this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2026
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Don't have to say a name, something like "local thai place" is fine.

Bonus: What makes it a perfect date dinner spot?

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[–] apprehensivecrab1@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

I’m a service top when it comes to restaurants (and also generally, but that’s besides the point). Typically when I am planning a first date with someone, I first ask if they have any dietary needs, and then I ask if there is any food they have been craving lately or if there are any restaurants in the area that they have been meaning to try.

If they say they are craving a specific type of food, I am pretty well enough acquainted with the different types of restaurants in my area that I can choose accordingly. I typically will choose the restaurant that serves the “best” food they have been craving. I love to bond over good food and I love showing people new things that they will enjoy (another facet of being a service top), so at the very least we will be able to talk about how good the food is and they have a new dinner spot they can take their friends.

If they choose a restaurant they’ve been meaning to try, it makes for a good dinner conversation and I potentially get to have a new spot on my restaurant list.

If they don’t have a preference, then I just choose a spot that I’ve been meaning to try that’s halfway between where we both live so it’s convenient for the both of us. If there isn’t anything I want to try in the area, I will just go for something like a sit down pizza spot.

Also, once I’ve picked a spot, I normally look in the area and pick a potential second location for us to go to if the date is going well and we still want to hang out after dinner. Typically I look for a dive bar because they’re fun, cheap, and easy to talk in.

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I’m a service top

Sorry, a what, now?

Don’t you mean a foodie?

[–] apprehensivecrab1@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

I take it you’re not queer or trans hahaha. I’ll explain :)

You know how a lot of queer people classify themselves as tops, bottoms, sides, and verses depending on which position they prefer when they’re having sex? Well within those four classifications, there are countless sub-classifications.

One subclassification in the “top” classification is “service top”. A service top is a top who prioritizes “servicing”, or pleasuring their sexual partners instead of prioritizing their own sexual gratification when they have sex.

So basically I was making a joke about myself and my own sexual classification. Because I am someone who priorizes the enjoyment of the other person in bed, it extends to me prioritizing the enjoyment of others in my waking life and accordingly informs how I would pick a restaurant on the first date.

If I was hanging out with a bunch of queer and trans people, they would get the joke. But I realize that a random stranger on the internet probably wouldn’t get it. Sorry about that. Hope you learned something new, though!

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 hour ago

Oooooohhhhh…

Thank you for the patient explanation. No, I am about as Cis as can be, a full Kinsey zero. But I thought that my time of running across strange phrases I completely fail to understand would come when I am considerably older. Not in my sixth decade. While I am not “with it”, to spindle grandpa Simpson’s quote, I do try to at least keep my head above water. At least I know what this euphamism is all about, now.

😄👍🏻