Who is this?
This insurance plan covers absolutely nothing as literally everything can be lopped under either the first or the last rule.
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
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That's what I was thinking. It's so vague and generalized that they could deny almost any claim.
Is this healthy paws?.
FUCK HEALTHY PAWS.
They will fuck you all over if you sign up. Get off them now. They raised my premium from 80 to 300 dollars.
FUCK YOU HEALTHY PAWS. FUCK GODDAMN YOU. I HOPE YOU FAIL AND DIE IN THAT ORDER.
Every insurance's TOS I've read, there is this nuclear war thing. It's normal.
What’s never covered under your pet health insurance plan:
- Pet health
Sounds like pretty much any insurance policy. It's such a scam.
routine veterinary care isn't covered by pet health insurance?? What the fuck is it for then?
You know how insurance companies always have these massive buildings in every downtown? And you're like, "wow, how can they afford to have such a large office right in the middle of the most expensive district to have it in?"
It's because their entire operation is to take your money, and then never pay anything back. And because we are all so used to being scammed by them, we can't seem to summon the inertia to do anything about it.
My company provides pet insurance as workers benefits and it's have two routinely visits plus exams from those visits. With also unlimited emergency visits and related exams or treatment.
Avian modifies both.
That’s avian flu or avian nuclear war.
They know something we don’t.
I never trusted seagulls.
What do they actually cover?
Terrorism acts, unless OP cropped it out
No that's their full list. I didn't continue the screenshot down the page as I didn't want to be an unwitting advertisement for them.
I appreciate not wanting to promote them, but could you name them so we know who to avoid? Or at least DM me.
so we know who to avoid?
according to my friends in the vet world, Banfield. Anything owned by Banfield.
Yes. This times a kazillon.
Stay FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR away from anything Banfield.
I know this anecdote is very unique, but my wife found a tiny puppy that was incredibly sick. Everywhere we knew of was closed, except for Banfield. The tech who took him back told us that all of the health conditions they could identify were easily treatable, but very expensive. They later called us to pick up the puppy and confirmed that everything was treatable but would cost hundreds of dollars. She gave us some recommendations for food and care, told us to go buy those items, and then meet her in the parking lot in half an hour when she gets off work; she'd give us advice on where to find cheap medicine. When we met her in the parking lot, she gave us a paper bag filled with all the medicines we'd need. We asked how we should pay for them, and she said, "fuck this place, I stole them. You can pay for the medications by never bringing another pet to Banfield."
As someone with first hand experience with Banfield... Yeah. That sounds about right.
Thank you for your sacrifice
Ugh, I already had a run-in with them. They are on my permanent shit list.
Conventional war only. JDAMs and such. 3 hellfire missile strikes cap per year. Mustard gas and anthrax. Cyber warfare.
Because of the first and last lines, nothing is covered. Pre-existing condition is code for "we will deny you coverage when we feel like it".
Not nuclear war, that's for sure.
Or cloning. What sorta outfit is this anyway?
Hang nails
Clearly neglect!
New conditions or illnesses. That's why it's best to get it when your pet is young. Learned that one the hard way.
Usually routine visits and emergencies. But there's typically an age cutoff to enroll a pet
Routine visits are not covered per the last point, no?
I definitely missed that one
Where can I get nuclear war insurance?
According to what I've found out, it's an untapped market.
We can get rich if we become reinsurers who are willing to take on the risk!
It actually genius, as if there was a nuclear war, things would be that fucked up, no one would be able to claim. And you can also define what nuclear war is, one nuke isn't a war it's "terrorism" so not covered, dirty bomb? Also terrorism
Thermonuclear Armageddon, that's an act of god.
Is it just me or are they putting pretty reasonable things next to very unreasonable things? Feels like a scam.
It’s hard to provide medical attention to a pet when it’s in ash form
The nuclear war clause is in nearly every insurance policy, not just pets.
Damn. What do they know?
Turns out they're the reason we haven't had nuclear war. All this nonsense about MAD, HAHAHA no! The powerful just won't do it without baikouts for their investments.
Nuclear war is really difficult for shareholders
But I want to take you to the GAY BAR!
Just like how Java is "not intended for use in a nuclear facility." They put it in the long-ass click through agreement, so it's legally binding.
Avian flu or nuclear war
also they dont cover routine care. so what then? my beagle gets old and has hip probs due to his genetics and you claim it’s preexisting…
insurance is a scam lol.
my dogs know they have a 1k max. then it’s the cost of a 7.62.
my cats know it’s 500 bucks max.
Greedy fucks!