this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 136 points 1 month ago
[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 84 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 month ago

Good sir, thou hast come unto my godly chamber. I shall now excise thy unholy member!

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Who the fuck was the snitch!

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

No one said she was in any kind of trouble for it. I think this is just marketing

[–] w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

My wife, unfortunately.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago

And where would one find this repugnant den of heretical iniquity? So one can avoid it, of course.

[–] Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That's a grown-up thing, you'll learn soon enough.

Edit: having now watched the clip I see the endless ways I could've answered this better. Goddammit.

[–] Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's supposed to read fellatio, but whoever captioned this tried to censor it, was just the only option I found in my 30 second search for this image.

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[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I think it's a kind of pasta

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[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Post nut ~~clarity~~ sanctity.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A photo of the church is more than enough for geoguessers to figure it out.

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And said geoguessers are already in heaven

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Preface: I’m not good at this.

That doesn’t look like most church style architecture in most of the US, unless it’s in the North East / New England maybe? It almost looks more European. Also a female pastor wearing a collar like that seems unusual for the US. (Maybe Episcopalians do this? Not sure.) maybe these pics don’t even go together. I might guess that shockingly this whole story is fake.

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[–] clucose@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

She practiced, did she get better?

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don't know, how good could she have been at it to be found out? Like if this was voluntary why would anyone give up free secret oral sex? If it was not voluntary then... Church things.

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[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hey, try not to slay any demons on the way through the parking lot!

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

🎶 There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen 🎶

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] KneeTitts@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

My friend Jim... he also has a, demon, in him. ya.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 11 points 1 month ago

That’s just the next thing you do when praying the gay away doesn’t work.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Demons hate this little trick.

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[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm sure you have to be a bespoke faithful to receive that service

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If I knew there were bjs to be had I'd have been willing to give church a shot. The few times I went there it was just a crabby old man reading his storybook to everyone.

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[–] TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I have a gluttony demon. This may require repeat appointment-Er, I mean "anointments"

[–] Jaeger86@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Pretty sure I've seen that plot somewhere

The power of Christ compelled her to swallow hog.

[–] BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Should've advertised it as an exorcism.

[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

We have female pastors now?

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[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago
[–] KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure I have demon in me. Where do I apply?

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[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 month ago

So you should all know that I founding a new church!

The Church of the Clean Bill of Health!

Got a clean bill of health? You're welcome at my church!

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)
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[–] DandomRude@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The body of Christ, given for you. Take and eat.

[–] MrChewy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

We were lied to by ID Software on how an expert demon slayer looks like!! I'd ask for my money back, but I don't think they'd accept a pregnancy test that I play Doom on back...

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But which church? There are so many disgusting demon sucking pastors.

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[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As an atheist I've suddenly realized that there is a demon living in my penis.

Send help. Specifically this pastor.

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[–] omodasonya3@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am pretty sure there are porn movies with this exact theme

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