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Waffle House for the opportunity to demonstrate my martial prowess
Went on a date last night. We saw some live music and walked around. Took her to a really good ramen place that I had left an emphatic, detailed 5 star review for previously.
The review was so good, the staff treated us like royalty and even the owner stopped by our table.
Bam, got hugs and kisses.
From the date or restaurant staff?
Yes.
The Y.
I’m a service top when it comes to restaurants (and also generally, but that’s besides the point). Typically when I am planning a first date with someone, I first ask if they have any dietary needs, and then I ask if there is any food they have been craving lately or if there are any restaurants in the area that they have been meaning to try.
If they say they are craving a specific type of food, I am pretty well enough acquainted with the different types of restaurants in my area that I can choose accordingly. I typically will choose the restaurant that serves the “best” food they have been craving. I love to bond over good food and I love showing people new things that they will enjoy (another facet of being a service top), so at the very least we will be able to talk about how good the food is and they have a new dinner spot they can take their friends.
If they choose a restaurant they’ve been meaning to try, it makes for a good dinner conversation and I potentially get to have a new spot on my restaurant list.
If they don’t have a preference, then I just choose a spot that I’ve been meaning to try that’s halfway between where we both live so it’s convenient for the both of us. If there isn’t anything I want to try in the area, I will just go for something like a sit down pizza spot.
Also, once I’ve picked a spot, I normally look in the area and pick a potential second location for us to go to if the date is going well and we still want to hang out after dinner. Typically I look for a dive bar because they’re fun, cheap, and easy to talk in.
I’m a service top
Sorry, a what, now?
Don’t you mean a foodie?
I take it you’re not queer or trans hahaha. I’ll explain :)
You know how a lot of queer people classify themselves as tops, bottoms, sides, and verses depending on which position they prefer when they’re having sex? Well within those four classifications, there are countless sub-classifications.
One subclassification in the “top” classification is “service top”. A service top is a top who prioritizes “servicing”, or pleasuring their sexual partners instead of prioritizing their own sexual gratification when they have sex.
So basically I was making a joke about myself and my own sexual classification. Because I am someone who priorizes the enjoyment of the other person in bed, it extends to me prioritizing the enjoyment of others in my waking life and accordingly informs how I would pick a restaurant on the first date.
If I was hanging out with a bunch of queer and trans people, they would get the joke. But I realize that a random stranger on the internet probably wouldn’t get it. Sorry about that. Hope you learned something new, though!
While not strictly a dinner, I'm usually opting (or at least suggest, if the other side would be interested) for a local billiard place. It's not just a pub with a random one table, but an actual cue sports place/bar, with like 20 tables. It does have drinks and is also a restaurant, and in general looks relatively fancy.
I like billiard (pool) because it's easy to pick up, gives you something to do during/between conversations without requiring too much focus, can be done in fancy clothes without needing to change into anything, and can look fancy with drinks. It's also something that everyone plays basically on the same skill level, whether you are playing for a first time or for 50th time, with only people who are actually practicing regularly being noticeably better (which I'm not), so it's never really too one-sided. And it's fun.
So far it has worked well.
Somewhere with vegan food.
sup bby?
Hello.
Vegan dating is hard hey.
I'm more so vegetarian. I still eat dairy and eggs. I can't find anyone who would want to date anyway.
My place. First, the food is fabulous. Second, the food is cheap.
Edit: This pizza cost about $3 to make and it's a really great, authentic sourdough Neapolitan.
I also choose this guy's place.
Maybe not for dinner, but I think a cat café is a good choice for getting to know someone. You get to see how well they follow the rules, how they handle the animals, potentially how they deal with the rejection of sitting there without getting to interact with a cat etc. You can get some idea of how respectful and thoughtful someone is in a place like that. Plus you get to support local shelter and potentially hang out with cats! Though on the downside it can be distracting from conversation as well.
For dinner probably a local joint. They have edible vegan burgers and pool tables and karaoke booths, but can get quite loud depending on when you're there. There's a local restaurant with great atmosphere and lots of hidden art to discover, but it's pricey and high-brow enough that I probably wouldn't suggest it as a first date. I prefer to show my trashy roots first and weed out any snobs.
Local family-owned restaurant that I frequent and find delicious. Chances are they wouldn't have tried it before, and if they like to try new things, chances are they'd like it.
Korean BBQ.
Share food and cook for each other. Creates instant intimacy, great food too
Asian food is great for groups! So much is made for sharing. Can go Japanese too - shabu shabu, izakayas.
Special mention for Spanish tapas:)
Also breweries if they like beer.
Hot pot works too.
I got with the combo =)
Oh yeah and it has conveyor belt stuff going as well.
If the answer is anything other than Long John Silvers then you don't have enough game to get beyond the first date.
Get the free basket of crumblies to show that you’re “in” with the staff
Nothing says game like frozen fish sticks.
I prefer the chicken also if you can find an a&w combo one to get root beer it's over.
That's like ordering tacos at a pub. Hamburger at a Mexican joint. Chicken at a seafood restaurant? That's been in the Frigidaire single the day they bought it.
Dives with shitty food and cheap drinks. During a slow hour when we'll get special treatment and can use the building's jukebox to play cringe music
I do like sandwiches
Can't go wrong with Italian, IMO.
Pizza. I'm not interested in dating anyone who thinks a 5 star restaurant is necessary. I want a real person, not a pompous jerk.
