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You're on a date and it's going well. You get to choose, where do you go for dinner?
(crazypeople.online)
this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2026
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(A heads up; that answer makes you sound slightly bitter and very "all women are the same"-y, in case that wasn't your intention.)
No, the question was "where do you want to eat dinner for a first date / what do you think is a good first date dinner? Why?"
You can always present your date with two or three options and ask them what they'd prefer if you're scared of choosing "wrong", but this question was about what you would want.
It's fine thinking BK or sushi buffet are good for a first date (though I'd personally prefer to do takeaway to a park or something as the atmosphere at BK isn't great where I live). Any reason you'd like those for a first date?
I am bitter and it was my intention though I wouldn't go as far as to generalize that all women are like that as it's obviously not the case.
However, these are all different questions. What's an appropriate restaurant for a first date is different from where I'd personally like to eat which is different from which place I would choose for us to eat together.
I don't think a sushi buffet or BK is an appropriate place for a first date. Those are where I go to refuel myself and it's as romantic as visiting the gas station. That's why I end up choosing a more appropriate place but that place is in fact not where I want to go - it's where I assume she wants to go. This is pretty much my experience of most things in relationships. I try my best to please her and am left completely unsatisfied myself.
Hell - maybe I should just turn this into a shit test. Next time I get to choose I tell her I want to go cook sausages by a camp fire. If she doesn't then she can go find someone else. I'm tired of this shit.
Interesting. Where I want to go for a first date is not the same as where I want to go just to refuel. In my mind they need to facilitate different things. Are they the same to you?
Sounds like that's a suffering of your own making, to be frank. You're ignoring the "take" part of give-and-take.
I too tend to neglect myself and my needs in relationships, which is why I swore off them until I had learnt to balance my priorities so I wouldn't forget myself.
But I also fully knew that neglecting myself was something I did, not my partners. If I enthusiastically choose what they want to do and always to predict what my partner wants, instead of expressing my own wants and finding a compromise or taking turns, then they never get the opportunity to do things for me or compromise - because they think we're both getting what we want already.
If you are expressing your wants and still never get catered to, then it's probably not a good relationship. But if you're not expressing yourself you are setting your partner (and the relationship) up for failure.
I absolutely think you should make a suggestion that takes your own personality into account for a first date. Of course we dont need to dump all of our worst traits at once, but you're not there pretending to be the perfect fit like you're auditioning for the role of partner, you're both there to figure out if you mesh well together.
Plus, hot dogs by a camp fire was one of the best dates I've been on (wouldn't recommend deep woods or other very remote locations for a first date with a stranger though). I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't like camp fires!
In this case compromise means going somewhere neither of us is enthusiastic about. For me the value of eating out is that I don't need to cook myself - a sushi buffet achieves that, and the food is good. Going to a nicer restaurant means it costs more, I need to wait longer and usually I get a smaller portion of food and the quality of it is the same at best. It's simply just a worse experience for me personally. So since I'm not enjoying myself either way we may just as well go somewhere she wants to so at least one of us is having fun.
And you're right - they have been bad relationships. We haven't had anything in common. Last time though I did lay the cards on the table from the very beginning and 9 years later when she finally had enough she at least couldn't say that she didn't know or that I had changed. She did know.
If there is to be a new romantic relationship for me in the future I might just give it a try with a guy instead. It's at least conceivable that things haven't worked out in the past for the simple reason that I've been trying to shove myself into a mould I don't fit into. I'm a peculiar, eccentric person and it takes a certain kind of individual to get along with me. It seems that people either like me a lot or not at all.
Excuse my cynicism. I'm not proud of it but it is what it is.