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I'm a guy, but I was born with a hand anomaly that I was mercilessly teased about when I was a kid. I had this realization when I was in kindergarten, and it gave me the confidence to be who I want to be for the rest of my life. It is indeed a powerful mindset if you can actually believe it, though it does make you a bit of an outcast when the other kids realize teasing doesn't work on you. Even the kids that don't tease their peers will think you're weird for not reacting to it.
Why would this apply only to girls?
cause traditionally/stereotypically feminine things are seen as stupid, useless, and cringe while masculine ones are seen as serious, deep, and respectable.
trans people also show that being a man is seen as an "upgrade" while being a woman a "downgrade" (trans men don't get a fraction of the hate trans women do). same thing with tomboys-femboys.
plus, a man and woman could do the exact same thing (being assertive for example) & the perception will be different (woman - bitch, man - boss).
If you think boys aren't ridiculed (for literally anything) you've never been to school.
So, boys, might as well do what you want.
the experiences of boys and girls in society aren't comparable.
this post is about girls, going "but what about the boys?" on it is just misogyny.
I understand the feedback because there's no need to distinguish between gender when you are talking about something as generic as personal empowerment. The post is not about girls, it's about human psychology.
I'd disagree with this. Personal empowerment is universal and applies to everyone, sure. But its nature is personal, and shaped by a multitude of factors including (but not limited to) gender. That's basically the idea behind intersectionality.
Along the various lines that make up someone's circumstances, groups can share collective barriers to their empowerment. In this case, women face specific, gender-based obstacles (men do as well, but that wasn't what was being discussed). So when you generalize a conversation about one group's particular issues, at best you derail something that would've been helpful. At worst, you end up with an "All Lives Matter" bumper sticker.
ETA: And yes, I know all people face bullying/teasing. But the nature of the bullying/teasing is not universal, nor is the impact it has on the collective empowerment of specific groups.
compares the experience of men and women
noooo you can’t compare the experiences of boys and girls!
Huh?
It's not misogyny. Maybe the experiences of boys and girls aren't comparable, but somethings transcend gender, and getting ridiculed is one of them.
This post unnecessarily genders something that isn't gendered, so it makes total sense that someone would point out that it's not restricted to one gender.
Guys are used to having their experiences invalidated when it comes to this kind of stuff. "Oh, be a man. Don't be so sensitive. No one cares about your feelings. Man up, be stronger, stop being weak and then people won't make fun of you," the list goes on.
And then there's the aspect where bringing up issues that impact men always gets hit with "BUT WHAT ABOUT WOMEN?!? MEN HAVE IT SO GOOD, WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?!?"
So when a post directly implies that "girls get ridiculed, to the exclusion of boys," it makes sense to clarify that "boys get ridiculed too."
Also, it's mostly women and girls who judge other women and girls, so trying to make that about misogyny is kind of a stretch. Men and boys get judged by men, women, boys, girls, and everyone else.
Not to mention when a woman or a girl gets made fun of, like thirty people have her back, but when a guy gets made fun of, no one cares.
Just overall, making this a gendered issue from the start was the wrong call, and the people responding by saying this affects other genders too aren't the ones unnecessarily gendering the issue.
Boys already do what they want hahaha
The phrase “boys will be boys” is a thing that exists ffs
so why exclude men who are made fun of for feminine expression?
there are definitely socialized negative biases that specifically women deal with, but being exclusionary doesn't actually help the cause, it just narrows the audience that is allowed to relate to the cause.
and it applies in gender neutral situations, like drawing literally anything in jr.high/highschool would grant the name ____fucker, no matter the benign nature of the variable being drawn.
it's a good little rule that doesn't need to devolve into a cultural battle about which group gets to identify with it more.
i constantly talk about the atheist/mra vs feminist war which just put everyone on the defensive, destroying active efforts in fighting groups like the heritage foundation, who are now doing unimaginable systemic harm to women through destruction of academic spaces and scientific efforts around women's health largely propped up by religious fundamentalist efforts.
sometimes you have to be like "there's something specific about this group which we don't want being lost in the current conversation," but also sometimes it's good to be less rigid about which generalized group is allowed to identify with or benefit from progressive ideals.
fem guys already relate to content targeted toward women since their lived experience is closer to that than to the typical man, so no exclusion.
men often do this. post is about something women related -> "but what about the men?". we don't have a duty or obligation to include men in every single conversation. men can also create their own content/conversations, and they should. hijacking/inserting themselves just reeks of insecurity and misogyny.
edit and just to be clear: anyone who finds this post relatable is more than valid and welcome, regardless of gender. it’s just the act of explicitly turning it into a “won’t somebody please think of the men?” thing that really grinds my gears.
fem guys already relate to content targeted toward women since their lived experience is closer to that than to the typical man, so no exclusion.
Shit like this makes my blood boil... "oh, you're struggling with acceptance and your identity? Well, people ridicule you for not adhering to what boys should be, but the best we can do is offer you stuff targeted at girls because, you know, you're essentially a girl anyway". Fuck that. And then telling me about misogyny. Ridiculous.
we don't have a duty or obligation to include men in every single conversation.
This isn't a female safe space. Posting something here that deliberately leaves out half the population and then complaining that people bring up the stupid line you're drawing between boys and girls where none is necessary is laughable.
They never said "the best we can do is offer you stuff targeted at girls because, you know, you're essentially a girl anyway", you did. If you think there should be more stuff for certain men, you're free to make it. If not all men relate to that content, I hope they are more capable of nuance than you seem to be. The idea that relating to the experience of another group somehow takes away from your actual identity is not how someone who has a normal relationship with their identity would work.
I date women as a woman and sometimes men will be talking specifically to other men about dating women and I will find what they say relatable. It does not make me question my gender or sexuality. I just think "wow! So true!" and move on with my day.