I’ll eat just about anything, and I’ve got 6 restaurants that come to mind as go-to’s. Mexican, Sushi, Other Sushi, Thai, Korean, Diner. It depends on the mood and desired atmosphere. I don’t drink anymore, and never really knew the bar scene around the town I live in, so that would be up to him.
Flip side: I like to cook, and especially so for a potential mate. If he brings pre-rolls and a rec for a movie (comedy or background noise), the night might get interesting. 😅
That vietnamese restaurant i frequent. If she never had vietnamese cuisine before, she need ti know about vietnamese cuisine, it's important.
Somewhere in nature like parks, seaside
Somewhere nice where she can super-size it.
Perfect dinner spot: isolated enough that no one can hear you, open enough that you can have a look at a street or something with people going on, so you have something to talk about. But that's more of a date for me and my partner, because we already know each other.
Is this like a cautious first date or is there a good chance I’m bringing them home tonight?
If the former, let’s get some spicy Asian noodles with a huge beer.
If the latter, appies at a safe restaurant. Easy on the oil, garlic, spice, onion, and alcohol.
I took my wife to a semi-fancy restaurant by a bar. We ate dinner, had drinks and then when we had too much fun at dinner we went to the bar. It was nice
I have a hankering for Salisbury steak. So a mid restaurant I guess, gives options for her too.
the cute burger place with the outdoor patio with a fountain. $50 and a nice time.
I never spend money on a first date.
For my current girlfriend, I took her to my place and I cooked her pasta. Very intimate and I don't need to spend money.
Demonstrating skill in cooking is a great strategy, but you often can't do that for a first date.
Still, practice, dudes. Have a few dishes you are good at making when that opportunity arises.
And if it doesn't, you can eat well and expand those skills.
"I get to choose" as in I have to try and guess where she wants to go. If it was up to me it's either Burger King or a sushi buffet.
as in I have to try and guess where she wants to go.
(A heads up; that answer makes you sound slightly bitter and very "all women are the same"-y, in case that wasn't your intention.)
No, the question was "where do you want to eat dinner for a first date / what do you think is a good first date dinner? Why?"
You can always present your date with two or three options and ask them what they'd prefer if you're scared of choosing "wrong", but this question was about what you would want.
It's fine thinking BK or sushi buffet are good for a first date (though I'd personally prefer to do takeaway to a park or something as the atmosphere at BK isn't great where I live). Any reason you'd like those for a first date?
I am bitter and it was my intention though I wouldn't go as far as to generalize that all women are like that as it's obviously not the case.
However, these are all different questions. What's an appropriate restaurant for a first date is different from where I'd personally like to eat which is different from which place I would choose for us to eat together.
I don't think a sushi buffet or BK is an appropriate place for a first date. Those are where I go to refuel myself and it's as romantic as visiting the gas station. That's why I end up choosing a more appropriate place but that place is in fact not where I want to go - it's where I assume she wants to go. This is pretty much my experience of most things in relationships. I try my best to please her and am left completely unsatisfied myself.
Hell - maybe I should just turn this into a shit test. Next time I get to choose I tell her I want to go cook sausages by a camp fire. If she doesn't then she can go find someone else. I'm tired of this shit.
Interesting. Where I want to go for a first date is not the same as where I want to go just to refuel. In my mind they need to facilitate different things. Are they the same to you?
its where I assume she wants to go. This is pretty much my experience of most things in relationships. I try my best to please her and am left completely unsatisfied myself.
Sounds like that's a suffering of your own making, to be frank. You're ignoring the "take" part of give-and-take.
I too tend to neglect myself and my needs in relationships, which is why I swore off them until I had learnt to balance my priorities so I wouldn't forget myself.
But I also fully knew that neglecting myself was something I did, not my partners. If I enthusiastically choose what they want to do and always to predict what my partner wants, instead of expressing my own wants and finding a compromise or taking turns, then they never get the opportunity to do things for me or compromise - because they think we're both getting what we want already.
If you are expressing your wants and still never get catered to, then it's probably not a good relationship. But if you're not expressing yourself you are setting your partner (and the relationship) up for failure.
I absolutely think you should make a suggestion that takes your own personality into account for a first date. Of course we dont need to dump all of our worst traits at once, but you're not there pretending to be the perfect fit like you're auditioning for the role of partner, you're both there to figure out if you mesh well together.
Plus, hot dogs by a camp fire was one of the best dates I've been on (wouldn't recommend deep woods or other very remote locations for a first date with a stranger though). I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't like camp fires!
In this case compromise means going somewhere neither of us is enthusiastic about. For me the value of eating out is that I don't need to cook myself - a sushi buffet achieves that, and the food is good. Going to a nicer restaurant means it costs more, I need to wait longer and usually I get a smaller portion of food and the quality of it is the same at best. It's simply just a worse experience for me personally. So since I'm not enjoying myself either way we may just as well go somewhere she wants to so at least one of us is having fun.
And you're right - they have been bad relationships. We haven't had anything in common. Last time though I did lay the cards on the table from the very beginning and 9 years later when she finally had enough she at least couldn't say that she didn't know or that I had changed. She did know.
If there is to be a new romantic relationship for me in the future I might just give it a try with a guy instead. It's at least conceivable that things haven't worked out in the past for the simple reason that I've been trying to shove myself into a mould I don't fit into. I'm a peculiar, eccentric person and it takes a certain kind of individual to get along with me. It seems that people either like me a lot or not at all.
Excuse my cynicism. I'm not proud of it but it is what it is.
