this post was submitted on 17 May 2026
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Science Memes

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[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 105 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Sometimes the babies eat the mom too. Yes I speak from... I guess second-hand experience. First-hand would imply I was a matricidal cannibal hamster.

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 101 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That is way more impressive. Any idiot can eat a baby.

[–] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Who would you rather fight: one mumma sized hamster or 5 baby sized hamsters?

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Depends on the species of the mumma / baby used to size the hamsters.

Amoeba: I'm taking the 5 babies. It'll be harder but I still like my chances.

Oak Tree: I think my only chance is to take the babies, Though I'd be tempted to choose momma just to marvel at such a creature.

Elephant: No good options here, in a fair fight I'd lose either match. I think my only shot is to choose the momma hamster and try to win through trickery.

Hummingbird: I would lose via forfeit. They're too cute I can't do it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Hummingbirds I get, but you're telling me scientists finally figured out how to get elephants to bone hamsters?

[–] SmokedBillionaire@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

wow, TIL. Poor guy.

That whole wikipedia page reads like a tall tale.

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[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

But can any baby eat an idiot?

I would love to find out but the man keeps denying my grant applications.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No way. Babies can't even have fucking honey, my money is on the idiot.

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[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Great band name.

[–] CombatWombat@feddit.online 65 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can use the calories to do anything, even make more babies!

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 42 points 1 month ago (4 children)

My son is almost 30. Is it too late?

[–] deft@lemmy.wtf 25 points 1 month ago

Absolutely not honestly he might be thinking the same about you. Strike before struck upon

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago
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[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 63 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Apparently when a captive hamster does it it's usually caused by a nutrient deficiency. There was some research like a decade ago on how corn based diets didn't offer enough B3 and would create nearly 100% cannibalism rates, with similar problems in diets lacking in protein.

So if you've ever had a mad cannibal hamster mom don't worry, it was YOUR fault!

[–] MousePotatoDoesStuff@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What food do they need added to their diet?

[–] moakley@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago
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[–] its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 1 month ago

Mama hamster ain't letting no predators have all those nutrients.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Some species, like rodents who reproduce stupidly fast, will eat their own young when under stress to recoup lost nutrients because they can't easily take their brood on the road to a safer location. It's easier to just start over with a new batch.

[–] Sualtam@lemmus.org 24 points 1 month ago

I had a collegue who would always tell children running in front of cars: "You're faster reproduced than repaired."

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 16 points 1 month ago

"This baby is easier to move as my own fat ass."

-Hamsters

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Depriving the enemy of food so they are too weak to fight is a good tactic.

[–] just2look@lemmy.zip 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hamsters out there reading Sun Tzu?

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It’s funny how The Art of War is just a senior NCO (Sum Tzu) telling a bunch of idiot hereditary officers how to not lose wars with extremely basic advice because he’d seen what had happened if they didn’t have that

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What a grand epiphany, hamsters are Russia in the winter.

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[–] brognak@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Just a random thought, stop buying your kids hamsters. They are weirdly fragile, and die if they are feeling spiteful that day. They don't love being held (but can be chill!), and cleaning their enclosure is gross and nonstop. They are cute, and I do enjoy them when they come into my life (friends/partners have them in occasion).

Instead, and I am dead ass here, get a tarantula (new world). They are the stupidestly simple thing I have ever kept, feed them when you remember to, clean their cage at some point, don't handle them. They live for 5-20years (males live very short lives, females live creepily long) and are absolutely fascinating tank pets. Like fish, with 1/100th the work and expense. Oh also baby spiders are basically free, cus while hamster have large broods they ain't got shit on yet old spider bros.

The biggest downside is that they are literally a spider and that freaks people out, but it freaks them out even more when I tell them unlike the probably tens of other spiders in the house I know exactly where mine are at all times.

[–] Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Have you tried a pet rock?

[–] kender242@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Jumping spiders make good low maintenance pets as well. They are intelligent, cute, and typically smaller than a tarantula.

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

My mom, an arachnophobe, had a pet jumping spider who lived on her desk at work.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

I have had a couple of these. They only live 1-2 years but they are like tiny dogs!

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 9 points 1 month ago

Just make sure to put enrichment in their cases and make sure the case is big enough.

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Spiders can absolutely become addictive though! I got my first pet jumping spider a couple years ago. I fell down the rabbit hole inadvertently pulling my lifelong arachnophobe partner with me. Our collection now inlcludes hundreds of jumpers, about 60 tarantulas, and a handful of other true spiders. Spiders fuggin rock.

[–] brognak@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Totally! If you have one spider, it's basically the same effort to care for like 5+ more, and even more than that isn't much additional effort just becomes space.

Even feeding them is like $3/mo and that's with buying feeders at big box store.

And the absolute best part about spider? Zero chance of dumping tens of gallons of water on the floor, or chewing up something valuable, or peeing on a pile of laundry. I guess you could get bitten but for the vast majority of tarantulas your have to stick your hand in front of their face and wiggle your fingers, and even then the majority would freak the fuck out and bolt for their safe place.

Spiders are really the best low/no effort pet.

[–] pomegranatefern@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Hamsters are specialty pets which require specialty care and knowledge and I wish to God that more people understood this.

[–] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago

They are weirdly fragile

Meanwhile, my childhood hamster would escape even with books holding the cage door down and once wandered all the way across the house to find us while we were watching TV.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 month ago
[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I've never seen a hamster grow to old age. They always die in some horrible way first. Get your kids a hamster! It's not so much a pet as it is a $25 life lesson on the fragility of mortality.

[–] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I (and my siblings) had a total of 6 hamsters. 4 died of old age, 1 suddenly bled out overnight, and 1 died pretty young, but nothing was obviously wrong, so I dunno.

My neighbors had more than a dozen rodents (including 5 guinea pigs). They all died horrifically, including 4 that were killed by mouse traps. Because of course you should have mouse traps, and also keep small rodents that you allow to escape constantly. As an adult, I think the parents were seriously negligent in teaching their children, and then also negligent in buying more rodents for the grinder after the first two or three met horrible fates.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We've got two guinea pigs, and in my opinion, they aren't that hard to keep alive.

My daughter's guinea pig just died, but he was an older fellow. He went with her to college and got her all the way through to a few months past graduation.

As George Carlin said, "You're supposed to know it in the pet shop. It's going to end badly. You're purchasing a small tragedy."

https://youtu.be/ktp-Zsm25dU?t=140s

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

grief is the debt we take on by loving something

there will always be a tragedy at the end

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[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Since we are on the hamster death topics,

  • My first one's cage was left in the yard by my dad. In summer. I don't even need to tell you how this ended.

  • We got a second one, went to grandma's house for like 2 days and when we were back he got a parasite on his stomach. The treatement didn't work. :(

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I've heard that hamsters will play dead so effectively, that they will convince their owners that they actually are dead.

So, assuming that's true, some hamsters die horribly in a small box underground.

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

if the baby is gonna die either way, then you might as well get that valuable protein back

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago

They just forgot the cheek pouch isn't meant for baby, but i wouldn't blame them, you're not you when you're panicking.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hamsters are cannibals.

It’s weird, I know, because they’re so cute. They are though,

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