It's ok to have a similar experience or understanding of the world as someone else, even if they are not talking directly to or about your personal experience.
They are not drawing a line. You're welcome to comment what you like, but this is straight "so you hate waffles?" level of reasoning.
This isn’t a female safe space? Holy shit, way to tell on yourself.
It’s not just men here and this community isn’t a male safe space either. It’s a shitposting community and you couldn’t handle a woman making a post about a woman’s perspective.
Quite right. I would also say there is definitely a stigma to men who do not present as fem doing the occasional fem thing, and it is more of a stigma than when a woman who generally presents fem doing the occasional male thing.
Way less, in my experience, than ever before, but definitely still there. You get less open mockery and more silent confusion these days.
Yeah a girl without makeup in a hoodie and sweaters wouldn't really raise eyebrows as much as a guy in a dress and makeup, I would bet money on that. Perhaps not as much nowadays but I'm sure it still very much exists.
Especially if you live in rural areas instead of a large city. Probably people living in L.A. etc. can reasonably disagree with this, but in general.
Making a post about women doesn't - and shouldn't - mean you're excluding men. I feel like excluding should only be defined as an active attempt to prevent people from associating with the post, rather then a failure to include men and enbies and every other gender in existence in the body of the post.
I feel like leftist spaces have gotten a bit too expectant that everything relevant to an individual must be explicitly stated to be as such, rather than encouraging people to simply find relevancy even in things that are not explicitly made for them. I'm a guy, and when I read this I felt a connection with it - I didn't even think about how it only mentioned women, as if that should mean it can't apply to me.
I would rather instill a mindset in all people that would allow for situations where, for example, a man can find relevancy in a post about women, rather then try to get all people to only share content that specifically addresses who all is intended to be able to relate to it. A woman saying things are hard for women isn't making any comments about whether or not it's hard for men, just like a black guy saying black lives matter isn't making any comments about whether or not all lives matter.
Making a post about women doesn't - and shouldn't - mean you're excluding men. I feel like excluding should only be defined as an active attempt to prevent people from associating with the post
Does this apply to making posts about men? Because if so (meaning, the rule applies universally without making exclusions for certain demographics), then I'm inclined to agree.
Experience shows however that posts (or any media) about men usually get attacked for ostensibly excluding women, even without explicitly doing so.
I would rather instill a mindset in all people that would allow for situations where, for example, a man can find relevancy in a post about women, rather then try to get all people to only share content that specifically addresses who all is intended to be able to relate to it.
This is almost hilarious. I mean, on the surface I agree. But again, if we flip the situation then we can see how comical it is. Can women find relevancy in a post about men without commenting by saying it isn't gendered, or even that it applies to women more than it does to men? The same thing applies to race. Can POCs find relevancy in a post about white people (even just implicitly), without claiming it's excluding other races?
The fact is if a white guy wants to create any form of media, be it writing a novel or making an indie film or whathaveyou, he has to be very careful to explicitly include other genders and races, because anything less will get nailed as being exclusionary.
But when a post is explicitly exclusive to one gender, as long as if that gender happens to be women, then suddenly "Oh it's fine, men can just find relevancy in it even if it doesn't (explicitly or implicitly) include them. It doesn't have to be gendered even though it's clearly and deliberately gendered."
Like, the mental hoops people will jump through to justify double standards as long as men are the ones being disadvantaged by them. That is not egalitarianism.
Bud, what? Women constantly have to find relevancy in posts about men. It's been the default for nearly every culture since the beginning of human history. The only double standard is the universal double standard that people like you couldn't see this whole time, and is only just slightly starting to close.
Any post you see without a woman complaining that it's fallen on them to once again find relevancy in a post that isn't about them is an example of them utilizing their own lived experience, rather than being outlined as the intended audience by the poster. So, yes, they're following the mentality I described for most posts.
Because that's their lived experience. You want to post about guys, go ahead.
No one said that it did.
OP: I like waffles.
YOU: oh so you hate pancakes?
OP: No man. WTF are you talking about? Those are 2 different things.
It doesn’t say that it only applies to girls its a screencap of part of conversation from people we have little context about.
And “sir”
Shit like this makes my blood boil... "Trauma-dump”… Posting something here that deliberately leaves out half the population …
This is a shitpost community.
Yes, but why are we making fun of a guy for doing what he loves (posting "but what about men?" In a post talking about women)?
(This is a joke btw.)
If we don't make fun of him for litterally everything he does he'll never realize he has license to do what he wants
Girls was meant in a gender neutral way obv
Akshullee, they didn't say it did - just that girls get "made fun of over everything." I don't have the correct parts to validate that, however.
It doesn't, and they did not say it did.
Why not? Girls and boys face different social dynamics
Mam, you have officially entered your bog witch era. This is one of the more glorious periods of your life.
This is clearly a screenshot of a post about girls from another platform. It’s not been manipulated to be about one gender or another, it just is what it is. I’d love to comment about the content itself. Instead I have to ask:
What groups would straight white cis men not what-about-me on? Ethnic minorities? Physical disabilities? LGBTQIA+? Why when it’s women you think your privilege is legit? Do you ever think this post is not applicable to you? Are there any posts you would be ok to just feel free to stfu and scroll on?
Honest questions because I am baffled why this always is occurring
I'm not a girl, and I have this mindset.
Eat my shorts!
Ladies with this attitude gave us Heated Rivalry. And for that, I am thankful, I wanna eat those hockey player asses 🥵🥵🥵
I am confused and hungry what's this?
Heated Rivalry is a raunchy show about gay hockey players, based off the romance novel series where one of the books had the same name
i mean my wife already knows i'm bi but would suggesting watching it give her too many of the wrong ideas? raunchy gay hockey players just sounds fun.