they would waste that much time and money and back out over something so stupid. I also think it's insane that their spouse was the reason for the move to begin with, but is also demanding they back out because their spousal hire wasn't good enough. I don't know how I'm going to talk to them professionally because it all seems crazy and I get upset even thinking about it.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, or know anyone who has? Advice is greatly appreciated

cross-posted from: https://mander.xyz/post/1072009

This has everything from academic journals to newspapers.

India’s National Council of Educational Research and Training has made controversial changes to its science curriculum for children under 16 (see Nature 618, 8 (2023) and Nature https://doi.org/kgc2; 2023). But, given the nation’s history of enlightened scientific thought, shifting the teaching of evolution to older students in more advanced classes is unlikely to affect the religious beliefs and sentiments of most Indians.

Although the teaching of evolution is illegal in several countries, every intelligent Indian (not just scientists) would probably oppose such a move. Many Hindus and Buddhists feel that evolution provides the best explanation for how humans came into existence. And believing in evolution and being spiritual or religious are not considered to be mutually exclusive.

Science education nurtures a questioning and inquisitive mind, so it should not be subject to political propaganda that could create a regressive mindset. India’s long history of progressive, transformative and exploratory scientific thinking (see, for example, Nāsadīya Sūkta, the 129th hymn of the tenth mandala of the Rig Veda, on the creation of the cosmos) offers our best protection.

Of interest to Mander folks. :)

He sounds like one of the good ones. RIP.

A great little paper trading mutual aid site, especially for newer articles when you find yourself unable to bypass a paywall and it is absent on SciHub.

Haha, I was just reading the wiki page for this the other day and it came up in my feed. :)