this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 137 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No no, this makes sense, you literally need to cheat.

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

It works for the crooks in charge.

But the people paying for these kind of alpha boot camps aren't ever going to be in that position. They'll just put on blinders and "hustle" like a good little worker.

[–] dumples@piefed.social 100 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 56 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] cmoney@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 48 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

The FIDE regulations dictate that a player who declines en passant must drop a brick on their pipi. A brick is kept nearby for such eventualities

Spoilerhttps://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/mzrx2o/my_workout_punishments_for_chess_blunders/

[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don’t see any anal beads in that drawing though.

[–] cmoney@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I figured it was something like that.

[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 8 points 3 days ago

We hit that bullseye and the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards.

Checkmate.

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 2 points 2 days ago

your buddy vapes over the game board

"I activate fog of war"

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 3 days ago

But he's correct. If you're rich enough you can bribe all the seconds, then you can make extra moves and irregular moves. Heck, you can just have all the seconds declare you victor.

For extra points, hire guys with guns to make sure everyone at the tournament agrees with your rules.

This is the state of modern neoliberal capitalism from the view of billionaire oligarchs and multi-national conglomerate corporations.

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 39 points 3 days ago

But that is how CEO assholes work (or try to until they can't get away with it)

Source: worked with nearly a dozen CEOs of various size companies

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)

To be fair, though, if you were in a game of chess where you could make 10 moves for every one move your opponent makes, it would be really easy to win that game of chess.

[–] Pringles@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 days ago

The Scholar’s mate school of business.

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[–] racoon@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 days ago

Well instead of "make" it should be "think" and it would be fine, you fool

[–] _chris@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Alpha in the software sense: pre-release, lots of bugs, definitely not ready for production, sale, or wide public viewing.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

And increasingly: Mostly composed of an assortment of self-reinforced hallucinations.

[–] uberfreeza@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Alpha male when full release male walks in: 😧

So we can ship it tomorrow? Great I just told the investors, so we're now leagly obligated to ship it tomorrow.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I don't want to ruin this meme, but he's saying a real thing in a confusing way. You have to think 10 moves ahead of your opponent and also the repercussions of each move at every step.

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 35 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Zero points for saying it wrong, though.

“You miss every shot you take”

“The only thing we do not fear is fear itself”

“Interrupt your opponent when he is making a mistake”

[–] Curious_Canid@piefed.ca 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There is a wonderful cartoon book by Tom Weller called "Minims". A minim is the opposite of a maxim. So the book is full of illustrations of wisdom like "The early worm gets eaten by the bird." and "You'll catch more flies with honey than you'd care to." The book's subtitle is "Man is the only animal that wears bow ties."

(Although, I have to admit, my husky sometimes wears bow ties and he looks a lot better in them than I do.)

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Cats in bow ties also look great.

[–] uberfreeza@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

"If fighting is sure to result in defeat then you must fight"

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No, he said a real thing in a completely factually wrong way, and that's assuming that this "entrepeneur" actually understood it correctly, which I doubt.

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[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Read between the lines: they're saying that they have to cheat to win.

[–] TotallyWorthLife@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

If he said "do them in your head" it would have made more sense lol

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

If you told me this before, I would be winning every game of chess I played

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I hear you can cheat at chess by sticking a vibrator in your ass.

Maybe that's what the rich CEOs are doing to win

[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I keep trying but it doesn't seem to make me rich

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[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago (4 children)

It's called tempo, you sub-1800ers /s

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[–] neatchee@piefed.social 7 points 2 days ago

Business is like Start Craft 2, you gotta raise your APM if you want to beat the Korean pros

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I gave up on playing chess. The game has become such a metaphor, such a fetish symbol for intellect, so every dude "knows how to play", but won't risk the humiliation of loss, and therefore won't play. I don't enjoy online chess, so I just don't get to play.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 8 points 3 days ago

Give shot chess a try. Each piece is a small shot glass.

I had loads of fun destroying my friends since I was in the chess club in grade school. And they had fun because alcohol.

Or find a park that has chess boards.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I "know" how to play chess but when I try to play against a computer I constantly get reminded I can't move my piece there because I would be putting myself in check.

Pretty sure I've only won 2 chess games in my life. ..... Against someone at my level.

[–] underscores@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

you didn't know about the French cum sock opener? you fool ! had you known you could have forked me into giving up one of my pieces !

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Chess isn't actually a logic game or a smarts game, it's a memory game. If you're a computer or one of those 15-people-per-generation chess brains, then yeah, you probably can logic your way into thinking enough moves ahead. If not, your only option is to remember a bunch of different plays and learn how to recognise and execute the preditermined strategies. If you try to do it your way, you will be stuck losing to a bad computer or chess club kids online

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I beat my kids

at chess whenever we play.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

This explains SO much about their thinking.

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

is this from Trump's book?

The art of the steal.

He doesn't tell how it works...

[–] Luisp@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

After the first check you just eat their king

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