Laughing at whatever fed got the job of wading through tens of thousands of bad posts
writing a report on the latest beanis discourse
It would be great if beanis posting became the present day Louie Louie:
The following month an outraged parent wrote to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy alleging that the lyrics of "Louie Louie" were obscene, saying, "The lyrics are so filthy that I can-not [sic] enclose them in this letter." The Federal Bureau of Investigation investigated the complaint, and looked into the various rumors of "real lyrics" that were circulating among teenagers. In June 1965, the FBI laboratory obtained a copy of the Kingsmen recording and, after 31 months of investigation, concluded that it could not be interpreted and therefore the Bureau could not find that the recording was obscene.
beanis
"Hey, Mike - stop what you're doing for a sec."
"No." He doesn't look at Bob. He keeps tying at a fast clip.
"Just a sec. You've been working on the bear site non-stop since yesterday. I'm Bob Nobody and you're Mike Rando. You're not gonna get out of this cubicle and promoted faster if you work work yourself like a dog."
"Work produces results."
"C'mon. Just a sec."
"Fine. You have a 30 seconds." Looks at watch. "Starting... now."
"What does beanis really mean?"
"It's in the π·ππ‘ππππ π³ππππππ πππππππππππ’ π±-π» file."
"Just tell me."
"No."
"You've already done at least 5 files for just the Bs?"
Sighing. "You haven't read a thing - have you. Not actually a question. Before you ask me any more questions - consult all the reference materials. I'm busy."
"How many files have you written for the bear site? I mean in totβ"
Angry. "Time is up." Looks away and starts typing at a fast clip again.
"Not 30 seconds. Did you sleep in the office? Where? There's no place to lie down. Did you end up sleeping right there in chair?"
He keeps typing but it's clear that he's even angrier. "A maximum of 30 is implied."
Thats why its important to have a username that will sound funny when read out in court x
Or one that causes maximum confusion.
My "this is not a sting operation" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt
Once their quants decipher our emojis we're cooked
We love our jokes even if they seemingly seem tasteless. We sincerely hoped Mr. Kissinger lived to be 200. πππ-ππππππππππππ was all in fun.
Bozo was a loving nickname! RIP Bozo I cry as I mourn!
we cry erytiem
We sincerely hoped Mr. Kissinger lived to be 200.
I unironically wanted him to live so he could continue witnessing the decline and slow collapse of america
When we represent an actual threat beyond having nuclear takes on foreign policy and arguments about outdoor cats. So, never?
Feds watching this thread, reclining in their office chairs, laughing to themselves and making jokes about stacking rocks.
It'll never not be funny to me that there were eager people who joined the feds to stop domestic (muslim) terrorists who through the course of scouring folks' trash realized actually most people from this group or that are actually entirely ordinary, boring people, and the threats they were promised they would face up against were basically nonexistent, contrary to what most people are told.
I'd post the article I read this from but it was ages ago.
I want this article :/
Probably never. It makes a lot more sense to keep the site running as is and skim a trickle of information off the top. People blow off steam here sometimes, say things they probably shouldn't say on the Internet, and that gets added to the case file as just another exhibit.
What case file
Iβm just waiting for someone to file a FOIA request on Hexbear and Chapo chat
Those two are safe. Lemmygrad Dot Net and ShrekLand, on the other hand...
Shrekland.net is where we store all the terror propaganda
I don't mean that they have one for like Hexbear itself or any particular person, more that they just use it to find people of interest (and to keep tabs on ones they've already picked up on). In that respect, it's not so different from other social media, but the density of people with """unacceptable""" political beliefs might make it a particularly alluring source. Dossier is probably the more accurate term, as case file implies some kind of pending action.
In like a year when another US ally is committing yet another genocide we'll be targeted along with a thousand other leftish websites by the tiktok law.
God imagine if we get bought by fucking Facebook or some shit.
I don't know the site has been running pretty good lately, are we sure it wasn't seized already?
Realizing we've been had because the sysadmins have been too quiet recently
They're in stealth mode, getting ready to announce the HexCoin Exchange beta. Did you know you can use a single HexJuice on multiple HexApes? It's true!
patriots are in control
I dunno, probably when I start my ruthless terrorist organization, COBRA
Cogitating
On
Butts,
Rears, and
Asses
Gives new meaning to the phrase "The kiss of the cobra "
When we ddos Joe Biden's 2024 page with ppb
How do i contribute to making this a reality
Pig poop bidens
This place is clearly 100% parody satire. We're all libs here. We say it all the time.
we're all just Minecraft players
August 7th, 2025
Project 2025
Soonβ’
when they find my account
After we implement a DDoS-for-hire service.
Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.
Rules:
Posts must ask a question.
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
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